How does Santa know if you've been bad or good?

By stealing your mail!




Me, I'm placing my faith in the Kwanzaa Bunny and the Solstice Fairy.

Every Winter Solstice, the Kwanzaa Bunny begins his long, hopping journey all over the world, breaking into toy stores and eating toys so he can poop them out in the stockings of good little boys and girls all over the world. On the 24th, he picks up the Solstice Fairy, who looks fabulous in a black and thistle ensemble, and sprinkles his fairy seed on the sleeping people to make sure they don't wake up. Those children who have been bad get a stocking full of Bunny Poop, topped off with a CD single from Jewel, which they must play every day until the next Solstice if they are to even be considered for toys that year instead of Bunny Poop.


Once they have filled the stockings, the Kwanzaa Bunny and the Solstice Fairy hop to the next house. When they are finished, they return to San Francisco, their home base, and redecorate their townhouses.


--- From Bunny Poop and Fairy Seed, page 69.