I may have to fire up the Puffington Host again,

just so I can update the Blogfire of the Vanities.

'Cause, you see, The Donald has his own blog now. Of course, I doubt we'll see any authenticity there, because the following just wouldn't look good:

August 12, 2005:

I'm spending much of the day looking for little old ladies whose houses I can try to steal via eminent domain. God knows, the beautiful people need more parking spaces for their limousines, you know. And just because that one bitch won her case doesn't mean I can't go after the rest of those people. We can't have the poor interfering with our fabulous, wealthy lives, now can we?

Dammit, the chauffer stocked the bar here in the stretch limo with $1500 a tin beluga caviar. Doesn't he know I demand at least $2500 quality? Can't any of these f-cking people get anything right? Why do they have to ruin my day?

Oh, look. A little girl walking a puppy. I'll quit posting for the day so I can go strangle the mutt. People like me can do that. All I have to do is bribe her parents with my pocket change to keep them from filing charges or going to the press.

Remind me to have my toupee dry-cleaned later. I spilled Grey Poupon on it during last night's martini-and-coke party after the symphony. Oh, wait. Sometimes even I forget it's not a rug.

Toodles,
The Donald.
No, wait, that's Mr. Trump to you.

[Hat tip to Techwhack News.]