She should follow EL SABOT's example . . .

. . . and do all her pooping at the courthouse.

Then she wouldn't have any REASON to steal "their" toiletpaper, which by the way, she helped pay for.

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County
Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three
rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.

I wonder -- was it the taking it out of the storage closet, as opposed to off the little roll thingie, that made it theft?

Because the little roll thingie is there for people to take the toilet paper off of.

Who knew theft came all the way down to the fifth degree? What's sixth degree, finding a quarter on the sidewalk and picking it up, or checking the change slot on a payphone?

I will not confirm or deny rumors that I used to replenish my dorm room's TP supply from the rolls in the bathrooms of public restrooms in our residence hall during my brief stint at state college. Same thing with lightbulbs.

[The lightbulbs were actually somewhat justified. If a bulb in your dormroom blew out, you had to fill out a form and go through all this red tape and it might be a couple of weeks before you got your light on again. Whereas, if a maintenance worker spotted a blown bulb in a common area, he replaced it on the spot, saving a lot of time and expense.]