The Darties.

CNN Money lists them as the Most Dangerous Toys of 2005. I've chosen to name them after the sadly extinct Lawn Darts.

Get this -- the Thing Hands are dangerous because you can hit things with them. But I'd much rather get hit with these things than, say, a Tonka truck, or a Game Boy.

And the antigravity boots -- apparently, there is a potential for injuries from jumping around. And this potential doesn't exist when jumping around without the boots?

And another one is dangerous because it has balloons in it. But balloons themselves don't make the list.

Where there is no risk, my friends, there is no reward. Don't let the Fun Police tell you anything differently.