The Arkanssouri Blog.: Ban The Sun.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Ban The Sun.

The sun kills more people each year than not wearing a seatbelt.

Sun: 60,000 annual kills.

Lack of seatbelt usage: 40,000 annual kills.

Shouldn't Congress pass legislation banning the sun? Or fund research into methods to put the murderous thing out?

What's that, you can't legislate nature? Some try. For example, Indiana once tried to legislate scientific law by redefining pi as 3.2. And I remember in the late 80's, the courts decided the value of pi was 22/7 in a billing dispute. I don't remember the specifics of the case. Perhaps Mr. Hanna does; he is who I was discussing it with. Never mind that it's inaccurate. Can't let reality get in the way of a good legal ruling, now can we?

And Glenn Beck and Pat Gray tongue-in-cheekedly suggest that to protect the good people of Houston from TV's falling on their heads, legislation should be introduced making the law of gravity more of a suggestion or guideline than a law.

BECK: ...OK, I think. TVs falling on people`s heads. What`s the seeming
epidemic in Houston?

GRAY: It`s actually been declared by a physician a public health crisis.
And we`ve had -- we`ve had probably five kids killed by falling TVs. And in the
last few months, and that`s just reported by one hospital in town. We`re not
really sure how many times it`s actually happened in the last year, but it`s
happened many times, five times at least in the last few months, and it`s gotten
to the point where people want something done. I`m not sure what`s to be done.

BECK: How about parents not putting the TVs up on shaky tables?

GRAY: You might think it`s a parental thing, but I think we`re thinking
more along the lines of governmental intervention. BECK: Oh.GRAY: Yes.BECK: So
they could fix shaky tables?

GRAY: Well, no. I think what needs to be fixed is that law of gravity.

BECK: Sure.

GRAY: Make it not so much a stringent law.

BECK: It is the law. It is the law.

GRAY: We need to make it more rule of thumb, I think. Or maybe -- maybe we
need signs in every home in America that say, "Caution, falling TVs."

BECK: Please, you know what? Let`s not even go down this road, because with
the flag burning amendment and everything else that they`re doing just for the
election, they might actually try to take on the law of gravity in Washington.

GRAY: It wouldn`t surprise me.

BECK: Pat, thanks a lot, talk to you soon.

Gravity optional? I LIKE it!

Or we COULD just ban televisions.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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