Waitaminnut....

State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles . . .

Set aside the notion that replicas of animal genitalia are not as offensive as replicas of human genitalia for a moment and ponder the following . . .

Those things are actual replicas? To scale?

Couple that information with this:

[T]hey are now sold in larger, more offensive versions. Some are certainly large enough to be noticeable--the biggest ones from the site Spruill researched weigh more than 2 pounds.

It would surprise everyone if the model from which the mold was made turned out to be Richard Simmons.

But it's more likely Rick Astley.

Douchebag of the Month nominee: Richard Velt.

St. Charles MO City Councilman seeks to make bars safe for pussies.

A St. Louis-area town is considering a bill that would ban swearing in bars, along with table-dancing, drinking contests and profane music.

If this passes, who wants to roadtrip to St. Charles, enter a bar, and read 1 Kings 16:11 out loud? How about Ezekiel 4:15? Or 2 Samuel 3:14? I DARE them to arrest me on that.

Douchebag of the Month nominee: Hillary Clinton.

Said the woman who married up:

“The estate tax has been historically part of our very fundamental belief that we should have a meritocracy, that we do not want a system — where we expect people to make it on their own — to be, over time, dominated by inherited wealth,” she said.

The question she is neither asking nor answering is: Shouldn't the government EARN its money instead of getting it just because someone died?

SOMEONE is going to get that money. Tell me, Ms. Rodham, why should that someone be the government and NOT the people who the deceased WANTS to get it?

Douchebag of the Month nominee.

Mike Huckabee.

"If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague," he wrote. "It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population, and in which this deadly disease for which there is no cure is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents."

And just wait until you see how he now justifies having held those views.

"Fifteen years ago, the AIDS crisis was just that, a crisis," he said. "There was still a great deal of, I think, uncertainty about just how widespread AIDS was, how it could be transmitted.

Bullshit. As this 1987 PSA demonstrates, we knew before then that AIDS was transmitted through blood or sexual contact. Ryan while had been dead two years by then. There was no uncertainty by 1992 about how AIDS could be transmitted.

See if you can follow the logic here.

Earlier this year, the officer’s widow, Michelle Haskett-Godbee, formally requested that the medical examiner review the case. She hoped that if her husband’s death was formally linked to the trade center attack, his name would be added to the official list of 9/11 victims.

But the medical examiner, Dr. Charles S. Hirsch, turned down Mrs. Haskett-Godbee’s request in a letter dated June 13, which was reported Monday in The Daily News.

“All persons killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 and others who died later from complications of injuries or exposure directly caused by the collapse of the twin towers on that day are homicide victims,” Dr. Hirsch wrote. “However, P.O. Godbee first arrived at the World Trade Center site on September 13, 2001.”

By that logic, since the Anthrax victims were exposed after the Anthrax killer mailed the letters, there was no homicide.

And since a bullet strikes the victim after the shooter fires the gun, there's no homicide there either.

And if you happen to step on a landmine a few days after it was set, there's no homicide there, either. Hell, let's just go all the way with that idea and insist that you're not really dead!

Ladies and gentlemen, the latest Douchebag of the Month nominee is Dr. Charles S. Hirsch.

A Douchebag Masquerading As A Ho-Tard.

It's Black Friday, 4:55 AM. I am standing in line waiting for the local Wally World to open. The line stretches halfway across the parking lot, and I am toward the end.

And it's cold as hell.

The doors open and the crowd begins to make it's way into the store.

People step out of their heated cars and politely make their way to the back of the line.

Except for one middle-aged bitch and her twenty-something daughter, who go directly up to the door and push their way in.

Surely she's not stupid enough to not understand the concept of a line. But that's how she's acting.

She'd rather be regarded as incredibly stupid than as what she really is.

It starts with "c" and rhymes with "blunt."

But deep inside she knows. And she knows that WE know.

And every morning when she looks in the mirror, she doesn't see the Ho-Tard that she WANTS to see. She sees the Douchebag that she IS.

I used to hope such people would die.

I even left one particularly douchey woman a note on her car one holiday season when she muscled her car in front of mine to get into a parking row first so she could nab a particularly good parking spot. It was a different Wal-Mart in a different holiday season.

I had to park further out, and scribbled a note before leaving my car.

As I walked past her car, I left it under her wiper blades.

It said, "I hope you DIE this holiday season, you parking-spot stealing BITCH!!!"

More mature now, I realize she could pretend to interpret that as a threat, not a hope. And the police could pretend to believe her. And while I would ultimately convince a jury that it is what it says it is-- a hope, not a threat, it would cause me a lot of headache until then.

So I don't hope they die any more.

I hope for things that I have no power to directly cause.

I hope THIS season's douchebag, for instance, gets Twat Cancer and diarrhea so explosive she blows all her intestines out of her anus.

And her daughter gets an eating disorder and has to eat them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the very FIRST female Arkanssouri Douchebag of the Month nominee. She shall be nominated under the name "Inconsiderate, unidentified c*nt at Wal-Mart."

Douchebag of the Month nominee: Warren Buffett.

Two questions, Warren:

If you don't think you're paying enough in taxes, what is stopping you from taking out your checkbook and writing Uncle Sam a big, fat check?

Why isn't that your solution, instead of advocating raising taxes on you AND OTHER PEOPLE?

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Douchebag of the Month nominee.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Patrolman Patrick Gillman.

The single mother of four is accused of yelling profanities at her overflowing toilet near an open window, then shouting profanities at an off-duty Scranton police officer who asked her to stop. Patrolman Patrick Gilman, who’s also a neighbor of Ms. Herb, called the Police Department to file a complaint.

...

Patrolman Tallo, however, has maintained that Ms. Herb was creating a public disturbance, according to a police report. He alleges she was yelling and cursing, using the “f-word” so loud in her residence that she could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

Also, he claims that Patrolman Gilman asked Ms. Herb to “watch her mouth, that there were young children in the neighborhood.” This response, Patrolman Tallo said, was met by Ms. Herb saying “f--- you.”

Ms. Herb’s version differs from that of the police.

She said her neighbor told her to “Shut the f--- up,” and her response was “Mind your own business.”

Note that the thought of going over and helping the woman with her problem never crossed Gilman's mind.

And he's clearly got a power complex. "You curse; it's disorderly conduct. I curse, and because I have this shiny little badge, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

Breach of contract.

From the transcript of Larry Craig's arrest:

[Arresting Officer] DK: Okay. So we'll start over, you're gonna get out of here. You're gonna have to pay a fine and that will be it. Okay, I don't call media, I don't do any of that type of crap.

The meaning here is clear -- you plead guilty and I don't go to the press and it will all be over.

Larry Craig pled guilty, and "somehow" the press got ahold of it and it wasn't over.

When private citizens breach their contracts, even oral ones, even those not recorded unlike this one, they have to pay.

A little late, but I'm nominating Sergeant Dave Karsnia for the Douchebag of the Month Award.

Two sentences into the article,

and Michael Bonanno's shit-stupidness is already apparent.

Last night, I happened upon a 1959 Mike Wallace interview. In this interview, Wallace was speaking to Ayn Rand, the goddess of today’s Libertarian Party[1], the party that Ron Paul would belong to if he had any courage[2]. But Paul has no courage.

Um, no.

[1.] If Libertarians WERE Objectivists, they wouldn't believe in goddesses. And The Libertarian Party is a political entity, not a philosophical one such as Ayn Rand's Objectivist movement. There are PLENTY of Libertarians who are rather disdainful of Ayn Rand, some even that have never heard of her. Ayn Rand herself dismissed Libertarians as "the hippies of the right." Libertarians don't strike me as the masochistic type, so I doubt they would elevate ANYONE who verbally degraded them to the level of "goddess."

[2.] Once upon a time, there was a little thing called 1988. Perhaps you've heard about it, but it's readily apparent this dumbass hasn't. Bonanno should read about it sometime. If he does, he will discover that Ron Paul was the Libertarian Party Presidential candidate. For all the good it did him. It takes more courage to stick it out in the trenches and fight to save a party riddled with corruption than it does to stand outside that party and gripe about it's corruption. He TRIED the reform-from-outside route; it didn't work. Now he's trying the reform-from-inside.

For the offense of sheer shit-stupidness, Bonanno is the first nominee for the October 2007 Douchebag of the Month Award.

You want fries with that catch-up?

Things will be back to normal soon, but a couple of things about happenings during my absence:

M!E!S!S! MESS! MESS! MESS!

Jesus' mom didn't have a driver's license either, didn't even have a driver; was she therefore a bad mother?

Heard a catchy new term on KMOX last night,describing Elizabeth Taylor's latest gay husband-to-be. An entertainment reporter described Jason Winters' long-term relationship with another dude as "man-married."

Can we have Steve Bartman involuntarily committed somewhere far, far away from Wrigley until after the postseason?

Question for John Edwards: If CORPORATE welfare is a bad thing, why do you insist that CANDIDATE welfare is a noble thing? You're right about that whole "two Americas" thing, Senator. You're just wrong about what the division line is -- there are those of us who will make it on our own or die trying, and those of us who are always looking for a government handout of money stolen from the taxpayers. Apparently, you are one of the latter.

Cleveland police, if they find your door unlocked, just turn the knob and walk on in. No probable cause, no warrants, nothing. No place is hidden from the all-seeing eye of Big Brother. [H/T to "Packing" on the forum boards of the Sandusky Register for that one.]

The first nominee for for October's Douchebag of the Month Award is whoever was responsible for raising James Dean of Thayer MO, for not teaching him to SHUT THE FU@K UP WHEN HE'S IN THE FU@KING LIBRARY! WHEN did people stop teaching their kids that they're supposed to be QUIET in the library? ' Cuz there's sure a crop of late-teenagers coming up that doesn't seem to have a CLUE that that's the case! [I'll announce the September DOMA winner when I come back off hiatus.]

'They come at night and murder the monks.'

Like the footage of the heroic, doomed man staring down a line of tanks at Tiananmen Square, the world will never allow itself to forget the image of the bloody sandal. It will be etched into our collective minds forever, and some day there shall come a reckoning.

Is it possible to be a Double Douchebag?

I just checked the Wikipedia entry for July '07 Douchebag of the Month Dan Rutherford.

All reference to his little tantrum against Ron Paul supporters was gone.

I took a look at the revision history page to find out who did it, and look (at the red) what I found.

Click pic to embiggen.

If Dan Rutherford doesn't want people pointing out his douchebagginess, he should quit being douchebaggy.

I, of course, undid his revision.

He may be the first multiple winner of the Douchebag of the Month Award.

Live from the intersection of "Why Minnesota Sucks" and "Douchebag of the Month Nominees."

Sickening, just sickening.

Clark is accused of chasing a tame duck that was swimming in a pond at the Embassy Suites Hotel in St. Paul on Saturday.

Witnesses told authorities he eventually cornered the duck, grabbed it and tore its head off.

Someone ought to do the same thing to him.

Before all you NRAers get your panties in a wad, I am not anti-hunting. But there's a difference between shooting a wild mallard out in the field and ripping off the head of someone's pet, in front of them.

DOMA* Nominee Update!

Douchebag got FIRED!

One small step for non-douchebags everywhere.


* - DOMA means "Douchebag of the Month Award"

Another nominee for September '07 Douchebag of the Month Award.

The second nominee this month is Sgt. James Kuehnlein:






The videos are a little lengthy, so here is an excerpt:

Officer: You wanna try me? You wanna try me tonight? You think you have a bad night? I will ruin your [expletive] night. You wanna try me? Do you wanna try me young boy? You wanna try me tonight young boy? You wanna go to jail for some [expletive] reason I come up with? You wanna see who knows the law better, me or you?

Nope, no power complex there, is there?

Not only should this Nazi be fired, every conviction on which he has ever worked should be overturned due to his admission that he manufactures charges.

And people wonder why I call them jackbooted thugs.

UPDATE: KMOX finds out the douchebag's in-car video has "mysteriously" disappeared.

As opposed to s**kers of Big Brother's c**k such as Lou Dobbs.

Now HERE's a piece of objective journalism for you:

You know, the idiotic libertarians are slinking around in the dark here. This is a job for our government. Get used to it. There is a role for it and it is to protect the American people.

Can we sue CNN for false advertising, in that it claims to be the Cable NEWS Network and not the Big Government Promotion Network?

Libertarians fully recognize that there is a place for the government in holding Mattel (and by extension, China) accountable for Leadgate. And that place is in the courts, not in anti-freedom protectionist practices.

Lou Dobbs is the first nominee for the September '07 Douchebag of the Month award.

And his ass wasn't thrown in jail *why*?

Romney camp's running scared.

[A]t one point, Romney's Illinois chairman, state Sen. Dan Rutherford (R-Chenoa), ripped a sign out of one [Ron] Paul supporter's hands and threw it on the ground.

Bet THAT's one you won't see on CNN.

His email addy is danrutherford@danrutherford.com, if you want to ask him why he supports destroying other people's property for the horrible offense of holding a different view than he does.

Dan Rutherford has a strong possibility of winning the August '07 Douchebag of the Month award.

Wanna see . . .

. . . a map to Matt Westerhold's house? Here you go.

Map of 322 Deepwood Ln Amherst, OH 44001-1972, US

Here's the house registered to his ex-wife.

And I think this is his old address.

And here's a satellite picture of where he works.

Matt Westerhold doesn't know what the word "concealed" means. It means "people don't know." So Matt takes it upon himself to make sure people do know.

Anyone with a little extra cash they can blow could run a background check.

UPDATE:

Click pic to embiggen.

And according to US SEARCH, his middle name appears to be "Howard."

Matt Westerhold is the frontrunner for July's Douchebag of the Month award.
[Thanks, Overtorqued.]