Good for the gooser, good for the goosed.
Some people wonder why I use such terms as "boyfriend-equivalent" when referring to a man's girlfriend, or "her wife" when referring to a woman's husband.
It's an attempt to hold the heterosexual community to the same standard that it holds the gay community. Too often the straight community tries to set it's own standards as the "default." Why do erectile dysfunction commercials (and almost every other commercial featuring a couple) always feature m/f couples and never m/m couples? Why do telemarketers ask to speak to my wife?
Straight people, intentionally or not, say things like "Which one's the woman?" (Answer: Neither, they're both men. Duh!) and "They're gay together." Would they say "They're black together," or "They're Christian together," or "They're heterosexual together?" I doubt it.
I see it as an attempt to assert that straightdom is the CORRECT state of being. Which would mean, by definition, that there's something wrong with homosexuality. And there's not.
So I hold the straights to the same absurd assumptions that they hold me to.
And as for why that seems to always fall on poor Miss Callie (Maybe I should start calling her "Mister Callie"?), I know Kevin and Callie won't get offended because they both already know I am a goofball, and that it is a statement on the attitude of the straight community, not on Kevin or Callie. They are my friends, and right now they are my only friends that are in a boyfriend-equivalent/girlfriend-equivalent relationship where I'm reasonably familiar with both people.
Mr. Tyra is chronically single. Mr. Rhodemyre is married, but he and I don't really talk a lot. We just check in on each other every few months. Mr. Hanna, from what I gather, is married, but I don't know anything about his husband-equivalent, so I have nothing to write about her. So that leaves Miss Kevin and Mister Callie.
posted by The Last American at 8:37:00 AM
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3 Comments:
"Why do erectile dysfunction commercials (and almost every other commercial featuring a couple) always feature m/f couples and never m/m couples? "
They're targeting a market and that market is heterosexual couples in their 40s and 50s. Using male-male couples wouldn't achieve anything and most corporations aren't willing to waste their ad budget to make a political statement. If I were going to tout any product to such a small percentage of the population (gay males in the their 40s and 50s), I wouldn't use network TV.
"Why do telemarketers ask to speak to my wife?"
It's a matter of averages. Again, they're targeting a market, married women. If a man answers the phone, they know he isn't their target, but there's a reasonable chance he might be married, so they ask. In sales, it's about asking the question enough times to get to "Yes." Again, it's got nothing to do with politics.
"Straight people, intentionally or not, say things like 'Which one's the woman?'"
That's a crude attempt at sexual humor. Some people say crass things. The same people make crude sexual comments about straight sex. I've never met a dirty joker who limited himself to making fun of gays.
"They're gay together."
Just an inept way of saying, "They're lovers." The kind of blue-hairs that say things like "They're gay together" also say of heterosexual unmarried couples, "They're shacked up" or "they're living in sin." I suppose you could take offense at the distinction between types of living in sin, but they're really equal opportunity prudes.
"I see it as an attempt to assert that straightdom is the CORRECT state of being." Perhaps it's simply that it's the COMMON state of being and, of course, people are most comfortable with what's most familiar. That people are inept at dealing with the unfamiliar shouldn't be surprising.
If their default gets to be set at assuming I am straight, I am simply setting my own default at assuming they are gay.
You're free to set it anyway you like, but theirs is a rational cost- reducing/profit-maximizing decision while yours is just a response to a lack of political correctness. Hell, I don't care what you call people, as long it's not "luuuuuvvvvverrrrr" like the Will Farrell hottub sketch on SNL.
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