Unwittingly, I yesterday uttered The Gayest Thing That Has Ever Been Said.

Ironically, I said it to assert my butchness.

I said it in Wal-Mart yesterday, when my mom suggested a certain color shirt that would exactly match the color of a pair of pants I had at home.

"If they're TOO matchy, they cease to be an outfit and become either a pantsuit or an ensemble. Lesbians wear pantsuits, and real men don't wear ensembles."

Yeah, dude. Outfits are REAL macho. As is a word like "matchy."

At least I was shopping at Wal-Mart and not Abercrombie & Fitch.