The New Y2K.

SARS. The Hanta Virus. Mad Cow Disease. Ebola. West Nile. Flesh-Eating Bacteria. The Bird Flu.

The latest imminent epidemical catastrophe du jour has our government ranting like a Baghdad press spokesman who reads Soldier of Fortune:

March 13, 2006 — - In a remarkable speech over the weekend, Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt recommended that Americans start storing canned tuna and powdered milk under their beds as the prospect of a deadly bird flu outbreak approaches the United States.

Meanwhile, the Anthrax Killer's still out there.