The Arkanssouri Blog.: 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

With candidates dropping out like flies . . .

... I must take a moment to urge Dr. Paul to hang in there another week.

If he dropped out, I would have to exercise my right not to vote.

Because the alternatives are immensely unacceptable.

On one side, we have three two socialists, and I wonder why we spent 40 years, untold lives, and billions if not trillions of dollars fighting the Cold War to keep socialism from taking over the world if we're just going to put a socialist in the White House.

And on the other side, we'd have the guy who purged Times Square of THE GAYS so he could Disnify it (at least we do until he drops out today), and we'd have Senator McCain-Feingold, and we'd have Governor "I'm for freedom unless it's the freedom to do things I'm against" Nanny Huckabee and of course we'd have Mitt "I was for gay people before I was against them" Romney of the Global Database Cult.

Or I could choose from a list of Libertarians I have at best BARELY heard of. I suppose I could write in Chief Wana Dubie.

So hang in there, Dr. Paul.


Song of the Day: Funeral Dirge for the John Edwards Campaign.

John Edwards out of the race.

Here's one for Rudy too. Nice disastrous campaign strategy you had there, Rudy.

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Monday, January 28, 2008

Campaign shirt?

I went into Wal-Mart in West Plains determined to find a shirt "fit to campaign in," as I told my mother and aunt.

I came out with a green and white (Thayer's school colors) checkeredish collared longsleeve button up.

I also came out with a black t-shirt that says "Be nice to me or I'll sic my ninja monkeys on you" with corresponding art of three ninja monkey stick figures.

I am now deciding which to campaign in.

Hillary: It depends on what the meaning of "pledge" is.

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Atomic Skylab?

Song of the Day: Indeed I Am.

I am extraordinary!

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Friday, January 25, 2008


Would it be illegal for a 38-year-old who's already graduated from high school once to enroll in the Bear Creek Middle School or the Creekside High School in Fairburn GA?

Georgia schools to pay 8th and 11th graders eight bucks an hour to attend study hall, plus bonuses.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

R has pointed out a glaring Wikipedia omission.

R noted yesterday that Ron Paul is married to Mrs. Paul, but there is no mention of that in her Wikipedia article.

And while Ron Paul's Wikipedia article mentions

Carol compiled recipes and photos from the large Paul family into a cookbook, originally for 14th district constituents. The book reached five editions and inspired a family "Recipe of the Week" on Paul's Congressional campaign website.

it does not mention Mrs. Paul's vast frozen seafood empire.

Somebody should correct that.


I suppose I should write something on the death of Heath Ledger.

A lot of gay people seem to want to put up velvet portraits of Heath Ledger in their homes, like the Hispanics do with Jesus or the urban do with John F. Kennedy, due to his performance in Brokeback Mountain.

The problem is, I liked the idea of Brokeback Mountain, but the reality of the film felt flat to me. Ledger's portrayal of Ennis Del Mar to me felt more bewildered than stoic, and there was no chemistry between Ennis and Jack Twist that I could see.

And does every "mainstream" film about gay people have to be about suffering through doubt and self-hatred in a relationship that inevitably ends in tragedy? Can't just once the gay cowboys live happily ever after? Is that too much to ask?

This may be heresy, but to me, Ledger's upcoming performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight seems much more interesting. But that's just me, and the thing with me you have to remember is that when Mary Kate Olsen's name came up in connection with the death, my first thought was "Well, of COURSE she was involved. She is, after all, a succubus."

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Blunt out.

There's gotta be something more than Matt Blunt suddenly realizing he has a family to his decision not to run for re-election.

He still reminds me of a hungover fratboy business major struggling through membership in the Junior Debate Club, though.

Song of the Day: Happy Birthday, Mr. Diamond!

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Song of the Day: Campaign Theme?

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008


So I'm cooking us some bacon this morning, as I did yesterday uneventfully.

Just as I'm leaning over the pan to stir the pieces around, a big piece of hat grease popped on my face.

If I hadn't been wearing my glasses, most of it would have hit my eyes.

I think I managed to wipe most of it off before any disfiguration, but it stings like hell.

Not a good start to the morning.

Monday, January 21, 2008

What I sent to "Hints from Heloise" today...

I have lived at my residence almost 8 years, and I'm still getting junk mail, mostly credit card offers, for a previous occupant. I've tried everything from forwarding the junk mail to contacting the companies that send it, and yet it keeps coming. How do I get it to stop, and how do I make sure such offers for me aren't being sent to my old addresses? It feels like identity theft waiting to happen.

Ron Paul gets more votes than Hillary in NV caucuses.

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That's OFFICER Welfare Queen to you!

A mother of five, [Corrections Officer Rannie] Miles had collected welfare benefits since 2002. The indictment charges that after she was hired as a corrections officer in April 2007, Miles never notified HRA that she had gotten the job earning a $26,000 annual salary, nor that her salary had been increased to $36,000 in August. The indictment also charges that she continued to collect benefits totaling $10,780, from the time she was hired, through November 2.

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She wasn't happy with . . .

. . . the reward she got for breaking up with her husband. Apparently she thought she should keep getting it after reconciling with him.

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Song of the Day: Say goodbye to Admiral Grove.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

People can quit Searching for Bobby Fischer.

He gone.


Notable passing.

Stoners across America are despondent as news of the death of Wham-O co-founder Richard Knerr spreads.

Frisbee tossing will never be the same.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ron Paul in Michigan almost beats Rudy & Fred combined.



State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles . . .

Set aside the notion that replicas of animal genitalia are not as offensive as replicas of human genitalia for a moment and ponder the following . . .

Those things are actual replicas? To scale?

Couple that information with this:

[T]hey are now sold in larger, more offensive versions. Some are certainly large enough to be noticeable--the biggest ones from the site Spruill researched weigh more than 2 pounds.

It would surprise everyone if the model from which the mold was made turned out to be Richard Simmons.

But it's more likely Rick Astley.

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Bonus Song of the Day: Sidney Blumenthal's Theme.

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No taxation without defecation.

God, I hope Congress doesn't watch WZZM13.

Because I don't think any of them have thought of a poop tax yet and I don't want them getting any ideas.

"I think the 435 that turned out didn't like the poop tax," Hubka said . . .

ASIDE: Speaking of poop . . . Ewwww!


Another synapse misfire.

Know what popped into my mind when I read this headline -- "Meat company recalls beef after 5 illnesses reported in Wisconsin"?

Ronald Reagan answering questions with "I don't recall."

Were they nostalgic about the beef as they traipsed through old memories of it?

Sometimes I am retarded.

Brad Renfro, RIP.

I the excellent movie Sleepers (which is in my top 10, by the way), he grew up to be Brad Pitt.

In real life, things didn't work out so well.


I didn't know that was an option.

Bush declares himself exempt from court ruling and therefore checks and balances.

I hereby determine that the COMPTUEX and JTFEX, including the use of
mid- frequency active sonar in these exercises, are in the paramount
interest of the United States. Compliance with section 1456(c)(1)(A) would
undermine the Navy's ability to conduct realistic training exercises that
are necessary to ensure the combat effectiveness of carrier and
expeditionary strike groups. This exemption will enable the Navy to train
effectively and to certify carrier and expeditionary strike groups for
deployment in support of worldwide operational and combat activities, which
are essential to national security.


I hereby exempt myself from all laws with which I do not agree.

Alien Dogfight?

Dozens report witnessing military aircraft engaging UFO over Texas.

"People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it's the end of times," said local business owner and pilot Steve Allen. "It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts."

Allen described the UFO as being a mile long, a half-mile wide, with several bright lights and eerily quiet. That matches accounts by other residents, some of whom add it was being trailed by fighter aircraft.

UPDATE: NBC5i has (not great) video.

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To quote the great sage Rush Limbaugh . . .


"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children [Blogger's note: It's not just children]. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."

This is easily demonstrated by looking at the abysmal sales figures at McDonald's despite superior food quality.

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Song of the Day: The John Edwards Song.

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Monday, January 14, 2008

Senator Ratchet Endorses Obama.

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Speaking of Jesus . . .

. . . has anyone else heard the story of Jesus throwing someone (maybe a child) off of a roof so He could resurrect him? If so, where can I find it?

'Cuz it would come in handy the next time I see one of those "Who would Jesus torture?" signs.

Or am I imagining the whole thing (which sometimes happens)?

If that's the case, I won't have been this disillusioned since that time I found out my entire existence was confined within a snowglobe belonging to an autistic child.

If Jesus was a reef shark . . .

. . . who would It eat?

Little Bum Doesn't Get It Done.

Clinton Adviser: "I'm nawt drunk, Ossifer!"

[Sidney] Blumenthal, an unpaid senior adviser to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, was arrested in Nashua on the eve of the New Hampshire primary and charged with aggravated DWI, according two members of the Nashua police force.


(The Clinton campaign declined comment on the arrest and whether it would affect Blumenthal's status as an adviser.)

You have to wonder what kind of person attracts drunks and thieving traitors?


St. Charles backs down...

... but replaces the cursing ban with something worse.

The proposed ordinance now includes new provisions to the city's code, such as bans on below-cost drink sales and dancing on bars or tables.

Is it a legitimate government function to demand that business owners make a profit on every item sold?

But doesn't the Left tell us that profits are evil and greed is bad?

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Before you read this . . .

. . . let me remind you that before the city of Houston TX got too smug in dealing with "them queers," all sexually-active gay people were sexual offenders.

And an 18-year-old boy who doesn't stop having sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend when he turns 18 is also a sex offender.

In fact, in some states, if a 16-year-old girl rapes a 14-year-old boy, the boy is a sex offender.

Now, on to the story:

The aptly-named Liberal MO is seeking to ban sex offenders from public parks.

Engler’s bill — Senate Bill 758 — would prohibit sexual offenders from going to state parks and historic sites. In its original form, the bill would have required certain sexual offenders to ask permission or to notify the site superintendent, but language is being prepared that would ban certain sexual offenders from state parks entirely.

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Song of the Day: The Obama Song.

This used to be the Bill Clinton Song. Now it has been passed on to a new generation.

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Women want me; men fear me.

Their fear, of course, does not stop them from wanting me too.

Because I got a kickass haircut yesterday and look DAMN sexy!

Avert thine eyes, lest ye get a boner in your pants.

I'll try to get a pic sometime when the lighting's better.

Can a whole city be a douchebag?

Still think the idea of Big Brother standing in your bedroom watching you is hyperbole?

The City of Duncanville [TX] wants a judge to order Jim Trulock to stop weekend sex parties at his home.

John Kerry is an opportunistic oaf.

Let's see. John Edwards was good enough to be your vice president, but he's not good enough to be President. What happened? Was there a big bitchfight?

So, okay, you can't support your ex-bf, Senator.

So how about a fellow Massachusetts flip-flopper such as Mitt Romney?


Looks like that one chick's not the only one who's got a crush on Obama.

The elitist sneer never truly leaves Kerry's face. He thinks we commonfolk are too stupid to see this for the tactic that it is, when it's as transparent as the crocodile tears running down Hillary's face. Kerry has joined People For What (He Thinks) Is About To Happen, and he's angling for the V.P. slot.

Not gonna work. Even if Obama gets the nomination, he's too smart to partner with one of the apple trees from the Wizard of Oz.

ASIDE: Why does the apple tree talk like Sling Blade?

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Song of the Day: Larry Craig's Theme.

Speaking of Larry, he seems to be dropping the "I'm not gay; I never have been gay" defense and switching to a "Hitting on someone is free speech" defense, coupled with a "Who's peace, exactly, was disturbed?" defense.

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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Once in awhile, I do these things called "Little Revolutions."

Whether it's hiding Karl Marx books behind the others in the library, or writing "Who is Ron Paul?" in chalk on a park sidewalk or turning down the air conditioner to keep the utility company from getting a few more cents, I do little things to oppose the encroachment of growing government on our individual liberties and pocketbooks.

This next one may be so small as to be called a "Micro Revolution."

For several years, I've noticed that by manipulating the dates that electric and water meters are read, the City of Thayer Utilities Department can and perhaps does get more money out of ratepayers than it should. (I would explain how, but it's complicated. UPDATE: I did explain it [badly] once, here.)

Until last April, there was absolutely nothing that could be done about it. But with a new crop of aldermen and a new mayor came an opportunity to do something the previous council had vigorously opposed -- a city audit.

The morning after a bid was approved for the audit, the company that was selected got an email pointing out the possibility of reading manipulation.

Last night at the city council meeting, the auditor brought it up to the council and the council agreed that meters should be read on the same day every month.

It may not add up to more than a few dollars every month, but those are MY dollars, not the city's.

La Resistance lives on.


If the truth was that Roger Clemens had used steroids, would Roger have told his accuser to come out and tell the truth?

McNamee: No, you treated me better. You treated me like family. From day one I was family to you, and you treated me like that. You know, I'm glad to hear your voice. I just - you know, I don't believe that, you know, it is, whatever. I just - the bottom line is I'm glad to hear your voice. I'm sorry that your family is going through this. And I'll do whatever I can do to help.

Clemens: You just need to come out and tell the truth.

And why was it that immediately after the tape was played, sports talking heads (such as those on PTI) were saying that this tape made the Rocket seem more believable, but by the next morning, they were almost unanimously insisting it made him look guilty? Did a memo go out from the central offices of the sportswriters union?


Eminem hospitalized.

Was it really pneumonia, or is that the cover story because it was that Rod Stewart/Mick Jagger/David Bowie thing?

Either way, I hope he had to get his spongebaths from a Big Gay Man Nurse.

Titan notes: Time to trade Young?

A football team needs a quarterback that players believe in, someone who when you're down 34-17 at the half, your guys honestly believe can lead you back to victory. Someone who can pull a rabbit out of a hat. Someone who you can count on to make the needed play.

If he can't, it doesn't mean he's a bad player. It may mean the chemistry's all wrong.

Just because a piece doesn't fit doesn't mean it's a bad piece. It may just belong to a different puzzle.

Confidence. Attitude. Dependability. Maybe even swagger.

With the Titans, are these the qualities that Vince exudes? If not, maybe he needs to go somewhere that can play to his strengths. And who knows, maybe he'll wind up somewhere where the pieces fit. And if that's the case, who knows what sort of success will Vince foster?

Douchebag of the Month nominee: Richard Velt.

St. Charles MO City Councilman seeks to make bars safe for pussies.

A St. Louis-area town is considering a bill that would ban swearing in bars, along with table-dancing, drinking contests and profane music.

If this passes, who wants to roadtrip to St. Charles, enter a bar, and read 1 Kings 16:11 out loud? How about Ezekiel 4:15? Or 2 Samuel 3:14? I DARE them to arrest me on that.

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New Hampshire Notes.

1. Any state that prefers a big-government neosocialist and a big-government pseudoconservative ought to have a restraining order issued against them, barring them from using the slogan "Live Free Or Die." I do believe in truth in advertising, after all.

2. When will men finally get a clue and stop rewarding women for turning on the waterworks whenever they're losing? It is a ploy, a strategy, a manipulation. Crying doesn't make you right. It just makes you wet.

3. Proof yet again that polls are useless.

4. How many of the "independents" that voted for Hillary are really Republicans who would rather not face Obama in the fall?

5. Damn that Obama guy can preach! Jesse and Nannny Huckabee and Reverend Al should take lessons from him.

6. Ron Paul's still got twice as many delegates as Rudy.

7. What was the point of that whole Free State Project thing again?

8. There's something about Romney. The next time you see him, ask yourself -- doesn't his body language and cadence bring to mind how a space alien would act if he was trying to impersonate a human being?

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Song of the Day: Hillary Clinton's Theme.

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Monday, January 07, 2008

Note to Wal-Mart:

I really am not interested in finding out what David Beckham smells like intimately.

For the record, FOX is Channel 5 on my cable . . .

. . . and Channel 5 is now blocked.

It will remain blocked until Fox hosts another Republican debate and allows Ron Paul to participate.

They let 4% Rudy in, but not 10% Ron.

On Bizarro World, that is "fair and balanced."

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The moment is now.

All right, Free Staters, this is your chance. The rest of the country is counting on you.

When you began, you said a small group of people could make a difference.

The time to make that difference is now.

Don't blow it.

Deliver the Live Free Or Die state for Ron Paul.

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Song of the Day: Bill Clinton's Theme.

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Gummint Cheese: 1/7/08

Click pic to embiggen.


Don't take it from me; take it from THEM.

Click pic to enlarge.

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Friday, January 04, 2008

Sarah Brady says this is impossible.

Armed Store Customer Foils Armed Holdup.

While the suspect demanded cash from workers, Merrell pulled his own handgun, pointed it at the robber and ordered him to put down his weapon, the report said. After a moment the suspect placed his gun and the cash on the counter, removed his mask and lay on the floor. Merrell held him at gunpoint Monday until police arrived and arrested the suspect.

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In Hillaryspeak, this is "generosity."

When Person A forces Person B to give something to Person C, the Left describes Person A as "generous" or "caring" or some other warm and fuzzy concept. Then they give you a blank stare when you ask them how generous or caring they were to person B.

See Hillary's Xmas campaign ad, for example, where she doles out expensive government programs as "presents." She is Person A, the recipient is Person C, and Hillary has stolen the presents from you, the taxpayer, who is Person B.

You'll find from time to time in this blog I point out Randian Superheroes, people who embody the ideals of Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism.

The following bitch is what could be called a Clintonian Superhero.

The holidays were sad enough for Kim Velevis and her husband after their lovable pug "Scooter" dug its way out of the backyard and disappeared on Christmas Eve. But the real blow came with the new year: A letter from an anonymous woman who had found the friendly dog and gave it to her daughter as a Christmas present.

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Song of the Day: Will you return it?

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Ominous Signs for Talk Radio Fans in Thayer?

Let me begin with the observation that Thayer seems to be in some sort of AM Radio dead zone. Most radios here won't pick up anything during the daytime except the local talk radio station. We can't even get the station out of West Plains, which is only about 20 miles away.

That hasn't been a problem, since the West Plains station and the local Thayer station have been owned by the same people for years and broadcast the same thing.

On January first, the Thayer talk radio station was sold, as was K-kountry 95, the FM country station in Thayer.

This morning, the Thayer AM station was simulcasting the feed from the FM country station.

How much sense does THAT make? Is there ANYONE out there who would rather listen to music on AM radio than on stereo FM? Is there anyone out there who still owns an AM, but not an FM radio?

Let's hope it's not permanent. If I want Trace Adkins, I'll listen to him on FM, thank you. If I want Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity or a local politics call-in show and I live in Thayer, my only option is KALM.

At least it was.

Signs O' The Times.

From Human Events:

You never see a Ron Paul sign buried under snow. If need be, a Paul supporter will rig up a reinforced frame, a heating element and a spotlight to keep the sign well visible at all times. I wouldn’t want to try to steal a Ron Paul sign without a bulletproof vest and back up either.

Heh-heh. Christmas lights do a pretty good job of keeping signs visible at night as well, so I've heard.


I *hate* the Ted Fonda Liberal Opinion Network.

All night last night, I watched on CNN pie charts showing Nanny Huckabee, Mitt Romney, John McCain-Feingold, Fred Thompson, and "Others."

The pie charts would lead you to believe the 15% of caucus goers in the "Others" category were fairly evenly divided between Ron Paul, Rudy Giuliani, and Duncan Hunter.

It was only when you read the scrunched up tallies at the bottom of the screen that you saw that Ron Paul spent much of the night 1% or less behind Fred Thompson or John McCain-Feingold.

It seems 11% gets you your own slice of the pie chart, while 10% gets you lumped in with the "others."

I suppose I shouldn't expect any better from the Ted Fonda Liberal Opinion Network. After all, they must be products of Outcomes-Based Education, because they seem to believe Ron Paul is a Democrat.

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IRSskis planning ban on Refund Anticipation Loans.

El Sabot: 1/4/08.

Click pic to embiggen.


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

It's sad when . . .

... you get more coverage of privacy issues in Popular Mechanics than you do on network news.

I guess there's something to that whole technogeek/libertarian correlation thing after all.

P.S. The same issue contains this excellent editorial, which reminds us, among other things, that:

Police cars have dashboard cameras, cities and counties are posting red-light and speed-limit cameras, and it seems that the dream of many government officials is to put every public space under 24-hour video watch. But try shooting photos or video of police or ­other public officials as they go about their business and you might find yourself in wrist restraints.


Supporters of widespread surveillance often argue, "If you're obeying the law, you have nothing to fear." Why shouldn't the same go for police officers?

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They were doing one of those "people who died in 2007" montages . . .

... and I'm pretty sure "they" were either NBC or CNN.

But who they were doesn't really matter.

What matters is their bleed-through dissolve technique from shot to shot.

Because I could swear I saw Evel Knievel jump his motorcycle over Lady Bird Johnson.

Is it proper form ...

... to begin a letter with "YOU MOTHERFUCKERS:"?


I WANTED to watch the Cotton Bowl.

No, that's not entirely true.

I wanted to want to watch the Cotton Bowl.

I TRIED to want to watch the Cottom Bowl.

I even set aside half of my New Year's Eve beer stash to drink while watching the Cotton Bowl.

But try as I might, I could not get interested in the game. I dipped in three or four times and it was like watching Sewing With Nancy on the gubmint TV.

And I don't think it was because it wasn't a good game. (Although that was certainly the case).

I think I was just Over The 2007 College Football Season. The regular season ended, what, four months ago?

So my Grolsch sits in the fridge, unopened, waiting for something exciting to happen to me so I can drink it.

So I'm at the liquor store on New Year's Eve.

I want to have a couple of drinks to observe the holiday. Nothing near what I would drink on a typical evening in my early 20's mind you, just something to drink because . . .

... because why? I couldn't really answer that.

It had something to do with that being what one is SUPPOSED to do on NYE.

I hadn't had any beer at all since Thanksgiving, when Uncle Pete gave me a Miller. And before that had been sometime in early summer, I think, when I drank a six pack of Shiner over the course of a couple of weeks.

Jim Beam; that's another story. I still enjoy a good Beam & Coke (or Beam & Root Beer, mmmmmmm......) a little more often than that, but as for beer, my interest in that gets less and less the older I get.

Shiner sounded good, though. I think more because it reminds me of Houston than because of the taste.

But I didn't want to deal with bottles. I wanted something I could crush and throw in the aluminum can bag and not have to deal with the bulk and annoying clink of bottles in the trash. I wandered aimlessly around the store a couple of times before the cashier asked if she could help me.

"Do you have Shiner Bock in cans?" I asked.

"Nope, just bottles," she replied.

I didn't want bottles.

But none of the other beers in cans seemed particularly appealing at that moment.

So I picked out a couple of 16-oz. bottles of Grolsch and headed to the checkout.

"So you switched to Grolsch, huh?" the cashier asked.

"Yeah. If I have to have bottles, it may as well be pretty bottles."

What's the little British saying?

No, not "Queer As Folk"; the other one.

'Cause I need it to describe Nanny Huckabee's little "I don't want anyone to see this, so I'm gonna show it to you" moment.

Oh, yeah.

Too Cute By Half.

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Song of the Day: STartin' Up A Brand New Day.

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