The Arkanssouri Blog.: This is just odd.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

This is just odd.

First some background. Last summer, at a family gathering at my aunt's house, my uncle's brother showed up drunk and annoying. My uncle and I, attempting to piss him off enough that he'd go home, were giving him a bunch of shit.

He kept spouting such wisdom as "A cow can't climb a tree, 'cause it don't have 'cow hooks." To which we responded, "Of course a cow can climb a tree. Haven't you seen all those cow nests in the oak trees beside the road back to your house," and "If a cow can't climb a tree, then where do they roost at night?" And "Haven't you seen all those broken limbs from cows falling out of trees?" A recent storm had spread broken limbs all over the area.

Eventually, he went home. The next day, being the smartass I am, I searched Google Images for "cow in tree." I came up with several, but none of them seemed right, so I asked Jeeves "Where can I find a picture of a cow in a tree?"
Jeeves came up with some, and I printed out several, this one among them. The next time I saw my uncle I told him "The next time Leon says a cow can't climb a tree, show him this as proof they can." I handed him this picture.

I tell you all this to bring you to this morning. When I got to Warm Fork Park this morning, I pulled into a parking space. In the next space over was a folded piece of paper. I would be walking past a garbage can anyway, so I picked it up. On one side of the paper was written "Need p***y to lick and suck." There is this one desperate guy at the park almost every day. He drives an old blue Chevy truck and leaves similar graffiti in the bathroom and on the picnic tables, but apparently has not learned that he needs to leave some way of contacting him if he wants such strategy to be successful.

But that's not really relevant. What is relevant is what was on the OTHER side of the paper. This image. Upon further examination of detail, I believe this is the actual copy I printed out almost a year ago. I had left it in my car door all this time, at some point forgetting about it.

What are the odds?

I HOPE at some point I accidentally kicked it out of my car. If I didn't, that would mean at some point this guy got IN my car and stole nothing but THIS piece of paper. Why would he do this? Examining this too closely makes my brain hurt.

[Update.] To find out if this dude's f-ing with me, I printed out this image and am putting it in the same door pocket my cow picture was in. The printout's in black and white, so it looks like his truck from both angles.
Don't f**k with the master, son.

[Update #2.] I wrote "1-800-626-6328" below the picture of the truck. That's the numerical equivalent of "1-800-MAN-MEAT."

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