Now that I've decided to vote like a Jackass . . .

. . . the question then becomes, which jackasses do I vote for?

I may leave the Senate race blank. Claire McCaskill is just awful, but Bill Clinton Young seems awfully wishy-washy about answering questions. He seems to like "Yes and No." Pick a side, Bill. Even if I disagree with the side you choose, I would respect you more for picking one. Like Rush says, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

On the other hand, it is a virtual certainty that McCaskill will get the nomination of the party, so nothing would be lost by voting for Young. So why NOT vote for Young, using my vote to inch the party farther toward the far left? After all, the more fringy the two major parties appear, the more appealing the Libertarians become to the undecideds.

For US Rep, the Dems give me three choices -- Veronica Hambacker, Gene Curtis, and E. Earl Durnell.

I thought about Hambacker, but then I found her socialist rant page, where she wishes wistfully for a Marxist redistribution of wealth.

True, true we assure them, but what of the redistribution of wealth for the betterment of the whole society.

So that brings us to Gene Curtis, who on his website seems to have a position on only one topic. And it's not a good position. He wants to turn the government into a socialized health insurance company.

The premiums for the plan will be 20 cents per hour on a payroll deduction plan. The federal government will act as the collector of premiums and will re-route the funds back to each congressional district to be disbursed as needed by an administrator. The funds will not go through President George Bush's lock box. The administrator will be hired by an elected board of directors and will provide oversight and be responsible for the local administration of the Gene Curtis National Health Care Plan.

Which leaves E. Earl Durnell. He doesn't have a campaign site, but as Dennis points out, in his campaign ads, he seems as moonbatty as the other two.

So I guess I'll vote for Gene Curtis. At least he confines his collectivism to only one topic. And it is a virtual certainty that JoAnn Emerson will smite her opponent in the general election, even if she does look like a criminally deranged Muppet.

We move on to the State Auditor primary race, which includes Susan Montee and Darrell Wattenbarger, who also doesn't have a campaign site and doesn't like to be bothered with questionairres. But on the other hand, he has returned from the dead, twice. This one's a tossup, but how often do you get a chance to vote for the twice-undead?

The only other contested race in the Jackass primary is for county treasurer, in which Laurel Johnson and Kim Hollis square off. I know very little about either, but because Laurel Johnson is a member of SCOCOG, which has member that are intent on raising my taxes, I will be voting for Kim Hollis.

So that leaves this continuation of a current sales tax until 2016, which I will of course be voting against.