Match my description with the movie!

1. Senile puppet hits blonde bitchboy/mass murderer with a stick.
2. Men eat chicken parts.
3. Wind In His Hair harbors secret crush for civil war soldier.
4. Braveheart for lesbians.
5. Gilbert Gottfried and Morton Downey Jr. enter an elevator with you, insist on standing right next to you, on either side of you, and argue loudly about petticoats and sausages for 131 minutes. Plus, they have diarrhea. And you have cancer. You HOPE the elevator cable snaps.
6. Adolescent boy eats chicken parts.
7. Fried pertaters and biscuits with mustard give way to Popeye's chicken and a 4-0 of Colt 45. The movie's tagline is "That's how I roll, mmm-hmmm."

a. Showgirls
b. Thelma & Louise
c. Dances With Wolves
d. Kiss of the Spider Woman
e. The Empire Strikes Back
f. The Mudge Boy
g. Sling Blade II: Karl in Tha Hood.