Reviewing Joel Siegel's Review of Happy Feet.

Siegel's attempt at humor in comparing the number of penguin suits in Happy Feet and Casino Royale falls flat.

He exalts in the film's main character's ability to dance with a forced enthusiasm that has all the subtlety of Barney.

And somewhere along the line, apparently Mr. Siegel has gained psychic powers. Here he insists he has the ability to read the minds of children:

But instead of a happily-ever-after ending about differences being a good thing
after all, "Happy Feet" is incomprehensible to kids.

Maybe he only has psychic powers when he misuses quotation marks instead of properly italicizing.

He slurps all over the animation and the score and then suggests that because those things are enough for him, they will be enough for you.

Then he drones on for two more acts, reviewing For Your Consideration and Déjà Vu. Both reviews lumber along with the same shallow lack of sophistication as the one for Happy Feet, so I won't bore you with them.

On a scale of four stars, I give this Joel Siegel effort zero stars. But only because negative stars are not allowed.