Today.

Break out the gaucho pants and the disco ball, folks; today is Special Holiday Western Province!

Unfortunately, I will not be joining in the glamorous Special Holiday Western Province festivities; for I am still sick.

I need a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and a glass of milk. A RPBC and a glass of milk makes everything better. When out of RPBC's, though, a Ding-Dong makes an adequate substitution.

There's nothing like a wet Ding-Dong in your mouth to brighten your day.

Maybe I'll see you Tuesday. Or, rather, maybe you'll see me Tuesday. Or maybe I'll be dead and the maggots will be feasting upon my flesh.

Drowning alone, I gasp for air.
Coldness creeps over pale skin.
There is sadness so deep it pulls me down
Happiness dies in a deep, dark sea.

- Henrietta, in the South Park Raisins episode.

Yes, I am SUCH a whiner when I am sick.

But the fevered hallucinations can be fun, like the one where my Dad came back and explained that he was not dead at all. He just left us for his new girlfriend, who is apparently a teacher at Mammoth Spring. We just THOUGHT he died eight years ago. But instead, he just ABANDONED us. Yeah, that makes it MUCH better, pop.