You might be a food addict if . . .

these are the only people who send you a birthday card:

Well, I guess I shouldn't say 'only' yet. My birthday's not until tomorrow, so there's still time I suppose for the cards to come flooding in.

But I'm not holding my breath.

And since when did the Chicken of the Sea mermaid become a bleach-blonde clone of Ariel? Didn't she used to look like this?