Sugar Detox.

In the past year and a half, I have lost at least 44 pounds, and gained it back after I got within 7 pounds of my goal weight and, no matter how hard I tried, could not lose any more.

When I hit the wall, I wondered what I was depriving myself for, if I was going to be fat anyway, so I moved from the "induction" phase of the Atkins diet (25 net carb grams a day) to the "maintenance" phase (100 carb grams a day). It didn't work for me, as I soon began gaining weight rapidly. And I quit counting actual carbs and started counting "net" carbs.

I knew I was getting up there in weight, but I had no idea it was this bad. When I stepped on the scale this morning, instead of a number, it flashed an "E" at me, it's code for "you're too damn fat for me to weigh you; get your lard ass off me."

So know I start all over again from square one. For a month, I'm going to go with even fewer carbs than the induction phase of Atkins. I think 20 ought to do it. I'm gonna be one cranky-ass sumbitch for awhile, so don't take it personally if I snap at any of you.