Please be Iowa! PLEASE BE IOWA!!!

Meth freak, manwhore snuggler, and theocratic social conservative Ted Haggard has relocation plans:

Haggard earlier this week said he and his family plan to move to Iowa or Missouri, . . .

We don't need any more exacerbation of the meth problem here in the Show-Me State, Rev. Dubuque or Des Moines seem like really good places. Especially for people like you.