The Kwanzaa Bunny is pissed.

The Kwanzaa Bunny was going to buy presents for my friend Callie and her wife Kevin yesterday. As all good Kwanzaaians know, a present isn't a success unless the recipient is left feeling confused and a little frightened.

So the Kwanzaa Bunny planned on getting Callie a bag of the little green toy soldiers all little boys had growing up and getting Kevin some girly barrettes with butterflies or kittens on them.

But, alas. The Kwanzaa Bunny could not find any little green soldiers. There were some that were like twenty times too big and came in a package of five, but five soldiers, no matter how large, do not an army make. And those were made in Red China.

So the Kwanzaa Bunny won't be giving presents this year. He will be getting drunk instead.