I'm not George Lucas . . .

. . . so there won't be any of this "begin at Episode 4" nonsense. I shall begin where one SHOULD begin, at the beginning.

I am in an office, working late, alone. Only it shifts depending on the angle you look at it. Sometimes it's an office. Sometimes it's the library. Sometimes it's a public restroom with grafitti on the walls of the stalls that I can't read. I have turned off all the lights except for one.

They walk in, unaware that I am still there. They are some sort of secret cabal, all dressed in Middle Management Wear. They do not come out in the daytime. They exist in the shadows. They sneak into businesses when they are closed and have secret meetings. This meeting is only one of thousands that go on every night in businesses all across the country. They are the Illuminati. They are the Shadow Government.

They make their way into a conference room, still unaware I am there. I have a feeling that even if they looked at me, they would not see me. I am irrelevant to their plans. One of the last ones in looks familiar. From behind, I see that he is dressed in slacks and a blue oxford shirt. Though I cannot see it, I know that he is wearing a yellow tie. I despise ties.

I have never in my lifetime seen him dress like that, but I know who he is. He is my high-school friend Max. Only he still looks like he did then. He is Agent Max.

My dog is poking me with his toenails. I wake up and adjust so that he is no longer poking me with his toenails. I roll over and fall back asleep.

At least this time the adventure didn't combine my sex hangups, my food hangups, my money hangups, and my mother hangups all into one neat little package.