Weary of harassing Big Tobacco, Congress goes after Big Clove.

The committee adopted an amendment by Sen. Mike Enzi, R-Wyo., that would ban clove cigarettes, reversing a controversial decision by Kennedy to allow the FDA to make that decision.

Kennedy, the panel's chairman, said he was responding to several senators who contacted him with concerns that a ban on cloves would not be compliant with World Trade Organization rules. But Kennedy agreed to the ban after several senators objected.

Most cloves are marketed in Asia, and Philip Morris, a unit of New York-based Altria Group Inc., recently launched a Marlboro cigarette flavored with cloves in Indonesia.

Kennedy said at the meeting that Philip Morris had "nothing to do with our decision" and he supported the clove ban as long as it is WTO compliant.

Because, you know, SO MANY AMERICANS DIE FROM CLOVE POISONING EVERY YEAR! And there are all those studies that conclusively prove cloves are harmful to your health! Look out; the clovey menace will get you! It's Clove Madness, I tell you!

Sick of Big Brother and his absurd, irrational, foaming-at-the-mouth histrionics yet?

Try homegrown.

Or catnip, which kind of smells a little like marijuana.

I know what marijuana smells like only because I've seen shows about it on TV.