Left Roundup.

Every once in awhile, I like to check in on the left side of the blogosphere and see if they are still spending all their time bitching about the Republicans, or if they've actually come up with any ideas of their own.

Over at Studio Macaca, they discuss Forbes magazine. They breathlessly speculate about Tom Cruise's legal options. Bruce Reed engages in mentally masturbatory navel-gazing, with Rahm Emanuel as his subject. Then, of course, there's the bizarre and sublime Blogging The Bible.

"Damn that Jonathan is a hottie! Kisses like a pro, too! Oops, I exceeded all over my loincloth! Toodles, David."*

And so we move on to the Bonfire of the Inanities. They bitch about Katrina. They bitch about Plan B. They bitch about Bill Maher. They use Pluto's demotion to bitch about Bush. (I'm not kidding; here's an excerpt: "It might be worth exploring the idea of an international leadership union applying the cognate concept that world leaders, too, must meet certain universally accepted, and acceptable, standards, or face excommunication.") They use the murder of a child to make a snarky bitch about Karl Rove. They blame Plamegate for Iran. They bitch that the Republicans don't spend enough of our money. They bitch about the competitiveness of football coaches, even calling it "pathological," and people who make stupid slips-of-the-tongue.

When I began that paragraph, I intended to keep going until I found an idea. A proposal. An alternative. Something the left is FOR. But I give up. I haven't found one yet, and maybe I never will.

So I move on to The Socialized Condom Utopia, Missouri Branch. They bitch about Sandra Thomas. They bitch about Don Hinkle. They bitch some more about Sandra Thomas and seem to think they can speak for Republicans. They bitch about the adult beverage industry making political donations to Jim Talent. They bitch about the governor touching pumpkins, which they for some reason call "melons." (I'm not kidding.) They bitch some more about Republican donors. They bitch about beans. (Again, I'm not kidding.) They bitch about military readiness. They bitch about a Jane Cunningham email. They bitch once again about Thomas. They bitch about Jim Talent's ability to discuss more than one problem. They bitch about school choice. They bitch about donors going bankrupt. They point out that YouTube exists. And finally on their front page today, applaud the anti-intellectual "Snakes on a Senate."

Not a single idea, position, or proposal anywhere. Not one.

So finally we move on to Shriekers Against Americanism. I have to give them credit. They DO have an idea. On the first post I come across, even. Their idea? Have a garage sale. Then they go back to bitching. About how Bush greets Rep. Pombo. About Joe Lieberman. About Joe Lieberman again. About "America's increasingly belligerent foreign policy." About Bush. About people with delinquent children. About electronic voting. About people who turn on the lights. About the religious right. Then they ended with a little slurpfest about Surrender Ned.

I guess "surrender" is an idea. A wrong one, but an idea nonetheless.

So, there you have it. The left side of the blogosphere has a total of two ideas.

1. Surrender.
2. Have a garage sale.

*: not actually IN Blogging The Bible, but it should be.