The Arkanssouri Blog.: 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Elderly woman, trapped by seatbelt, drowns.

Story here.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Taking Memorial Weekend Off.

Case of Budweiser Select? Check.

New copy of Whitesnake's Slip Of The Tongue on cassette? Check.

See y'all Tuesday, assuming of course my head doesn't get filled with exploding maggots or I meet some similar unfortunate fate.


No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web -

Typos make life more interesting.

Seen as a caption on CNN's Inside Politics yesterday:

Frist to be honorary starer at NASCAR race.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Oh. My. God.

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight.

Cowardly Lion + Lollipop Guild = Priceless.

Judge: No Looking at Jacko's Peeper!

Judge Bars Photos of Jackson Genitalia.

[Crossposted to The Puffington Host.]

Theocracy Watch.

A Wiccan activist and his ex-wife are challenging a court's order that they must protect their 9-year-old son from what it calls their "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals."

Story here.

This is yet another example of the Right's desire to establish a Christian theocracy in the United States. When they say they aren't trying to do it, they are simply lying.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

But I thought poppies made you feel groggy . . .

Karzai Optimistic On Poppies.

Hat tip to esteemed Mr. Hanna.

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web -

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

See I Told You So.

Longtime Arkanssouri readers will remember that occasionally I have asked "If smoking can be banned by law in public places, why not wearing so much perfume you smell like a French whore?"

On the message boards where I've asked this question, I have been met with disdain and insistence that such a thing would never happen.

Today we are in the initial stages of that very thing happening.

Story here.

My Personality Defect Test Results.


You are 100% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 100% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.

You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, thus making it easier to kill them. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.


Your exact opposite is the Hippie.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig.



If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

Take the test for yourself here.

A product of Arkansas public education.

Man leaps from moving car to retrieve cigarette.

Inside the Blogs.

I'm hoping the Inside The Blogs segment survives the restructuring of CNN's afternoon programming.

I'm also hoping they'll start giving the URLs of the blogs they talk about in a caption.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Now leaving Liberalism...

... the problem is, Keith Thompson doesn't leave a forwarding address telling us where he's going.

If every exit is an entrance to someplace else, what has Keith entered?

One of the most frustrating things about liberals is that they always seem to be against something and are never for anything.

Now one of them seems to be against liberalism itself. The question is, what's he for?

Your tax dollars at work . . .

. . . improving (or causing) the erections of child molesters.

I remind Arkanssouri's readers that in a Libertarian society, such idiocy would not happen.

A previously unknown Constitutional power.

Did you know the First Lady has the power to commute the sentences of prisoners?

At least these dopes think so.

The demonstrators demanded [from First Lady Laura Bush] the release of Jonathan Pollard, an American imprisoned for passing security information to Israel.

Sunshine: Cancerous and Cancer-Preventing at the same time.

Story here.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Equal Rights for Women . . .

... should mean equal responsibilities.

So why doesn't it?

If the Eastern Liberals are so concerned about racial sensitivity . . .

. . . then why did it take them 330 years to repeal this racist law?

I see Baghdad; I see France . . .

I see Evil's Underpants.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

God Internet filtering sucks.

Raw360 is filtered out by MOREnet, which puts it under the "Chat, Games" categories.

So I use trusty anonymizer to get in and find a post I'd like to comment on, dealing with South Park and Comedy Central.

So I type in my little comment, then at the bottom is one of those "What are the letters that appear on the screen?" things, to keep out comment spammers.

The letters didn't make it through either or both of anonymizer or MOREnet.

So here's the text of my comment. Not like he's ever gonna see it, though.

I'm hoping that with Chappelle in the loony bin, COMCENT will bring back


NOW you're just being silly!

To the dude who found his way here by googling "doubleshot spongebob rape," I think one of my other blogs might be more to your liking.

He's right, but I still don't like him.

When the twin towers fell, the first thought I had about rebuilding them is that they should be put back the way they were, only larger. To do otherwise is to let Osama bin Laden do NYC's urban planning.

And my opinion of the Freedom Tower is that it looks like it's unfinished, or being demolished.

Turns out the guy who tries to steal the homes of little old ladies agrees with me.

He's still a prick, though.

Wuzzup wit' Ana?

Why are Ananova's Quirkies from November 2002 today?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Is it live, or is it Memorex?

How many Georgians does it take to determine whether or not a grenade is live?

The phrase "Georgian Intelligence" is rapidly becoming an oxymoron.

New fuel cell opens way for artificial hearts

Tom of Tom Rants titled his post for this "Soylent Black." I was thinking the same thing.

New fuel cell opens way for artificial heartsA Japanese research team has
developed a fuel cell that runs on blood without using toxic substances, opening
the way for use in artificial hearts and other organs.

(Click here for the full story )

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

RightPundit: Real men don't wear jeans.

Post here.

[Emphasis in bold mine, not theirs.]
The boys, well, they were another story. I saw two suits or sports jackets. Out of the more than a hundred boys in attendance, Kathy remembered seeing only two when I asked her about it. Somewhere between one-fourth and one-third (I’m not sure of the exact percentage but it was substantially less than a half) wore either dress khaki or gray pants with a decent polo shirt. The rest, in excess of half, wore jeans. Some of the jean-wearers wore a collared shirt (unbuttoned and not tucked in), but most wore just a t-shirt. And nearly all (including those with nice pants) wore tennis shoes.

What are we doing to our boys? Yes, I know getting a 13 or 14 year-old boy to dress nicely is just short of asking the tide to stay out. And at this age I don’t expect boys to be as conscious of these things as girls are. But, please. They do have parents. They can be taught. That is part of the reason why we have events like this: so the kids can see that they can look good dressing up every once and awhile. That they can still have fun even while dressed up. That certain events in their life deserve special treatment.

As the father of a daughter, it concerns me greatly that our society in general and most parents in specific are not teaching our boys what a true man is.

Lost on RightPundit is the possibility that maybe the boys' parents can't afford dress pants. Or maybe people have different opinions on whether or not dress pants are objectively better than jeans. Or maybe they refuse to a narrow little cookie-cutter view of the world in which dress codes are enforced.

Whatever the case, I'm pretty sure at some point John Wayne wore jeans out in public. And I KNOW I've seen Richard Simmons dressed up in dress pants from time to time. So RightPundit may as well resign it's little self-appointed title of Arbiter of True Manliness.

"Carl Edwards Shirtless" Guy has a sister. sent some unfortunate soul here to arkanssouri who was looking for the following:

siber pet websites where you can take care of a pet for free online with sound effects in it
. State Secret: Thousands Secretly Sterilized

When Hitler did this, we called it monstrous.

State Secret: Thousands Secretly Sterilized

Monday, May 16, 2005


Who would win in a street brawl -- Buffo or Ouchy?

Friday, May 13, 2005

Yogi would be proud.

The last line of this post says:

Those are gonna be some fucked-up children when they grow up.

Apparently, when they grow up, they will still be children. :)

What I SHOULD have said was:

Those children are gonna be some fucked-up people when they grow up.

What's really sad is that so far I am the only one that caught this Yogiism.

BTW, I've added a couple of details to that post that I forgot to mention when I originally posted it. They'll be in red.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Thing of Beauty.

Ford F-650 Super Crewzer.

Best feature:
Fear not, however, as parking tickets are of no concern since it it's virtually impossible for a parking enforcer to reach the windshield.

Disfiguring Barbie.

So I'm still having trouble with trespassers in my back yard.

I decided to leave them little presents. The first one was a male Ken-ish doll wearing panty hose with a black hood over his head, holding the severed head of a Barbie-ish doll with her eyes cut out in his right hand, raised up for all to see. It stayed in the back yard for a week before it was stolen.

So I did another one last night. The headless body of the first Barbie-ish girl, with a wad of rubber band wrapped around where her head should be. I cut a gaping wound in her back, punctured her boobs full of push-pin holes, cut off her hands and bound them together with a small rubber band, then put her hands in her chest cavity via the gaping wound in her back.

And did I mention the stigmata?

I bound the stumps of her arms together behind her back, then bound her feet together. I placed leftover yardsale stickers that said "MAKE OFFER" over her crotch and ass and the hole in her back.

I got a red marker and colored the ends of her stumps bloody, then drew a gash on her neck and rivers of blood gushing down the insides of her legs. I broke her knees so that they bend FORWARD instead of backward and drew a smiley face on her stomach in red.

I burned her plastic flesh with a cigarette several times on her legs, torso, and feet. Then I threw her in the backyard.

We'll see how long this one lasts before it is stolen.

Those are gonna be some fucked-up children when they grow up.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Where is he now?

Originally uploaded by tomhanna.
A candid picture of Warren Christopher enjoying his retirement years, relaxing at home.

Britney Spears Eats Christopher Reeve.

I found this on Google News today.

I hate to tell Brit this, but I think Chris' expiration date has passed.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I have a reproduction of this sign hanging in my bedroom.

I may go back and get this one too:


Friday, May 06, 2005

FDA: It's not the AIDS we object to, it's the gayness.

FDA to implement new sperm donor rules for gays.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Death of a Stormtrooper.

When I was in public school, they used to try to drain such creativity out of me.

Glad to see SOMEBODY escaped their drainy ways.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Taser Cannon?

A freakin' Taser Cannon?

Terminator meets 1984.

You can bet a guy invented this. Note the absence of pretty flowers decorating it.

Well, it IS selective enforcement.

After all, the cops don't go after people who build snowmen wearing nothing but a hat and a scarf, do they?

But NOOOOOO . . . that's not obscene, but this apparently is.

Burrito bandito.

Is that a burrito you're hiding, or are you just happy to see me?

Snap. Crackle. Hiss.

Boy finds live snake in his cereal.

On one of my famous tangents, why does that one Snap Crackle Pop guy wear a Rastafarian tam?

Great pickup line.

[Crossposted to Abjectivism: Broke But Not Broken.]

For all you boob men out there (or boob women, for that matter), here's a free "I LOVE NURSING" wristband for you.

So THAT's why gay men's skin looks so FABULOUS.

Hate to tell you guys this, but this is nothing new.

Do a google image search for "bukakke" sometime and you'll see.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Well, okay but just ONE...

... found in the ads on my friend Kevin's blog PubliusTX, no doubt much to his consternation, it's . . .


Like God, I am a busy man.

No time to blog today. I’ll be busy finishing a flower garden outside my mom’s bedroom window.

Monday, May 02, 2005


I've been checking the Quake Sheet through Drudge every day lately, and we've had a cluster of microquakes along the New Madrid fault.

I suspected one was coming.

Yesterday, this happened.

Thing is, I don't know if this was the quake, or just another foreshock.


Originally uploaded by Arkanssouri.
The Pope gets the first Safety of his football career!

Story here .

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