You want fries with that catch-up?

Things will be back to normal soon, but a couple of things about happenings during my absence:

M!E!S!S! MESS! MESS! MESS!

Jesus' mom didn't have a driver's license either, didn't even have a driver; was she therefore a bad mother?

Heard a catchy new term on KMOX last night,describing Elizabeth Taylor's latest gay husband-to-be. An entertainment reporter described Jason Winters' long-term relationship with another dude as "man-married."

Can we have Steve Bartman involuntarily committed somewhere far, far away from Wrigley until after the postseason?

Question for John Edwards: If CORPORATE welfare is a bad thing, why do you insist that CANDIDATE welfare is a noble thing? You're right about that whole "two Americas" thing, Senator. You're just wrong about what the division line is -- there are those of us who will make it on our own or die trying, and those of us who are always looking for a government handout of money stolen from the taxpayers. Apparently, you are one of the latter.

Cleveland police, if they find your door unlocked, just turn the knob and walk on in. No probable cause, no warrants, nothing. No place is hidden from the all-seeing eye of Big Brother. [H/T to "Packing" on the forum boards of the Sandusky Register for that one.]

The first nominee for for October's Douchebag of the Month Award is whoever was responsible for raising James Dean of Thayer MO, for not teaching him to SHUT THE FU@K UP WHEN HE'S IN THE FU@KING LIBRARY! WHEN did people stop teaching their kids that they're supposed to be QUIET in the library? ' Cuz there's sure a crop of late-teenagers coming up that doesn't seem to have a CLUE that that's the case! [I'll announce the September DOMA winner when I come back off hiatus.]

'They come at night and murder the monks.'

Like the footage of the heroic, doomed man staring down a line of tanks at Tiananmen Square, the world will never allow itself to forget the image of the bloody sandal. It will be etched into our collective minds forever, and some day there shall come a reckoning.