Worcester joins the Global War on Pearorism.

"Warning, Pears Falling."

Let me repeat that -- Warning, Pears Falling.

Like Lisa Simpson said of "Yahoo Serious Festival," I recognize those are words but together they don't make any sense.

What does a city do when presented with the danger of falling pears?

Pick all the pears and take them down to the local food pantry? No, no. That would make too much sense.

Cut down the pear trees and replace them with less dangerous ones? Nope, they don't do that either.

Instead, they do this:

A council has cordoned off pear trees in a public park over fears falling
fruit could land on someone's head.

Two black pear trees in Cripplegate Park in Worcester have been sealed
off with a safety barrier and tape and a sign warns people of falling fruit.

And why do they do this?

A city council spokesman said the precaution was cheaper than the potential legal cost if someone was hit on the head with a pear and sued.

Definitely one for Dick The Butcher.

Oh, and this next bit; this next bit is priceless:

"What we are interested in is to make sure young kids don't get frightened or hurt," he added.

Frightened by pears? Who gets frightened by pears? Let me guess -- people who live in a society that tries to insulate people from fear and pain.

I'm glad these dolts weren't around when Isaac Newton sat under the apple tree.

Warning, Pears Falling. Nope, it still doesn't make any sense.

Maybe a better sign would be "Safe From Pears Beneath The Watchful Eyes."

Or "If you walk under pear trees, the terrorists win."