May I Pee Standing Up, Honey?

From NY Daily News:

After being surprised by her husband's role in the Dubai ports deal, Sen. Hillary Clinton has insisted that Bill Clinton give her "final say" over what he says and does, well-placed sources said.

"What brand of tampon would you like me to use, Hillary? Which dress should I wear? The blue one? But it has a stain, sweetie.

Have you had a chance to exercise your power of line-item veto over my list of proposed mistresses yet? No hurry, hon. May I have a cigar?"