Meanwhile, we discover . . .

. . . that the Knappster hasn't spent much time in Texas.

If he had, he would know that putting beans in one's chili is an affront to all that is good and moral.

The Texas definition of chili:

Chili
The main differences between Texas chili recipes and those other chili recipes is that "real" Texas chili has no beans and the main ingredient, after the meat, is chili peppers - whether chopped, diced, powdered, or liquified. Oh, and Texas chili just tastes better.

You can find a really good chili recipe here.