The Child Star Syndrome strikes again.

Some people call it the "Different Strokes" syndrome. I don't, because that would tar Gary Coleman with the same brush that tars Todd Bridges and Dana Plato. It seems to me Gary has a pretty good head on his shoulders. It was the people around him, the people who were supposed to be taking care of him, that had seriously f--ed-up priorities.

This morning we find that half of Michelle Tanner, Mary Kate Olsen, has checked herself in for anorexia. These days, she and her sister are famous for being famous instead of for anything they do. I mean, honestly, does anyone GO to any of their movies?

It must be rough at age 18 knowing your most successful days are behind you. It must be rough being purposeless and under the intense media glare at the same time. It must be rough having men three times your age commenting on your hotness in increasing proportion to your thinness.

A few weeks ago, while channel surfing, I came across the Olsen twins on some talk show. Maybe it was Jon Stewart. Whatever it was, I noticed that when asked a question, there was a small delay before either one would answer, as if their modems were of insufficient baud to handle the [ahem] massive datastream the host was throwing at them.

I tried to keep in mind that at age 18, the two do not have the life experience to have the intellectual depth of someone a few years older, that they don't quite get context and nuance yet. And in a life that is both insulated from and exposed to the normal world, it would be a long time before they ever GOT that life experience, if ever. But the nagging thought in the back of my mind was that there was something wrong with them. Both of them.

Parents, take heed. Never EVER make a child responsible for being the primary breadwinner for a family. Odds are, you're destroying them if you do.