Question.

Who is Reynolds?

As a general rule, I don't post articles in their entirety. But in this case I have to, because surely there's an editor somewhere who will catch this and either fix it or remove this hideous piece of ineptitude entirely. Surely.

Cows wander onto Interstate 95 in R.I.
2007/7


14 minutes ago

HOPKINTON, R.I. - Transportation officials have vowed to figure out how a group of cows wander onto Interstate 95, most recently on Tuesday morning when several Holsteins stopped rush hour traffic.

"If a vehicle hits them, it could cause a serious, serious accident," Sgt. Nicholas Tella said.

Reynolds said the state Department of Transportation is responsible for mending the barrier since it took the land by eminent domain to build the highway. Although state workers installed a portion of the fence last fall, Reynolds said they left 100 feet unfinished.

DOT spokeswoman Heidi Cote said agency records indicate workers did install a fence in the area in October. But she said the department planned to look into Reynolds‘ complaint.

Did the writer of this article by chance intern at the Substandard?

Hideous. I wrote better than that in high school.

I would *like* to write about the government thinking a partial fence is going to keep cows in. There's a metaphor in there somewhere about the Border Fence. No private company would ever possibly believe such a thing.

But I keep getting distracted by one simple question. Who's Reynolds?

UPDATE: FOX has the answer. Don't they always?