A spokesman for gunmen in the Gaza Strip said they had fired a rocket tipped with a chemical warhead at Israel early on Thursday.
[H/T 2 Drudge.]
WARNING! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants!
A spokesman for gunmen in the Gaza Strip said they had fired a rocket tipped with a chemical warhead at Israel early on Thursday.
[H/T 2 Drudge.]
"It's unbelievable," Dalzell said. "We thought there was no way, it was absolutely impossible, but he found a way. It was basically like breaking out of Fort Knox."Smarter than your average bear, unquestionably.
He said the bear bashed a nearly 400-pound steel door off its four bolts, destroyed an electrical box while tearing through two electric fences and scrambled over a 12-foot fence anchored with 2 feet of steel below ground.
"I think he just kept charging it (the door) and charging it until it broke off its bolts," Dalzell said. "Everything was completely trashed. We are dealing with a pretty smart and determined bear."
You'll remember that I wrote fondly of my old push-reel mower.
Doctors don't know if Derik Hampton will regain full use of an eye after he
was egged while riding his motorcycle Sunday night at West 119th Street and
Aberdeen Road in Leawood.
He was wearing a helmet, but the visor was only halfway down when a car carrying four men threw an egg at his head.
Disparate views of the same upcoming potentially literally earth-shattering event:
Due to the proximity of its orbit to Earth and its diameter, 2004 XP14
has been classified as a "Potentially Hazardous Asteroid"...
Reuters via Myway News brings us the story of one helluva wake-up call:
Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend
with a glass lightbulb in his anus.
He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
"Carl Edwards Shirtless" Guy, I'd like to introduce you to "Nude Mr. Whiskers."
The transvestites first appeared in March when they raided Magazine Street
like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, ...
What the Surgeon General doesn't want you to know about smoking:
New research is focusing on a drug to treat cognitive symptoms [of
schizophrenia] by mimicking nicotine's biochemical effects in the brain. More
than 80 percent of schizophrenics are heavy smokers, and scientists believe
smoking may be a form of self-medication for this disease.
From Drkoop.com, here's one for our Nature vs. Nurture Department:
[N]ew research again confirms that the more older brothers a male has, the more likely he is to be gay.
CNN.com brings us this:
The Backstreet Boys are saying goodbye to the oldest member of their band, according to a statement posted on the group's Web site Saturday.
Brit Brother must have a raging hard-on over this one:
Government surveillance of all children, including information on whether they eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day, will be condemned tomorrow as a Big Brother system.
The country is moving from 'parents are free to bring children up as they think best as long as they are not abusive or neglectful' to a more coercive 'parents must bring children up to conform to the state's views of what is best'."
Soccer's opened up a whole new world of marketing.
It seems the German sex shop chain, Beate Uhse came out with Ollie K and Michael B vibrators and a David B dildo. To anyone who knows soccer, it appeared as if stars Oliver Khan, Michael Ballack and David Beckham had lent their names to a line of sex toys.
Amanda Lee Myers, or her headline writers at the AP, needs to learn the difference.
"This fire is like a caged-up coyote," said Mike Dondero, deputy incident commander for the fire. "It's trying to get out 24 hours a day."
Man arrested for using coffee shop's wireless signal.
A 20-year-old man in Vancouver, Wash., was charged with theft of services
for allegedly sitting in a coffee shop parking lot and using its wireless
Internet service for months, according to a report.
WSBTV is running an ugly dog contest. I wanted to email them with a suggestion for the name of the trophy: The Chupacabra Cup. That would have been the headline for this post.
You see where this is going, don't you? Don't you?
The old headline is no longer sufficient. The new headline is:
[H/T 2 Buzzpage.]
Guillen's punishment comes from MLB, not the team, in the form of "an undisclosed [translation: miniscule] amount of money" and compulsory sensitivity training that he doesn't intend to undergo.
"I don't think I'll be going, I don't think that'll happen," Guillen told ESPNdeportes.com in an interview at U.S. Cellular Field on Friday. The interview was conducted in Spanish.
on how workers who refuse to improve their productivity enough to merit a pay raise got shafted.
Boynton Fla. abandons eminent domain in Heart area.
"We are pulling out," Mayor Jerry Taylor said. "We just figured it's going to be costly in the long run. Too many people would be willing to fight it."
John Little, attorney for several of the property owners, said he was surprised at the city's decision.
"This is a great day," Little said. "This now puts everyone in the position to negotiate freely in the open market. My clients can voluntarily decide if they want to sell."
This is a direct quote from the headline [emphasis mine]:
"Silly wife; I'm not Brer Fox and you shore ain't Brer Rabbit!"
She told [police] her husband had chased her down the lane. When he caught up with her, he threw her into a briar patch along the lane.
Spit-free smokeless tobacco being test-marketed.
Man, wearing seatbelt, burns to death inside vehicle.
Deputies say the driver lost control, ran off the road and hit a tree. The vehicle then burst into flames.
A deputy used a fire extinguisher, but it was too late. Authorities say the victim was burn beyond recognition.
He was wearing a seatbelt.
Another reason to hate the Wipe Sux.
Angry with a recent column by Mariotti critical of Guillen's handling of
recently demoted relief pitcher Sean Tracey and upset with Mariotti over past
columns, Guillen said to reporters when referring to Mariotti before Tuesday's
game, "What a piece of [expletive] he is, [expletive] fag."
Guillen defended his use of the term "fag" by saying this about homosexuals and the use of the word in question: "I don't have anything against those people. In my country, you call someone something like that and it is not the same as it is in this country.''
Guillen said that in his native Venezuela, that word is not a reference to a person's sexuality, but to his courage. He said he was saying that Mariotti is "not man enough to meet me and talk about [things before writing].''
. . . if Dan Rather somehow ended up at Fox.
Turns out there WERE WMD's in Iraq after all.
A Pentagon official who confirmed the findings said that all the weapons were
pre-1991 vintage munitions "in such a degraded state they couldn't be used for
what they are designed for."
. . . my brain goo is especially runny today, so I beg your indulgence if today's posts contain typos or seem rather disorganized. Seasonal-Affective-Mania (the opposite of Seasonal-Affective-Depression, which happens in winter) will do that.
. . . if you say the earth is surrounded with "giant fizzy bubbles" than if you call them what they are:
... bubbles of superhot gas constantly grow and pop around Earth,
scientists announced Tuesday.
Question: Why doesn't the Defense Department develop a GPS tag small enough to sew into a soldier's uniform unnoticed, for situations just such as this?
One of the symptoms of schizophrenia is that the brain draws connections that shouldn't be drawn, as in "Two green cars just passed my house, so the world is ending."
It's old news that masturbation can help prevent prostate cancer.
“Beer is the major dietary source of xanthohumol, but the average content
of xanthohumol in beer may not be high enough to produce a significant
inhibitory effect on benign prostate hyperplasia (BPH) in humans,” wrote lead
author Emily Colgate.
Indeed, lead researcher Emily Ho said that a person would have to drink
more than 17 beers to consume the same amount found effective in the
Remember Buddy, the gas-saving goat that was banned from his owner's yard by the idiot nannystatists running Manhattan, Montana?
The owner of a Manhattan plumbing business now says he will give Buddy a
home, on property outside of town. The goat will be on land owned by Chris
Peter, who was present when the Town Council decided Buddy had to go.
No, you pervs. In this case, that headline has no connection to the gay lifestyle.
Stop the presses! Someone in Hollywood (West Hollywood, actually) briefly glimmers with rational common sense!
The resolution reportedly instructs the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department not to "target adult marijuana users who consume this drug in private and pose no danger to the community."
Wife delivers death penalty to nonchivalrous hubby.
BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese woman has been charged with accidentally
killing her husband with a sword after he refused to make her dinner, the
Shanghai Daily said on Tuesday.
Police said Tang Xiaowan, 25, who has been practicing swordsmanship since
she was young, had often forced her husband of three years at swordpoint to
carry out her demands.
Seen in Wal-Mart yesterday:
Harvested the Yukon Gold over the weekend. As I feared when I saw that the plants became these gigantic, ten-foot-tall monstrosities, the harvest wasn't that good.
Here, The Arkanssouri Blog gets a shout-out, or maybe a shout-down, I can't tell which, from the Club For Growth for the term "nannystatist," and it's usefulness in describing Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee.
Ironically, I said it to assert my butchness.
"If they're TOO matchy, they cease to be an outfit and become either a pantsuit or an ensemble. Lesbians wear pantsuits, and real men don't wear ensembles."
So I'm at the store perusing the Chicken Buillon granules. A cup of hot chicken buillon clears the phlegm out of a coughy throat better than cough drops.
Full disclosure here; I have personal reasons which prevent me from ever supporting Mike Huckabee for anything.
There he goes again:
Montana town bans man from alleviating the energy crisis.
The town council has ordered Bob Perkins to find a new home for the goat that eats the weeds and grass on his front lawn. "I can have two obnoxious dogs, but not a cute goat," Perkins said.
Mayor Tony Haag said the town of about 1,400 people is growing and cannot afford to allow one of its residents to have a goat. If it did, he said, what would stop other town residents from keeping goats, too?
Here is the caption for the WPDQ's political cartoon "Crowque" today, emphasis mine:
Gay/Lesbian Section of Chicago-area library torched.
Chicago Police say there is no evidence the incident was a hate crime and are conducting an arson investigation.
. . . LIVER!
No, he's not switching to a smart chartreuse-and-mauve costume.
Marvel's roster of invincible crime fighters is split into two bitterly opposed factions, with one camp -- championed by the likes of Spiderman -- in favour of the new law and the other, including Captain America and his ilk, refusing to relinquish anonymity.
So I'm looking at Wal-Mart yesterday for some garden-hose menders. I find lots of them, but they're all the male end. I need both the male and female end (I guess that would make me bigardenhosual).
State police say 44-year-old Benjamin Melville of Keene Valley was driving in the northern Essex County community of Bloomingdale Saturday morning when he lost control of his car and crashed into the Saranac River.
Melville was reportedly trapped underwater by his seat belt and the car's airbag. Troopers say the car landed on its roof and became submerged in seven feet of water.
A local coroner said an autopsy conducted yesterday found that Mellville died from drowning.
Other than MAYBE the broken nose, what injuries would Ben Roethlisberger NOT have suffered had he been wearing the helmet that the media seem so obsessed about?
Myway News and Reuters bring us an article about how a man owes his life to his own obesity.
BERLIN (Reuters) - A 440 pound German man discovered that being overweight can be good for your health -- if you get run over by a car.
German police said the extra body mass prevented the 30-year-old man from suffering potentially fatal injuries when a Volkswagen Polo drove over him after he braked suddenly on his bicycle at a crossroads and fell off in front of the car.
Seen on Drudge today:
It's so small I can't even see it in Jacko's outstretched hands.
From myway news, relevant text emphasis mine:
HONG KONG (AP) - The survival of the human race depends on its ability to find new homes elsewhere in the universe because there's an increasing risk that a disaster will destroy the Earth, world-renowned scientist Stephen Hawking said Tuesday.
Reuters: Gore to train 1,000 to spread word about climate .
I've long suspected Cookie Monster was either an anarchist or a nihilist.
Doctors call for 'fat tax' on Coca-Cola and Pepsi.
Doctors will this week declare war on America's soft drinks industry by
calling for a 'fat tax' to combat the nation's obesity epidemic.
Dude's wifey has promised him a threesome if he gets 500K hits on his website. As of this writing, he's at 488,684.
. . . Republicans DO usually try to argue ideals.
. . . the following is so funny I forgot to laugh.
New Euclid OH ordinance dictates acceptable window dressing. Using the subjective standard of "unsightly," no less.
Seen on ABC News this morning:
You'd think SOMEWHERE in this CBS piece on the senate's rejection of the "Marriage Protection Amendment" that they could have listed who voted for it and who voted against it.
. . . when there's a blog out there that consists entirely of one link to my blog?
Leave it to the New York Scaly Douche to come up with:
Two peacocks attack 3-year-old boy.
From the land of the Bridge to Nowhere comes this story of a bridge from fish to babies (emphasis on the things that are so wrong mine, not theirs):
Fueled by $443,000 in federal funding from the Alaska Fisheries Development Foundation, a project is underway at the University of Alaska Fisheries Industrial Technology Center at Kodiak to create baby food made from salmon.
Along that vein, this man should have remembered that.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
Today's Misinterpretable Graphic comes from this site.
. . . but this one's worth it, for the headline alone.
Though sale of these dummies might be illegal, but a Manchester-based eBay trader is selling them in pulsating purple, pink, yellow and blue for 1.50 pounds.
In Manchester, trading standards officers seized more than 1,000 from street traders, saying they break safety rules, as the babies could confuse them with real dummies and swallow them, or be accidentally strangled by their multicoloured cords.
On one of my tangents, "No cera" in Spanish means "Not wax."
You have been given the power to resurrect five people who died in the last five hundred years. They will be resurrected in their intellectual prime. And for the next 25 years, the five will serve as a Governing Council over all of the earth.
Batwoman returns. As a batmuncher.
Man Severs His Penis To Prove His Faithfulness To Wifey.
This is the true face of liberalism in America. All the flyover people are expendable. Anyone who doesn't live in New York City, Washington DC, or Hollywood doesn't matter. We're all just hicks undeserving of protection from terrorist attacks.