The Arkanssouri Blog.: 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Ice storm's comin'.


Don't know how long I'll be iced in and can't blog.

Gonna play hell on my football picks.

But like Ennis Del Mar says, "If you can't fix it, you got to stand it."

In other words, there's no use worrying about things over which you have no control.

See you when I can.

I wish I could find a transcript online of this.

Haley Barbour made an excellent point on C-SPAN a few days ago, speaking at the Federalist Society. It ran along the lines of

Mississippi and New Orleans were hit by the same hurricane. Mississippi didn't have the initial failures to provide relief to people, at least not on the same scale as New Orleans. Mississippi is well on it's way to a full recovery. New Orleans hasn't even really begun and doesn't look like it ever will. Given that both New Orleans and Mississippi have the same federal government, how can it possibly be the federal government's fault?

[Update: There's supposedly a video of the speech here, but I can't get the page to load.]

How does one surprise a sign?

Actual headline:

Illegal signs to be caught `by surprise'.

I think I'll sneak up behind a 'Yield' sign and yell "Boo!" and see what happens.

WQAD: "A is not A."

We're beginning a new feature here at The Arkanssouri Blog. It's called, "When the headline is contradicted by the story." Here goes:

Here's the WQAD headline:

City advances measure to restrict drag shows

Here's (part of) the story (emphasis mine):

A measure that lifts restrictions on where male and female impersonators
can perform in Chicago
is a step closer to approval.

Under the proposed change, clubs featuring impersonators wouldn't need a
special use permit for adult entertainment.

The current requirement restricts operations to small areas of the city
that have special zoning.

The measure passed the City Council's Zoning Committee yesterday. It's
scheduled for a vote by the full council next month.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Reviewing Joel Siegel's Review of Happy Feet.

Siegel's attempt at humor in comparing the number of penguin suits in Happy Feet and Casino Royale falls flat.

He exalts in the film's main character's ability to dance with a forced enthusiasm that has all the subtlety of Barney.

And somewhere along the line, apparently Mr. Siegel has gained psychic powers. Here he insists he has the ability to read the minds of children:

But instead of a happily-ever-after ending about differences being a good thing
after all, "Happy Feet" is incomprehensible to kids.
Maybe he only has psychic powers when he misuses quotation marks instead of properly italicizing.

He slurps all over the animation and the score and then suggests that because those things are enough for him, they will be enough for you.

Then he drones on for two more acts, reviewing For Your Consideration and Déjà Vu. Both reviews lumber along with the same shallow lack of sophistication as the one for Happy Feet, so I won't bore you with them.

On a scale of four stars, I give this Joel Siegel effort zero stars. But only because negative stars are not allowed.

The latest installment of Why I Hate The Mis-Leader.

This may be the first known example of quadruple-speak. It comes from their Sunday edition:

When applied in a system that involves spending public money on private
schools, a voucher system will do one of two things:

It will provide no accountability because the long arm of government
has no control over private schools.

Or it will bring accountability by allowing the government to exercise
some control over private schools because public money will be involved.

Either way, the result is a bad one, and that's why we remain
vehemently opposed to a voucher system in the public schools.


They oppose vouchers because vouchers either provide accountability or provide no accountability, and because of either (or both of) the control and lack of control. And seem totally unaware they are speaking in contradictory nonsense.

Are Ellsworth Toohey and Jim Taggart on the editorial board now?

Three heartbeats away from the crown.

Suppose Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, and Prince William all simultaneously abdicate the throne.

That would make Prince Harry king, right?

Spiderman bedsheets and all.

Hey, it could be worse. He could go off to college with A-Team bedsheets and a Snoopy pillowcase.

Or be like me and still yearn for the Star Wars bedsheets he never got.

Watching The Watchers Forbidden.

Quebec students punished for YouTubing teacher's tantrum.

The school convinced YouTube to remove the videos on Monday and suspended
the students indefinitely this week because they knew that the school has a
strict policy banning cellphones and digital cameras.

[snip]

The teachers' union has asked the board to ban cameras and camera-equipped
cellphones in all classrooms within its jurisdiction because they can be used to
invade the privacy of teachers and students.


And inconveniently hold teachers accountable for their actions.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

In London, Speak Softly, Deeply and Slowly. Or Else.

Today's Secure Beneath The Watchful Eyes Ears Update brings us this snippet:

The [Big-Brother-sytle listening/surveillance] equipment can pick up aggressive tones on the basis of 12 factors, including decibel level, pitch and the speed at which words are spoken.


Hannibal the Cannibal would slip through unnoticed, where the Micro-Machines/Fed Ex guy would get a boot to the neck.

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

27 Days 'Til Xmas!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Pop Quiz!


Which chick is hotter?
A. The chick on the left.
B. The chick on the right.
C. Isn't the point of plastic surgery to look BETTER afterwards?

Dear Abby (Abby Normal, that is.)

I'm going to open the floor for questions and occasionally offer up a post on Dear Abby-style advice. If you have a question you'd like my advice on, submit it here in the comments.

Here's an example:

Dear Abby Normal:

My best friend is oblivious to the fact that her facelift was totally botched. She looks like a freak. Should I tell her or will that hurt her feelings?

Concerned in Concord


Nah, don't tell her. There's nothing she can do about it now. And remember, the uglier she is, the better you look in comparison.

Cheers!
Abby Normal

The Misinterpretable Headline of the Day . . .

. . . brings us News of the Temporarily Dead.

Briefly: Hamas cameraman killed by Israeli troops.

What, did Jesus come along and resurrect him? How is one "briefly killed"?

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

The font isn't as end-of-the-world-ginormous . . .

...


The rest of the story is here.

Only this time, instead of Old Media writing about me, in this case I sent the tip to Old Media that got the ball rolling. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I'm definitely at least one of the ones.

In a perfect world, bloggers wouldn't have to help Old Media along. But this world is far from perfect.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanky Hapsgiving, all!



(Unlike them Northerners, here in Arkanssouri, we know that only wild turkeys are suitable for this practice.)

See you guys Saturday or (more likely) Monday.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Fan, sh*t. Sh*t, fan.

I may wind up as a political prisoner at the end of this.

But I will protect my source/sources until she/he/they tell me I can identify them.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The blogosphere ate it.

I'm pretty sure some time back, I wrote a post titled Rangel: Slavery Is OK if DoD* Is Your Master.

Now I can't find it.

But in any event, Mr. Hanna points out that Mr. Rangel is still pro-slavery.

* DoD - The Department of Defense.

UPDATE: Turns out I posted it on a message board back in '02, not here on the blog. My bad.

Stupid! Stupid blogger! STOOOPID!

Friday, November 17, 2006

37 Days 'Til Xmas!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Big Brother is emailing people about me.

Remember my little "verbal typo" snark?

This showed up on my statcounter's visitor activity list:


Note the "house.gov" suffix.

Am I paranoid if they really ARE watching me?

38 Days 'Til Xmas!

Freedom dies a little more . . .

. . . in the Kalifornistan city of БЄЛМОИТ.

The [БЄЛМОИТ] City Council voted unanimously last night to pursue a strict law that will prohibit smoking anywhere in the city except for single-family detached residences. Smoking on the street, in a park and even in one’s car will become illegal and police would have the option of handing out tickets if they catch someone.


Anyone remember when individual rights outweighed community standards?

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

Like Libertarians, the Sith are a persecuted minority.

400,000 Jedi. No mention of how many Sith there are.

Typical.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

If it wasn't a verbal typo, I'd agree with him.

U.S. Rep. Chet Edwards, D-Waco, vows to fight against bipartisanship.

Why would I join him in fighting bipartisanship? Because the first thought that popped into my head when I realized the neosocialists now controlled the purse strings while the social conservatives still were in charge of executing the government's will was . . .

... "Pray for gridlock."

I may have mentioned this before, but in case I didn't . . .

Election day morning, prior to the polling place opening, I stopped by a local convenience store. The cashier related the following to me.

Two tourists from Soviet Georgia stopped in, after floating the river. They remarked that all the signs and restrictions were more oppressive than anything they encountered under Communism.

Sometimes I wonder whether we really won the Cold War.

And I wonder if the American ideal of individual liberty is gone forever.

Brownback: Religious conservatism at odds with libertarianism.

Quote:


Sen. Brownback echoed a previously expressed sentiment that religious
conservatives need to work especially hard in the interior west Sunbelt region
to counter a vibrant libertarian sentiment.


Libertarian sentiment is something that should be countered?

And here I've been calling them anti-Libertarian when actually they're counterlibertarian.

Gee, could you make it sound a little more ominous for us?

Here's a quote from the Union Leader (emphasis mine):

The group chose New Hampshire to test its goal of creating a showroom for
limited government, less regulation, low taxes and a respect for privacy by
infiltrating government with libertarian ideas.


Infiltrating?

39 Days 'Til Xmas!

One of those great unanswered questions of the universe.

Why is it that bears, grungers and butch lesbians dress alike?

Flannel, construction boots . . .

Monday, November 13, 2006

Sorry, folks.

Today is one of those disjointed days where I'm having trouble stringing enough words together to make a cogent sentence.

And tomorrow, I have real world matters to attend to.

I'll try to catch up with you Wednesday.

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.
And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.


Your Christmas is Most Like: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Christmas was not a big deal for you growing up...
And you're still trying to figure out what it all means.


Your 2005 Song Is

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

"Love forever love is free.
Let's turn forever you and me."

In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

42 Days 'Til Xmas!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

43 Days 'Til Xmas!

Friday, November 10, 2006

44 Days 'Til Xmas!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Stop me before I mourn again!

Man addicted to funerals.

Ed Bradley Dead.

I agreed with him some. Disagreed with him more.

But one thing that impressed me about Ed Bradley was how skillfully he walked the PC tightrope on race matters.

If race wasn't a factor in his story, he didn't try to make it one. And if it WAS a factor, he didn't shy away from addressing it.

And if he didn't know whether it was a factor or not, he'd ask his interviewee if it was.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

I may have to vote in the Democrat primary in '08 . . .

. . . just so I can vote against the pro-eminent-domain Sack Of Vil, who announced today he's running for President as a neosocialist Democrat.

My vils itch!

45 Days 'til Xmas!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Electile Dysfunction.

Kamikaze squirrel attacks on our electoral process.

Doors chained and locks vandalized on Kean HQ.

Mysterious, deceptive phone calls.

And all that was BEFORE Diebold; got ahold of the vote counts.

I'm struck from a line I saw yesterday in Hacking Democracy. It is a tale of
two countries -- the one people think we live in, and the one we actually do.

What we have here, friends, is neither a democracy nor a republic.




No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com
;

46 Days . . .

. . . 'til Xmas the Winter Festival!

The era of individual liberty is over.

This country spent forty years fighting the Cold War. So, now that some time has passed since we won, what do we do? Turn the purse strings of our government over to the neosocialists!

We now have the worst possible combination of controlling parties and government branches -- the neosocialists have the legislature (likely including the Senate) and the neofascists have the executive.

What's that, you say? The newly-elected Democrats are more conservative than previous candidates? Yes, but they're more conservative in all the areas where conservatives are wrong. They still believe in punishing success and rewarding failure, but they abandon the left on social issues, where the left is usually pro-liberty.

Heath Shuler, for instance, is anti-gay. That makes him a "moderate Democrat," despite his desire for even more gigantic and monstrous government programs like Medicare.

Claire McCaskill is also anti-gay. As are many other of these so-called moderate Democrats. (Excuse me, anti-equality-for-gays, as if there's a difference.) It looks to me like it's less of a move to the center than a successful act of throwing their gay supporters under the bus. Wake up, gay people. Democrats are no more your friends than Republicans are. The only way to keep the government out of your bedroom and your relationship arrangements is to elect Libertarians.

Speaking of the Libertarians, did they make a difference in this election? Well, let's take a look at the Talent/McCaskill race and see. With 98% of the precincts reporting, McCaskill has 50%, Talent has 47% and Gilmour, the Libertarian, has 2%. So, here, the Libertarians didn't deliver the seat to the Democrats. But if Talent had courted the small-l libertarian wing of his party a little more instead of offering up his pink little pucker to the zealot theocrat wing, it would have been a lot closer and maybe he could be a position to request a recount.

In Montana, however, with 99% reporting, Tester's got 49%, Burns has 48%, and the Libertarian, Jones, has 3%. So the balance of power in the Senate may indeed shift on the power of Libertarians.

Does that make us spoilers? Maybe. But all I can say is that we don't owe any allegiance to either of the two major parties. They want our votes; they're going to have to earn them.

At least Anti-Libertarian Santorum is out. That might actually be worth it.

And how did the Free State Project do? They didn't have a Senate race in New Hampshire this time, so let's take a look at their House races.

In NH-1, no Libertarian ran and the Democrat won with 52%. In NH-2, a Libertarian ran but garnered no more of the vote than Libertarians usually do, and the Democrat won with 53%. For the governorship, no Libertarian ran and the Democrat won in a landslide. Not very promising results.

So, the Anti-Libertarian Party retained control of Congress. Only now it's the neosocialist wing of that determines the agenda rather than the theocrats.

Big Government is back.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that that's just the way Diebold likes it.

P.S. We'll just SEE how centrist this new Democratic majority is when it comes to leadership assignments, starting with Nancy Pelosi. If she gets in as Speaker, that proves they're not very centrist, now doesn't it?

But I will SO enjoy referring to her as "Mister Speaker."

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

47 Days 'Til Xmas!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Happy Holiday!

Today is both I Love Nachos Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day!

I know it doesn't hold a candle to National Dairy Goat Awareness Week, but it does give us an opportunity to celebrate the presence of nachos and the absence of compasses.

I hope the Nacho Fairy leaves something warm and sticky under your pillow!

Shocking. SHOCKING, I say!

So Doogie, the first blogger ever, is gay.

Maybe he'll hook up with Lance Bass.

I probably won't be blogging tomorrow . . .

. . . what with the election and the subsequent drinking.

48 Days 'Til Xmas!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

49 Days 'Til Xmas!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

50 Days 'Til Xmas!

Friday, November 03, 2006

51 Days 'Til Xmas!

Laissez-faire cigars!

Those who control the present . . .

. . . control the past.

Heh-heh-heh. Them souljirs sure am phunnie!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

52 Days 'Til Xmas!

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