The Arkanssouri Blog.: 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Come with me now in the Wayback Machine . . .

. . . to a time before music videos sucked.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Click pic to embiggen it.
To find out how you can help this poor man, click here.

I probably shouldn't admit this.

But I don't watch NBC's The Biggest Loser to lose weight.

I watch it to enjoy the sight of t-shirted guys like Jaron, Jason, Brian, and Marty, who may be this year's Matt (who was MUCH hotter fat). (FYI, NBC, the abbreviation for Missouri is "MO", not "MI.")

Sometimes I am such a perv.

But didn't the left in the 80's tell us such weaponry wouldn't work?

China disables US satellites with laser weapons.

Perhaps we, in turn, should disable their laser guns with nuclear weapons. Or hack into the operating system of every Chinese satellite in orbit and send them all crashing into Beijing.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

I'll go them one better.

Boston City Councilor Jerry P. McDermott crusades to take down the city's landmark Citgo sign.

I think it might be more effective to leave the sign in place and hang a larger sign just above it that says "Don't Buy".

Or, aim higher. Give Citgo the Orinoco River Treatment. Nationalize all the company's United States gas stations and other assets and divide them among U.S. companies.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

In middle of a thunderstorm,

but I needed to come in and let my minions know that I don't know when or if I'll be posting this next week.

I have to go to Koshkonong every day and feed my uncle's critters while he goes to Cult Camp.

But weep not, my minions. I have not forsaken you. I will be back after the week, to post again.

At least for another week, after which I'll have to do it again so he can go to Texas to visit his newly-manufactured granddaughter.

In the meantime, you can get your fix of slightly off-kilter post-objectivist libertarian (Sadly, small "l") commentary here.

OR, those of you who are masochistic, self-loathing men, you can visit Man-Hating Cunts.

OR, if you have some time on your hands, you can read about the horrors of the U.N.'s Agenda 21. [H/T 2 the possibly-but-maybe-not nutjobs at Radio Liberty.]

And those of you in the Missouri law-enforcement community, I have an assignment for you to work on. More of a question, really. I've heard that the reason this attempted murderer and this attempted murderer were not charged with attempted murder is that attempted murder is not a crime in Missouri. So they, like Zsa Zsa slapping a cheeky cop, are charged with assault. Is this the case? If so, WTF??!!?? You can go to jail in Missouri for smoking a little pot, but not for attempting to murder a little girl?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only difference between ATTEMPTED murder and ACTUAL murder is the ineptitude of the attacker.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Gummint Cheese and the Po-Po.

(Click comic to embiggen.)

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

ABC still faking it.

Remember the "live shot" where Cokie Roberts stood in front of a picture of the Capitol?

Well, it seems that even the backlash from that deception hasn't taught the network their lesson.

Because GMA, the morning tentacle of ABC, is still faking it.

I posted a thread on GMA's message board to hold them accountable. Go. Read. Post.

[H/T memeorandum and Newsbusters.]

Shuttle solution.

It seems there are more UFO's swarming Atlantis. This causes concern among the NASA types that something may be damaged.

I have a solution that would fix similar problems in the future.


Plop the astronauts back aboard the ISS, and send Atlantis back to Earth on her own. Either she will break up, or she won't. Either way, no 'nauts are lost.

Then send Endeavour or Discovery to pick up the 'nauts. Maybe even a Soyuz.

I've got a feeling most of the procedures are already automated, so it shouldn't be too hard to rig the shuttles to fly themselves home.

I still question the wisdom of naming a space shuttle after something that sank in the ocean.

Two people (and I use that term loosely) who clearly deserve to die.

This one.

And this one.

Granted, neither are capital crimes. Why the second is not a capital crime is beyond me, though. The only difference between attempted murder and actual murder is that the perpetrator failed in the attempt.

I guess we can only pray that both get raped repeatedly and murdered in prison.

I gotta work on that Emperor of the World thing.

"I didn't even WANT to until you told me I COULDN'T!" -- The late, great Sam Kinison.

Parading a painted elephant no longer allowed in L.A.

[H/T 2 brainhop.]

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

YouTube of the Day.

If it's not showing up again, go here to see.

Because Mexico and Brazil are such good role models.

NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg of the Pig Party* suggests bribing the poor to make healthy choices.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Poor New Yorkers who make healthy choices - such as
staying in school and regularly seeing the doctor - should be rewarded with cash
to help break the cycle of poverty, Mayor Michael Bloomberg suggested

The idea, which has seen success in countries including Brazil and Mexico,
developed out of an anti-poverty commission's report released Monday.

Oh, Gawd, where to start.

1. Like good health and education don't provide their own rewards.

2. Do we only want poor people to be smart and healthy? If not, why would you limit the rewards to the poor?

3. Someone remind me again HOW the Republican wing of the Pig Party differs from the Democrat wing.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Monday, September 18, 2006

Having some problems embedding YouTubes today . . .

. . . so you'll have to go watch today's find yourself.

Governor Matty's got his knickers in a twist.

I think it's in 'Anthem.'

If not, it's in 1984 or Brave New World. Forgive me; it's been awhile since I read any of the three. I don't see any reason to read what I live through every day.

But there is a short scene in one of the three books in which a couple is interrupted during a private moment when the "secret" government surveillance camera starts shouting orders and insults at them.

UK's Daily Mail reports that we are now living inside the Brave 1984 Anthem.

The Mail on Sunday watched as a cyclist riding through a pedestrian area
was ordered to stop.

'Would the young man on the bike please get off and walk as he is riding in a pedestrian area,' came the command.

The surprised youth stopped, and looked about. A look of horror spread across his face as he realised the voice was referring to him.

He dismounted and wheeled his bike through the crowded streets, as instructed.

The watchful eyes, beneath which we are secure, now have mouths.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Friday, September 15, 2006

No eminent domain vote on MO Nov. ballot.

Why, you may ask?

Because . . . get this. The petition pages were not in sequence!

Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan's office ruled the order of
petition pages turned in were not in sequence, which made the petitions
containing over 220,000 signatures invalid.

It's not a freakin' novel, for Christsakes! You don't have to read it from beginning to end in order! There is no good reason the pages would NEED to be in sequence.

Robin Carnahan must go.

House Pig Party* members toss us a crumb.

Voting 245-171, lawmakers approved an internal rule change requiring
earmarks -- isolated and localized spending measures -- and their sponsors be
disclosed in every type of bill, the Washington Post reports.


Like all rule changes, the disclosure requirement adopted Thursday will
expire at the end of the year.

A crumb that expires at the end of the year, no less. But it's more than the Pig Party Senate has done.

*Pig Party - The political party that passes itself off as two parties, the Republicans and Democrats, both of which are quite fond of pork.

DOJ clamps down on silver-based trade medium.

ASHEVILLE — Spending stamped pieces of silver making the rounds in Western North Carolina could get you up to five years in prison.

That’s what prosecutors with the U.S. Justice Department are saying about “Liberty Dollars,” an alternative currency whose distribution is motivated by politics and profit.

But those promoting the private currency said they never called the dollars official U.S. tender and questioned whether the Justice Department’s assertion would hold up in court.


On Thursday, the U.S. Mint sent out an alert saying the dollars were illegal.

“The prosecutors have determined that using gold or silver medallions as circulating money is a federal crime,” mint spokeswoman Becky Bailey said. “By producing and promoting these as circulating money they are abetting a crime.”

In 2004, officials with the local Better Business Bureau and the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing said they saw nothing wrong with the currency since individuals are free to barter for goods or services.


As an associate of the Liberty Dollar company, Innes gets the dollars at a discounted price and can give them to businesses at a discount. He said he explains that the dollars are not official currency and maintains a Web site of participating businesses.

The point of the currency, he said is to have a “real” thing such as silver to exchange for goods and services, instead of Federal Reserve notes, such as dollar bills, that are based on U.S. debt. Unlike notes, silver is not subject to dramatic inflationary changes, he said. He questioned whether a judge would rule in the Justice Department’s favor and why prosecutors had taken an interest.

“Who knows what their motivation is,” Innes said. “It might just be the competition.”

I can trade an hours worth of work for a chicken, then trade the chicken for a sixpack of beer. Why can't a substitute a silver token for the chicken?

What if instead of a silver token, it was a piece of paper marked "Camel Cash" or "Marlboro Miles"?

Early retirement plan.

So I'm in my late 30's and don't even have a savings account. I'm halfway to retirement age and haven't even begun planning for it.

Not to worry.

Can drinking booze make you rich?

That’s what a pair of economists are saying in a new study that reports alcohol drinkers of both genders earn 10 to 14 percent more than non-drinkers. Moreover, the economists say men who frequent bars at least once a month earn an additional 7 percent on top of the "10 percent drinkers’ premium."

I should be a millionaire by age 40.

Except that there already IS one.

New for-profit liberal-arts college gains authority to operate.

Virginia's higher-education commission has granted operating authority to
Founders College, a private, for-profit school whose owners are buying an
1,100-acre estate in Campbell County near Lynchburg for its campus.


Gary Hull, director of the Program on Values and Ethics in the Marketplace
at Duke University, will be the college's chairman and chief executive and will
serve on the faculty. Another planned Founders faculty member is Eric Daniels, a
visiting assistant professor in the Duke program. They are followers of the
writings of novelist-philosopher Ayn Rand and objectivism, which embraces
"rational individualism" and laissez-faire capitalism and rejects altruism and

Hull and Daniels also are affiliated with the Ayn Rand Institute, which
states on its Web site: "The major battleground in this fight for reason and
capitalism is the educational institutions — high schools and above all, the
universities, where students learn the ideas that shape their lives."

[But don't get too excited, Randroids.]

Hull said that while objectivism is part of his own philosophy, he denies
the school will be an objectivist university.

"I have my own personal convictions, but as a professional we leave them at the door," Hull said.

Great idea. Not perfect, as evidenced by the "It will not be an objectivist university" line, but a great idea.

But when I google "Founder's College," I find that there already is one. (The new one's site is here, if you're interested.)

I have enough problems keeping up with the Universities of Miamis (here and here, but not here)and the USCs, which wreak havoc on my football picks (here and here.)

So, copyright and intellectual property considerations aside, two Founders Colleges would be confusing.

Patrick Henry University, perhaps? Or Ragnar Danneskjold College? Or maybe Nat Taggart U.?

Why not 'fnord'?

Xena becomes Eris.

JR "Bob" Dobbs has thus far not commented on the development.

Torn between two post titles.

What do you think, minions? Which would be a better title for a comment on an article with the headline Man needed surgery after sex with hedgehog?

You have two options:

A. It's bad when real news stories are more outlandish than those in The Onion.


B. But I thought Ron Jeremy only did straight porn?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'm not even gonna tell you.

You have to see it for yourself.

Either John Kerry can't count or . . .

. . . the Swift Boat Vets have one collective rear-end between them all.

From this article:
“I’m prepared to kick their ass [sic] from one end of America to the other,” he declares.

It seems that even Ivy League education cannot cure the pathologically stupid. I wonder if he rode the "special bus" to Yale.

Good thing he married into money or we'd have another lifelong member of the welfare class.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

CNN's legal banshee Nancy Grace drives mother of kidnapped child to suicide.

Can't wait 'til the shrill, arrogant hag gets the Jenny Jones treatment.

The bastards!

First, they deplanetize Pluto.

Then, they strip it of it's name.

Since the reason for stripping Pluto of it's name is that it is a "dwarf planet," should we not strip dwarf humans of their names also?

Even asteroids get names.

But Pluto doesn't. Pluto gets a number.


Which, coincidentally, are the erect penis measurements of the six most well-endowed members of the International Astronomical Union.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What happens when you combine 'Anaconda' and 'Deliverance'?

Janet Huckabee Feels Their Pain with faux homelessness.

It seems there are TWO wannabe liberals in the Huckabee marriage.

Can you think of ANY idea that reeks of style-over-substance limosine liberalism more than Fantasy Homeless Camp?

Yeah, Janet. Spending the night under a bridge, after filling your stomach, knowing that at any point, you have the choice to get up and return to your mansion, really gives you a deep understanding of the lives of homeless people. And I'm sure that if some callous person walked by and saw you pretending to be homeless, his heart would be softened and he would be more giving. Yeah, that's exactly what would happen.

In Bizarro World.

Tell me, Janet. Did you take hallucinatory drugs to accurately sample the psychotic mental state that many homeless people suffer? Did your clothes reek of urine, sweat, dirt, and vomit? Did you spiral into the abyss of depression knowing that this was going to be the rest of your life?

Because if you didn't, you didn't sample homelessness. You went camping.

Another stunt like this, and I'll be changing your name to Hanoi Janet.

Dramatic re-creation of actual sign I witnessed.

Yes, I'm submitting it to This Is Broken.

I am SUCH a nerdmuffin.

So I'm skimming through Popular Science yesterday, which in and of itself is evidence of my nerdmuffiness.

But the three things that most piqued my interest leave no doubt.

1. A brief mention of the Automotive X Prize (Older, more detailed article here. New one's not on site yet.)

2. On Page 81, I geeked on one of those Nerd Hypotheticals. What would the inside of an invisibility cloak look like? Answer: Sorry, Trekkies: The show gets it wrong. It would be dark, unless there's a light source inside. And if that's the case, who knows? Maybe a better question would be, what would the outside of a cloaked object in a dark room look like if there IS a light source inside?

3. And this one is proof positive of my incurable nerditude. I laughed out loud until my sides hurt at this:

There's a similar, but fatalistically funny one in the This Is Broken archives here.

Your move, C4G and Laffey.

Laffey lost.

Good. Serves him right. But all is not lost for him. Now he has the opportunity to repair the damage his own words have done to his image before the next election. If (and that's a big 'if') he makes an honest effort to demonstrate that he no longer advocates assaulting gay people, he might be able to gain some votes before the next election.

So what does the Club For Growth do about the race now? If they truly believe that Chafee must go, then they will now pour as many resources into building the Libertarian Party of Rhode Island as they would have poured into the candidacy of Laffey.

You want to know the worst part . . .

. . . of my reaction to this article?

Appeal rejected for skinning, cooking partner
September 11, 2006 09:47am

A WOMAN who stabbed her de facto husband to death before skinning him and making a meal for his children out of his body parts has lost an appeal against the severity of her life sentence.


Knight stabbed 44-year-old Mr Price 37 times with a butcher's knife before skinning him and hanging his hide from a meat hook in their lounge room on February 29, 2000.

She then decapitated him and put his head in a pot on the stove, baked flesh from his buttocks and cooked vegetables and gravy as side dishes to serve to Mr Price's children.

My biggest question was "Do husbands come in 'de facto' now?"

[H/T 2 brainhop.]

Observation of the day. Yesterday, actually.

"I have come to the conclusion that other people suck." -- John Hutchison, 9/12/06, exiting Wal-Mart with his mother.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ishtar-like plunge.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me...

No posts tomorrow.

Doctor's appointment.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

You won't be forgotten, Sirius.

No, I'm not equating a dog with a person.

It's just too hard, even five years later, for me to get my head around the deaths of 3000 people.

But I can fully grasp and mourn the death of one dog.

One very good dog.

Some people say only people are allowed into Heaven. I don't know if that's true.

But I DO know that if it is, and if God is just, in this case, He'll make an exception.

I once described "OUT" magazine as . . .

. . . "People for queers." I did this to differentiate OUT from The Advocate ("TIME for queers") to one of my straight friends.

If OUT is People for queers, then A Bear's Life is OUT for bears.

I got my first issue a couple of days ago, and it's actually pretty good. It needs a little fine tuning; a couple of the articles read like high-school writing assignments, but it's good to have a magazine featuring people I can relate to. (Are you reading this, Eurotwink-filled GENRE magazine?)

There's a large community of gay men out there who'd rather watch football or NASCAR than Barbra or Liza. We'd rather change our oil than arrange flowers. We don't wear Hugo Boss suits or polymer pants -- we wear t-shirts, flannel and blue jeans (ABL offers helpful tips on how to look good in jeans, in fact. If you have an ample posterior, a condition rampant in the bear community, get jeans that have large back pockets.) We barbecue; we don't "entertain."

At 18 bucks for 4 issues (a year's worth), it is a little pricey for what you get, but it's worth it.

And don't worry, there's no pecker shots, so you can read it in public.

FWIW: I just discovered a guy I long ago had an email friendship with, Anthony Lordi, is one of the columnists. I think it's the same Anthony Lordi anyway. My Anthony was a weightlifter. This one's little profile doesn't list weightlifting, but does mention the Scottish games.

Alex wasn't the only Randian superhero in the Keaton household.

Here's a Family Ties flashback for you:

Steven Keaton: [walks into the kitchen.] What's this?
Elyse Keaton: Andrew drew it. It's a picture of a dog. I told him that he couldn't have a dog because Mallory is allergic to dogs.
Steven Keaton: What's this?
Elyse Keaton: It's a picture of Mallory moving away.

Keaton/Keaton in '08. No, not Mallory, Jennifer, Steven or Elyse. We'll have to amend the Constitution first, so Andrew can serve as veep, but it can be done!

Friday, September 08, 2006

"This is my rifle; this is my gun!"

If "fired his gun" was a euphemism, then this:

Man's Gun Fires in Wal-Mart Bathroom

wouldn't be news. It happens more often than polite society would like to believe. Often, with more than one gun firing.

But, in this case, the literal meaning is the correct one.
[H/T 2 Buzzpage.]

When they capture your side's flag, that means they win, right?

Apparently, the Squirrell Revolution is over.

And we lost.

Prepare for a life of nut-gathering slavery under the lashes of our new, bushy-tailed masters.

[H/T 2 Buzzpage.]

Sandy "Stickypants" Berger gets his panties in a wad.

Apparently, he's upset that ABC didn't let him shove the final draft of the script down his pants.

And he's apparently unaware that dramas aren't real. I wonder how many calls he's placed to ABC demanding that someone send rescuers to get those plane crash survivors off that island.

Oh, wait. This is the Clinton Administration we're talking about. To them, there IS no difference between fantasy and reality, between perception and actuality, and between desire and truth.

Two Reasons I Believe The Cold War Never Ended;

The front lines simply moved here to America. And the enemy is entrenched in our own society.

1. Compulsory redistribution of school supplies.

In her communication, my cousin notified me of the customary confiscation
decree and of her frustration at being told its her responsibility to provide
for everyone else’s offspring as well as her own.


Instead of having to endure hectic back to school sales in pursuit of
classroom paraphernalia, parents could have surrendered $30.00 per child to
endow educators to acquire the needed supplies. Instead of falling for this wily
plea, my cousin decided to obtain the scholastic accoutrements on her

Much to her surprise, her grand total came to $35.00. The shock did not
stem from the total exceeding the figure tabulated by the school system but from
the fact she was buying for three children.

There's another example here. Sadly, neither article identifies the schools.

The Lars Larson Show originally tipped me off to this. I don't normally listen to Larson because for some reason my AM station that carries him has decided that right in the middle of his program, sometimes right in the middle of his sentences, is a good time to end their broadcast day abruptly and without warning. Besides, that time of day I'm usually watching ESPN.

2. Not to be outdone by the leftists running the welfare schools, the Right's own Nanny Huckabee comes up with a notion straight out of "God is the State; the State is God" Land. He actually draws a moral equivalency between paying income taxes and tithing to the Church.

The Republican preacher-turned politician compares the idea to the biblical concept of tithing, or giving 10% of one's income to the church. Huckabee says a flat income tax, like a tithe, would be proportionate to each person's income,
and therefore more equitable.

TANGENT: Surprisingly, I don't see anywhere where the Club For Growth has picked this up. They usually don't miss a chance to rip on Nanny Huckabee. But then again, I've lost a lot of respect for the C4G since they've kept Steve Laffey as one of their "Recommended Candidates" even after it was revealed that Laffey either is pro-gay-bashing or finds gay-bashing funny. Yeah, Chaffee's no peach, but as far as I know, he doesn't advocate breaking the ribs of people like me. The C4G should have taken a principled stand and withdrawn their recommendation when this came out. That they didn't lumps them in with all the other hate groups.

Say it with sheep poop.

So much for my mad prognosticatin' skilz.

I picked Miami over Pittsburgh. Even weighed it at 31 (out of 31).

I suck.

I'm tempted to quit before I totally embarrass myself.

But on the bright side, it got me interested in football again. I actually made it through a whole game for the first time since circa 1997. I listened more than watched, though, because beer and Front Page Sports Football Pro '96 were happening in the other room.

I haven't abandoned you, my minions.

Goodness, but it must seem like a long time since I've posted.

I actually *did* put up a couple of posts Wednesday. One dealt with Katie Couric's first administration of a Colonoscopy of News over on the See B.S. Network. The other observed that Suri Cruise looks remarkably like Derek Zoolander and suggested Tom get a paternity test.

But apparently Blogger did what Blogger sometimes does and kidnapped them.

They usually float around out there in the ether for a while before being regurgitated and appearing on the blog.

Maybe that'll happen.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

It's not supposed to start yet.

The Darkness isn't supposed to come until after the days start getting shorter than the nights. But it started yesterday. Not bad yet, but noticable.

I think it had something to do with the white sky leaching all the colors out of everything. There was this sort of haze/cloud cover that made the sky a wintery white. It was depressing.

In any event, it put me in a mood.

Brew up a pot of coffee and fasten your seatbelts, my minions. It's gonna be a long winter.


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