I sat in Dairy Queen yesterday . . .

. . . eating my Chicken Strip Basket with Hickory BBQ Sauce and sipping my Dr. Pepper, looking out the window at the traffic going by, which periodically stopped at the traffic light.

Just on the edge of my field of vision, which was partially obstructed by the edge of the window, there was a big, chartered-looking bus. I could only read the first two letters of the gigantic word printed on it's side.

"HO".

I wondered what it could be.

The light changed, and as the bus pulled forward, one by one the rest of the letters came into view.

"T"
"A"
"R"
"D".

Electric Company-style, I put the word together.

"Ho. Tard."
"Ho-Tard."
"HOTARD!"

It was at that moment I deduced it must be Paris Hilton's tour bus.

In the next moment, my future was irretrievably altered.

Because deep down inside, you know that now I just HAVE to start nominating and awarding Ho-Tards of the Month!