I'm such a good person.
Over the weekend, Dollar General was running an amazing clearance sale. $5.00 men's belts were selling for a dime apiece.
I bought twenty of them and donated them to the local Goodwill-type free store (Original $5.00 pricetags still on, of course.) The poor can't smoke, drink, or inject the belts, so I know that if they get them, it will be for some legitimate purpose, like keeping their designer jeans up.
In so doing, I earned a few brownie points with God/Santa Claus.
And in spending $2.00, I kept the government from getting more than $6.00 in the sales tax they would have gotten if the poor had to buy the belts at full price.
I did a hundred bucks worth of good for the poor for $2.00. They should put me in charge of the federal government.
Just one big ol' soft & cuddly altruistic elf; that's me!