From the Party That Brought You "Differently-Kept Promises" . . .

. . . the Jackass Party has now come up with "Differently-Kept Time."

“We decide what constitutes the 100 hours,” said Stacey Bernards, a Hoyer spokeswoman. Chiefly, Mr. Cogorno decides. It is a monumental charge.

What's the line from Reefer Madness? You know, the one about the Demon Weed causing "errors in space and time"?

So, by this logic, someone who is on lunch hour counts only the time spent in the act of EATING lunch, not the actual passage of time?

This, my friends, is magical thinking. Time passes objectively; it is not a function of the activity performed during it's passage.

This is the mindset of purple pens* and outcomes-based-education.

This is the end result of everyone being equally "special."

This is the negation of reality.

This is the refutation of reason.

This is the ruling party. And we have elected them.

God help us.


*- purple pens: n, pl. This is a reference to several school districts replacing the red pens used to grade homework with purple pens, because the color red is viewed as harsh and unpleasant by the student. What is not explored is the probability that after a few papers where wrong answers are marked in purple, purple will be associated with failure and will thus be viewed as harsh and unpleasant by the student.