Arkanssouri Public Service Announcement.

Take that, FCC oppressors!

Quote of the day.

A black bag found in a middle school girls' locker room contained
rotten oranges and not a human fetus, the Dallas County medical examiner reported Friday.

Song of The Day -- Don't Tread On Me by DAMN YANKEES.

FurTV 6/30/07.

7-9 PM -- Mythbusters, Discovery Channel.
9-9:30 -- The Red Green Show, PBS.

I wonder if they truly don't recognize their bias.

Tariq Panja, AP reporter, on London's new smoking ban:

The smoking ban applies to covered public places and brings the nation in
line with the more than 35 other countries and territories.

There is no mention of the nearly 160 other countries of the world, the ones that don't have a smoking ban, that Britain has now placed itself out of line with.

Bait and Switch.

Clinton Library project costs twice as much as he said it would.

The Clinton Foundation said in 2002 that it would spend $4,000,000 on
renovation of the Rock Island Bridge, and the City of Little Rock committed
another $1,000,000. Now, estimates are in the vicinity of
$10,000,000.

Big surprise, right?

KAIT ASU Mascot Poll.

Vote for the lamest one you see here.

I chose "Woodpeckers."

Update: Chris Hingle suggests "Engines."

There may be hope yet for the NBA.

While others are wee-weeing all over themselves about Portland and Seattle's picks, I have to wonder if the real winner of the draft wasn't Chicago.

He's easily the most recognizable man in the entire draft pool.

And while I don't think he's the Second Coming of Michael Jordan, he may be Chicago's LeBron James.

And the Bulls were close to success before drafting him. He may be just what they need to put them over the top.

FurTV 6-29-07.

7:30-10:00 PM.
NASCAR CRAFTSMAN TRUCK SERIES racing, Speed Channel. To borrow from Homer Simpson, "Mmmmm . . . Mike Skinner!"

Skateboarder-choking cop followup.

From Chron:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — A police officer who appears to choke a skateboarder and put two others in a headlock in a video posted online has been put on administrative leave while police investigate, officials said.

Hot Springs Mayor Mike Bush said Tuesday that investigators have talked with witnesses who saw the officer, Joey Williams, stop the skateboarders on a downtown city sidewalk last Thursday. Skateboarding is banned in the area.

The video shows Williams apparently choking one of the skateboarders after forcing him to the ground, then later chasing and wrestling two others while holding them in a headlock.

"Unfortunately, the video shows it pretty good," Bush said.

Yes. It's unfortunate when there is evidence documenting police misconduct, isn't there?

Let's see. What would be a good way to keep there from being evidence documenting a policeman going postal on a kid? Hmmm... That's a hard one.

Wait! Here's an idea -- How about the police stop going postal on kids, especially for minor offences such as skateboarding on skateboarding day?

[H/T 2 The Liberty Papers.]

Song of the Day, 6-29-07.

BONUS SONG OF THE DAY!!! What do you get when you cross Star Wars with Deliverance?

And now a word from our sponsors . . .

FurTV 6-28-07.

7-8 PM
Pirate Master, CBS. Two words -- Louie Louie.

8-9 PM
American Chopper repeat, TLC. You just know that at any given moment, at least two of the Paul Sr./Paul Jr./Vinnie trio want to kiss each other.

9-10 PM
Deadliest Catch, Discovery Channel. Burly, bearded men cooped up on a boat together catch crabs. What else could you want?

Bush: "I am wise." and "I exercise a lot."

The president, who regularly goes mountain biking, said "I wisely have convinced a bunch of youngsters here in the White House and Washington to ride with me."
...
He said a fitness culture "starts with families" and said "I exercise a lot because it's good for my mind and it's good for my soul."

It was Nietzche who titled his chapters with things like "Why I am so smart," wasn't it?

P.S. Bush also timidly forays into Captain Obvious territory.

"I also think we spend a lot of money in the education system."

You think, Mr. President? Don't you know? If YOU don't know, who would?

FREE DICKIE!

Paducah business owner defies unjust law.

"I was raised that if you're right you stick to your guns and I think I'm right," said Dickie Todd.

I would LIKE to call him a Randian superhero, but that doesn't quite fit.

"One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws." -- Martin Luther King Jr.

Good.

Like the original Robin Hood, she should have been jailed.

Why Wisconsin Sucks, 6-28-07 edition.

They stomp fish there.

GAY HULK FAMILY, 6-28-07.

Click pic to embiggen.

Song of the Day: Amarillo Sky

Kevin may not approve, what with his alternative proclivities and all.

If they hold a contest . . .

. . . to determine the new ASU mascot, one princess point to each of my minions that nominates "Giant Douche" or "Turd Sandwich".

And why do the Ragin' Cajuns get to keep THEIR name? Shouldn't they be the University of Louisiana at Lafayette Individuals of Unnoticed Ethnic Heritage?

FurTV Tonight.

7:00 - 8:00 -- Home Improvement Reruns (*2) on WGN. Al Borland -- WOOF!

8:00 - 9:00 Ghost Hunters on SCI-FI. One of these days, Jason is going to kiss Steve; I just know it. Or at least take off his shirt. Again. (Voice From The Audience: "Maybe you should email them and suggest it!")

9:00 - 10:00 Destination Truth on SCIFI. Josh is stubble-tastic!

Arkansas Jackboots assault skateboarders!

[H/T 2 The Jones Report.]

When is a pub not a pub?

When it's an embassy.

Pub becomes embassy to beat cig ban.

Here in the states, I don't know if this would work.

You might have better luck becoming a church.

Song of the Day.

Our long national nightmare is over.

Paris Hilton released from jail.

(Ron Paul's still kicking her ass on Technorati, though.)

What's on TV tonight?

7:00 - 8:00
Two episodes of According to Jim - ABC, or . . .
CSI rerun - SPIKE. I have two words for you -- GRIS SOM.

8:00 - 9:00
Miami Ink repeat - TLC. Two more words -- DAR REN.


9:00 - 10:00
John Ratzenberger's Made In America (*2), Travel Channel, or . . .

New episode of Miami Ink, or . . .

ECW, which might not be any good tonight due to the murder/suicide of the Chris Benoit family.

Product Nonendorsement.

Sun liquid laundry detergent makes your clothes smell like diaper ointment.

Product Endorsement: Kickass Raisins!

Big. Juicy. Sweet. Buy these!

In your FACE, crappy little boxes of dried up rabbit pellets!

In his defense . . .

. . . his bicycle was a tease, after all.

A hot tease, at that; leading him on and all.

Huffysexuals of the world, stand up for your rights!

[H/T 2 oddnews.]

Observation.

Hillary Clinton is to individual liberty what Godzilla is to Tokyo.

We all know that in order to meet the challenges of our day -- to lift up our middle class and hard working families; to establish universal health care, energy independence, and fiscal responsibility; to end the war in Iraq and restore our leadership around the world -- we need a government that will rise to the occasion.

Newfound Resource.

Take a look at RogueGovernment.com.

Song of the Day.

comic

McCain, Campaignus Interruptus?

McCain could pull out of race by autumn.

We can only hope.

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

High-Court: Suck my McCain, Feingold!

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Merry AntiChristmas, All!

Mammoth Spring state park pics.

OR . . . you could refrain from capturing them in the first place. DOY!!!

Christopher Dodd wants your children.

Some people look at children and see simple innocence.

Some look at a child and see the future.

Some people look at children and see the unbroken thread of humanity through time.

Christopher Dodd looks at children and sees an untapped resource of unpaid slave labor.

And how does he plan to exploit this vast reservoir of slave labor?

By turning every school in America into a forced-labor camp.

Requiring high school students to perform community service will give them a chance to acquire new skills while meeting the needs of their communities, Dodd said.

These children were forced to "volunteer" to be test subjects in Product Testing of the new Thalidomide-Flavored Pop Secret Popcorn.

Oh, sure. When Kathie Lee PAYS children to work in HER sweatshops, she's suddenly Miss Queen Bitch.

But Dodd wants to turn every school in America into one where children HAVE to work FOR FREE and he's some kind of statesman? Doubt it.

And I somehow doubt that the choices of projects children can (be forced to) "volunteer" for will not include the DEFEAT CHRISTOPHER DODD campaign, or the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws or any other organization the Authoritarians don't approve of.

Maybe it's a good thing that MTV sucks so much ass now.

It gives people an excuse to make their own videos.

That's a helluvan error.

?

Another thing you don't care about.

Currently listening to:

Pepper
by the Butthole Surfers.

Trying to blow out my earbuds with it.

Butthole Surfers - Pepper via Noolmusic.com

---

Get Video Code For YouTube Music Videos 80s 90s - Butthole Surfers - Pepper

I bet . . .

. . . S. Truett Cathy, the guy who bought the "last Ford Taurus to roll off the assembly line," is pissed.

His car instantly went from a collector's item to just another car.

Awright, you freaks...

. . . tell me something.

How does this fit into the general Star Wars continuity?

If I had to guess, I'd say it was after this



but before this.



When's Lucas planning on remastering THOSE, anyway?

Why fans should just call it Winston Cup.

These are what are known as Sprint cars.

According to Marty, next year these will be called Sprint cars too.

If the gawdammd gubmint hadn't made NASCAR change the name of Winston Cup, we wouldn't be changing the name of the series every couple of years now, would we?

Coincidentally, CNN's transcript page is down for "updating."

Anyone else catch the incessant repetition of the retarded phrase "Super Duper Tuesday" on the Situation Room yesterday?

Or the insistence that Arkansas is on the southern border of Illinois?

Here's their transcript page, if they put it back up without going back and revising it.

6/23/07 UPDATE: They have it up now.

BLITZER: A lot -- a lot of wiggle room, as we say, John. Hold on a second.

Candy Crowley is joining us as well. Candy, 22 states, 22 states now have signed
up to hold their primaries on February 5, Super Duper Tuesday, as it's now being
called.

Who's calling it that, other than you dopes who are trying to create a catchmeme?

CANDY CROWLEY, CNN SENIOR POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT: You know, the truth of the matter is we don't know, because we have never seen a campaign like this. We don't know what all those states on February 5 will do to the strategy of those running in the standard states, when you start in Iowa, now Nevada, then New Hampshire, and then South Carolina.

But the fact of the matter is that most of the campaigns will say to you now that Super Duper Tuesday only makes those first four states even more important, because not that many people are going on to come out of those of four states still alive. So, you have to get through those first. And they think it only enhances the reputation of those states.

BLITZER: Would any of the candidates be smart now to sidestep Iowa and New Hampshire, South Carolina, and focus exclusively on Super Duper Tuesday?

CROWLEY: Well, here's what I can tell you. A memo got out, as you recall, from the Hillary Clinton campaign, where one of her deputy campaign managers said, you know, maybe we should just skip Iowa.

And they could not take that back fast enough. Right now, these campaigns believe that only a couple of people are going to come out of Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina. And they need to be in Iowa to play.

BLITZER: Illinois now is going to be on Super Duper Tuesday, February 5. I assume that's great news for Barack Obama. But other candidates presumably will run well there as well.

KING: Well, Illinois, you might know, southern border is Arkansas. Hillary Clinton used to live in Arkansas, although I guess I said she was born in Illinois, and she says she's from New York.

Wolf Blitzer is so desperate to be culturally relevant; I can just see the story meeting where he insisted on repeatedly using the phrase.

And, oh yeah -- note to John King . . .

... a little something exists between Illinois and Arkansas.

No princess points for you!

In fact, I may penalize you all by taking away one princess point from each of you.

Not one of my minions could correctly identify this.

None even tried.

It is clearly the back of Zumbah's head.

Corrupted.

Instead of blogging on the solstice, I spent yesterday (and part of this morning) taking pictures to post.

I had some great shots of the Mammoth Spring state park.

But when I went to look at them this morning, the images were all corrupted.

There oughtta be some sorta anti-corruption law or something.

Quote of the day, 6/20/07.

"But the State Emergency Services boated in a huge beer delivery just in time."

Those Aussies know what's important.

[H/T 2 oddnews.]

Newton: In your FACE, Mayans!

Isaac Newton says we've got 48 more years than the Mayans say.

Da-yum!!! It must be vibrating really hard . . .

. . . to upset the whole subcontinent!

If you work in a convenience store . . .

. . . is it really the best idea to wear a shirt with your name on it . . .

. . . if your name is "Rob"?

Rob is good-looking round, friendly and furry. And doesn't wear a wedding ring, BTW. Would make a nice catch for someone.

Why I never went to raves.

Other than the fact that I live in, like, East Nbyutfuq, Egypt. And the nearest rave was all the way over in Northwest Nbutfuq.

The music they play in raves sounds like this. For hours.

With a lot of annoying people there.

With glowsticks.

And I don't own a pacifier.

Or a Dr. Seuss hat.

Well, I suppose it's better than paying them to be poor.

New York to begin rewarding the poor for good behavior.

Poor residents will be rewarded for good behavior — like $300 for doing
well on school tests, $150 for holding a job and $200 for visiting the doctor —
under an experimental anti-poverty program that city officials detailed
Monday.

Why Bloomberg only wants the poor to behave is unclear.

You reward them for desirable actions, but they don't qualify unless they perform the undesirable action of being poor.

Somehow, Bloomberg has wrapped his mind around a twisted little idea of rewarding both failure AND success.

But only if they fail FIRST, then succeed.

Ow. My head hurts.

At least he's using private funds.

Like you care.

I'm currently listening to Modern Rock Classics on live365.com.

I brought my own earbuds.

Sharing earwax is rather gross.

I suggest the ASU NCAA Shitbag Nutmunchers.

ASU one step closer to caving to the Pussies-With-Easily-Hurt-Feelings Crowd.

Additional stuff here, including some excellent suggestions in the comments.

64%

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

The natural law types wouldn't like what I'm about to do.

This site was designed to give blogs MPAA-type ratings.

This blog, for instance, gets a
.

No big surprise there, although I don't think I should be penalized for using the word "gay."

But I'm going to go against it's natural use and use it to rate the news.

MSNBC and PBS' NewsHour get

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

which might partially explain their abysmal ratings, except that ABC also gets a G, and their ratings are good. CBS News also gets a G, although this site conspicuously notices the network's use of the word "hoar."

CNN gets

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

And Fox News gets

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

They say it's for "sexy gun porn," not necessarily in that order.

P.S. That ThickSlab guy Dave, not surprisingly, gets a NC-17. Unless you run him through Anonymouse. Then he gets a G.

[H/T 2 Kip.]

What do you guys think . . .

. . . about the Internet Radio Equality Act?

It's 6-18-07. What do they want to ban today?

Ginseng exports.

Five princess points . . .

. . . to the first reader to correctly identify what this is:

Here's a hint: When fathers first show it to their children, they often cry in terror.

Another hint: This particular one is proudly displayed in my living room for God and everyone to see.

6-19-07 UPDATE: Apparently, my minions need another hint -- this particular one is battery-powered, but they also come in non-battery-powered versions.

Solstice a'comin'...

Longtime readers of this marvelous little project know that this time every year, I am near manic and/or suffering from what I have termed “future melancholy” or “future nostalgia.”

Future nostalgia is the feeling that right now is as good as it’s going to get and that it’s all downhill from here. It keeps me from enjoying the moment. Right now isn’t so great, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I will feel six months from now, in the grips of seasonal depression.

Now couple that feeling with your mind racing from thought to thought like a hummingbird addicted to meth.

This morning I wondered how much more difficult tagless underwear makes life for blind people. (Sometimes it makes my life more difficult and I put them on inside-out and backwards. I haven’t put them on upside-down. Yet.)

And whether or not when my friend R* mentioned in a phone call Saturday that this was a lucky weekend, he meant “lucky” as in “I found a penny!” or “lucky” as in “I found a penny in there!”

And what is the exact moment to pick my latest tomato to ripen for optimum flavor. (Apparently, 7:01 AM today.)

And about how easy it would be to fix the “why Christians out to hate homosexuals” typo from a few posts ago, but I haven’t done it yet and that by the time I get around to it, my mind will have flitted onto something else.

All at virtually the same time.

After Thursday, the bright, shiny flitting will begin to decrease.

And the darkness will, bit by bit, begin to grow.

Is there some place on earth where it’s always the equinox?

* - R's neighbors listen to the kind of music found here, but as usual this time of year I digress.

What's a non-faithy, un-co-operative type like me . . .

. . . doing joining a faith-based food co-op?

Twenty-five bucks for seventy-five bucks worth of food (and no sales tax), that's what.

Granted, it has limited options.

But then, so does the free market. You can't go into Kentucky Fried and order a Big Mac, after all.

And maybe it will encourage me to eat some beans and carrots instead of Krispy Kremes and pork rinds.

And I can drop out any time I want.

The good thing is, you get a menu for the next month, so you can decide if you want to participate. You're not just stuck with food you don't like, like most cooperatives give you.

It's not welfare; anyone who eats is eligible to participate, and I don't *think* it's run by the government.

Got my first order today. It all looks like really good food. No out-of-date/damaged stuff at all. July's menu looks even better.

You can take a look at the closest participating church to you here, if it's something you might want to look into.

Come. Join the collective. Resistance is futile.

Skylab 2007 Update.

Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
-- David Bowie

ISS computers still failing.

Back at ground control
There is a problem
Go to rockets full
Not responding
"Hello Major Tom
Are you receiving
Turn the thrusters on
We're standing by"
There's no reply.
-- Peter Schilling

Earth below us, drifting . . . falling . . .

Wimmen Are Bad, 6-15-07 edition.

They yank off one of your stones, try to eat it, then claim that they weren't trying to hurt you and are really good people.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact
that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a
violent person."

This cunt should have one of her tits run through a cheese grater.

[H/T 2 oddnews]

Why Wisconsin Sucks, 6-15-97 edition.

Their doctors are undisciplined.

It's June 15, 2007. What do they want to ban today?

Microwave popcorn!

No, really.

Not because of any concerns about the weight of consumers, or health effects of chemicals used in manufacturing or packaging the stuff. No, no.

Seattle wants to ban* microwave popcorn because occasionally some people overcook it and it burns.

But doesn't that happen with virtually all foods?

If things don't improve, a popping prohibition could be imposed, officials
told The Seattle Times for an article published Thursday.

"Perhaps what would happen is there'd be an underground market for
microwave popcorn. People would sneak the microwaves into their offices; they'd
do illicit popping," said Frank Video, a staff member for the Seattle City
Council.

* - in certain city government buildings.

It's summer 1990. (Possibly 1991; I don't remember)

Tom Hanna is in the apartment he shares with Kevin Whited. The three of us are taking summer classes. As usual, I wind up in their apartment after classes are over for the day.

He is poring over the US Tax Code. He does such things; don't ask me why.

He comes across a passage dealing with allowing taxation of the deceased and "nonresident aliens."

This sets him off. He rants for hours about the government taxing dead people and people who aren't citizens of the U.S. and who live in other countries.

I egg him on.

"Well, that's one way to increase your tax base. Make every person on earth pay you taxes."

His snit continues.

Fast-Forward to present-day America.

I hope Mr. Hanna doesn't read SCOTUS blog.

The Supreme Court ruled on Thursday that foreign governments are not immune
to being sued to force them to pay local property taxes on residences for their
diplomats at the United Nations.

"Property ownership is not an inherently sovereign function," the Court
found.

Dead people, citizens of other countries AND their governments. Mr. Hanna wept.

SKYLAB 2007?

I thought about posting this yesterday, but the only reporting I'd heard of it was on CoastToCoastAM, and even THEY didn't have it on their website.

As Reagan would say, with CoastToCoastAM, you have to trust but verify.

They, for instance, in the same show, relayed this story.

But in this case, they scooped everybody.

And Drudge is playing catch-up.

You see, a computer program has sent the International Space Station into an uncontrolled spin.

I dunno, Junior . . .

On paper, signing with Hendrick was probably the best thing you could have done.

But in reality, I don't know how your fans are going to react to team orders for you to cooperate with the most hated man in Earnhardt Nation.

I suppose that's one way to get your fans to stop throwing beer cans at him.

And I don't know how you're going to handle the transition from Big Fish In A Medium-Sized Pond to Just Another One of The Guys.

I was hoping you'd sign with Joe Gibbs, and if Joe couldn't get past the beer thing (which I don't really understand, since unlike Petty he allows "Bud Pole" decals on all his cars), bring back the old yellow and blue Wrangler paint scheme.

Or (and NOBODY was talking about this possibility) Kyle Petty moving to broadcasting full-time, Bobby Labonte moving over to the 45, and Junior taking the seat in the 43, bringing back the Petty Blue paint scheme and STP as the primary sponsor. I know you wanted to stay with a Chevy, Junior, but you forget that Petty himself didn't always drive a Dodge. Maybe he could be convinced to switch the 43 team to Chevy.

I hope Bud will go with you. And I know it's almost certainly not going to happen, but I hope Teresa (or NASCAR, whoever's decision it ultimately is) lets you take the number 8 with you. Your fans could accept you in another number, but I don't know how easily they could accept another driver in the number 8.

Don't let all the bloviators get you down with their insistence that you should have stuck with DEI because it's what your dad would have wanted. They seem to forget that you did just that the last time your contract was renegotiated. You took one for the team, and in the time since the team made no effort to meet you halfway.

Merry Christmas, Phillip!

Expect a press release from Pat Robertson any moment now . . .

. . . citing this as proof that God hates children.

An inflatable toy castle on Maili Beach Park in Honolulu was blown into the
air and then into the Pacific Ocean after the eight spikes anchoring it gave way
to strong winds on Saturday, with two children still playing inside.

Although 5-year-old Jonah Hernandez fell out before the castle entered the
water, 2-year-old Inez Hatori was still inside and had to be rescued.

Why don't they sell cigarettes by the each?

Today marks about a month since I began my latest attempt to quit smoking.

Note that I say "attempt."

Prior to yesterday, I had fallen off the wagon only twice. The first time, the mother of two of my high school friends had passed away. Dealing with visitation night meant dealing with crowds of people, and I needed some way to stave off a panic attack. I bought a pack and smoked it up over the next two days.

Quit again. Was going along great -- no withdrawal, no real urge to smoke.

Then, about a week ago. Plumbing problems. Water (thankfully, pre-flush water) flooding all over the bathroom floor. All day operation. Got thoroughly pissed off and needed a smoke; I guess to punish the toilet or reward myself for dealing with an obstinate toilet or something.

Bought a pack. Smoked it up over the next two days. Half a pack would have been adequate. My snit was over after smoking less than ten. But I had the rest of the pack there, so I had to smoke them up.

Some people say you can store cigarettes in the freezer. I know from experience you can't. They act just like baking soda, absorbing all the odors and rancid flavors floating around in there and wind up tasting literally like vomit. And not good vomit such as spaghetti, either. They taste like the vomit one would have after siphoning a car through a douche hose.

And my thrifty nature just won't let me throw away half a pack of unsmoked cigarettes.

But I stray . . .

Then came yesterday. All it took to set me off yesterday was receiving promotional Marlboro Menthol coupons in the mail, and a mention from my aunt that I had quit smoking. I don't know what it is about it, but I would rather people not talk about me trying to quit smoking. It always causes an urge to fire one up.

She left. I went to the convenience store and bought a pack of Marlboro Menthol 100's. Didn't even use my coupons. They were for cartons and I bought (buy?) mine by the pack.

I still have six of them left.

I keep telling myself that I am not perfect, and if perfection is my goal, I will fail.

And three packs in a month is a helluva lot better than the 2+ packs a day I was smoking.

Right?

I'm John Hutchison and I approve of this message.

See also:



It's also here at Ron Paul Nation and/or FreeMeTV, which for me at least seems a little less grainy/jumpy.

Can I am be an intellectually-elite?

From Mudcat at Time Blog:

Nowhere in my first post did I say I was "anti-blogging". Quite to the
contrary, I said to bloggers who want to take the Democratic Party back into the
big tent, "God bless you and thank you." I was quoted saying after the Webb
election that the "bloggers" led the way. As Casey Stengel said, "You can look
it up." The problem I've got is I'm "anti-losing" and don't like a small group
of intolerant, intellectually-elites continuously trying to shape the "Big Tent" into a "Pup Tent". The blogs are the Democratic Party's greatest source of power and unity. Why would I am be anti-blogging? In other words, I wasn't talking to all of you. Just some of you.

You expect a typo now and then with blogs. They don't have editors to handle these things, after all.

Unless they're run by Big Media.

Like Time.

Here's a screenshot, because Mudcat will undoubtedly go back and fix it now that the anti-intellectually-eliteness of it has been exposed.

Um, HELLO!?!!??

His name is Tyler Whitney, people.

It's not that hard to figure out that someone with a name like that is gay.

If he was straight, he'd have tried to butch it up to "Ty" by now.

She should follow EL SABOT's example . . .

. . . and do all her pooping at the courthouse.

Then she wouldn't have any REASON to steal "their" toiletpaper, which by the way, she helped pay for.

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County
Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three
rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.

I wonder -- was it the taking it out of the storage closet, as opposed to off the little roll thingie, that made it theft?

Because the little roll thingie is there for people to take the toilet paper off of.

Who knew theft came all the way down to the fifth degree? What's sixth degree, finding a quarter on the sidewalk and picking it up, or checking the change slot on a payphone?

I will not confirm or deny rumors that I used to replenish my dorm room's TP supply from the rolls in the bathrooms of public restrooms in our residence hall during my brief stint at state college. Same thing with lightbulbs.

[The lightbulbs were actually somewhat justified. If a bulb in your dormroom blew out, you had to fill out a form and go through all this red tape and it might be a couple of weeks before you got your light on again. Whereas, if a maintenance worker spotted a blown bulb in a common area, he replaced it on the spot, saving a lot of time and expense.]

Gummint Cheese: Weekend Excursion.

Click pic to largen it.

Moby, you're a liberal. You already ARE a vampire!

Dance star MOBY has confessed to fans he would like to be a vampire, if it means he could be immortal.

And the fact that the price of immortality would be parasiting off of others without their consent doesn't bother you?

Of course. It's all about what YOU want. Rights of others be damned.

Your soul is as black as the hole in The Black Hole, Moby.


(Which was a good movie, BTW. Maximillian could kick R2-D2's ass!)

A year after ban, smoke-easies popping up all over Ontario.

. . .adult smokers are taking their business to the black market, denying revenue to Ontario's independent, family-run convenience stores and robbing the Ontario government of millions of dollars of much needed tax dollars.

With tobacco accounting for between 45 per cent and 65 per cent of a typical convenience store's total revenues, it becomes clear that the proliferation of the illegal tobacco market unabated will eventually destroy the family-run convenience store industry in Ontario.

Unnecessary details of Paris Hilton's hygiene.

Drudge was bitching about this on his radio show last night. His gripe seemed to be centered around Paris' new-found modesty after starring in "that video."

He wants there to be an inconsistency there.

There is none.

Question, Matt: Do you mind if your significant other sees you having sex (presumably with her)?

No?

Well, do you mind if she watches you poop?

Would it be a turnon to you if she posed for Playboy?

How about if she starred in one of those German $H1+ videos?

They're Canadian; do they pronounce it "oon't"?

Here's a Torontan headline that should throw all the English teachers in the world into a snit:

That buzz ain't just the caffeine.

Or has this now become acceptable?

If it has, when are we going to finally get around to multiple contractions, such as "He'sn't"?

"To harrass our dolphins..."

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

I hope Anne . . .

. . . calls me a Me-Me sometime.

I would much rather be a Me-Me than a You-You or a Them-Them.

Ayn Rand would wash Anne's mouth out with soap!

:)

Gummint Cheese: EL SABOT confronts someone.

Click pic to embiggen.

Not so "Heee heee" now, is he?

" Stop poking me or I'll jump! I swear to Gawd I will!!! I'll splatter all over your sidewalk!"

What, you prefer the term "bigot"?

Kevin Craig takes issue with those who would call him a homophobe. (See his "Why Christians Out To Hate Homosexuals" [not "homosexuality," mind you, "homosexuals"] here.)

Funny how this supposed Libertarian has crawled all up in the ass of "the laws of nature and nature's God," but is anti "life, LIBERTY, and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS." Why does he claim to be a Libertarian?

The really sad part is, I may have given this asshole some good publicity in the past.

[H/T 2 Positive Liberty.]

Why Wisconsin Sucks, 06-09-07 edition.

They store their barnyard animals in wells.

Death knell for Ferrari, Porsche, Mercedes?

Europe pushing ban on manufacturing cars that go faster than 101 mph.

Why we love John Daly.

The same reason we love Larry The Cable Guy.

His life and problems look an awful lot like our own.

"Man outta be able to do what he wants as long its legal."

In Great Lakes country . . .

. . . they're counting butts.

Nearly 20,000 pounds of trash were removed from Great Lakes beaches by Adopt-a-Beach volunteers last year, and according to the [Butt-Counting] Alliance for the Great Lakes, about 154,000 cigarette butts were a part of that mess.

And a cig butt weighs what? Here's an estimate of 1.5 grams for a whole stick. Let's be generous and say that half of that is the weight of the butt.

So, .75 grams is one cigbutt. 154 thousand of them would weigh 115500 grams, or 254.633 pounds.

265.633 pounds of butts divided by 20,000 total pounds of trash comes to 0.01328165.

So if you banned beach smoking and this somehow kept upstream cigarettes from washing in, thus removing ALL cigarett butts in the area, you still have 98.671835% of the trash to deal with that you had before. Virtually NO difference.

Is freedom so worthless that it is to be given up for virtually no gain?

Dutch: No smoking pot in the pot-smoking shops!

A Dutch smoking ban will come into force in July next year for all restaurants and cafes -- including coffee shops where cannabis is the top attraction, the government decided on Friday.

"Coffee shops will be treated in the same manner as other catering businesses. They will be smoke-free," Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende told NOS television.

"It would have been wrong to move towards a smoke-free catering industry and then make an exception for coffee shops. People would not have understood that."

Biting the Starbucks that feeds you.

Seattle-area group advocates citywide styrofoam ban.

It's not a choice AND they're not born "that way."

It's the nonylphenol ethoxylates, stupid!

Studies have shown NPEs to be potent gender-benders, believed to be responsible for transforming male fish into females in waterways worldwide. Marine scientists at Stony Brook University say NPEs are the likely culprit in the decline of male winter flounder in Jamaica Bay.

The groups calling for a ban of NPEs say the transformed fish may be “the proverbial canaries in the coal mine,” and that human safety issues have yet to be uncovered.

More on the Brown saga.

The jackboots Tazered the dog-walker, although he was not resisting arrest.

After walking down the Browns' long, wooded driveway, he came face to face with a man in camouflage. When Riley asked the man if he was a turkey hunter, he initially got no reaction.

"Then all of the sudden, the guy stood right up in front of me," Riley said. "And with a full camouflage suit on and yelled, 'Freeze.' [Note that the man does not identify himself as law enforcement.] At that point I turned around and ran, ran for my life."

On the video, Riley describes hearing bullets whiz by him as he yelled to the marshals that he was unarmed. Brown said on the radio yesterday that he also heard gunfire Thursday morning from his house. But Monier said that marshals never shot at the dog walker.

"Absolutely no lethal force was ever employed towards him or against him," Monier said.

Once he started running, Riley said that several more marshals emerged from both sides of the Brown driveway. Realizing he was surrounded, he held his hands out in attempt to surrender.

Riley said, and the law enforcement source confirmed, that marshals shocked him with a Taser before handcuffing him and placing him in a vehicle.

The jackboots claim they weren't there to "assault the house" and capture or kill the Browns, but that "they could arrest those who help the couple avoid capture."

And what did the national mainstream media find so important that it had to focus on it yesterday and totally ignore this story? Paris Hilton crying.

Q: How do you raise taxes without raising taxes?

A: By sending out misleading "notices."

SPRINGDALE -- City residents will be receiving an ad valorem tax notice from the city next week, but it's a volunteer tax.

The notices ask Springdale residents to pay voluntary taxes to support the fire department and the Springdale library.

Note to Springdale: if they're voluntary, they're not taxes. Even if you try to deceive taxpayers into thinking they have to pay them.

Questions:

Does the PA system of a minor-league baseball team count as the press?

If so, then why isn't the ACLU all over this one?

Home plate umpire Tyler Ramsey tossed him and ordered the P.A. system shut down after Murray played a sound bite of a Bob Uecker line from the 1989 movie
"Major League" - "Personally, I think we got hosed on that call" - following a
close call against the home team at first base.

Another question: In this era where people are supposedly so all-fired-up about the "integrity of the game," what about the integrity of the announcing? Should the umpires be trying to influence the announcing?

Another question: If he doesn't want to be criticized for hosing a team, why did he hose the team?

Another question: Why is home plate umpire Tyler Ramsey such a f---ing pu$$y?

Bill's Prologue to the Hillary Manifesto.

Here I flash you back to a reminder that Bill Clinton, like his wife, thinks individual liberty is bad.

CLINTON: And so a lot of people say there's too much personal freedom. When personal freedom's being abused, you have to move to limit it.

Suppose Brad Pitt's dead. Does it matter?

Desissified reads this article and wonders how dead Brad Pitt is.

I suppose that if true (which I doubt -- no mention in Google News) it would matter only because it would cause casting problems for the Atlas Shrugged movie. And it would free up Angelina for some opportunistic young man. And I suppose there wouldn't be any good gay vampire movie sequels.

I'm gonna leave the article in an open window when I leave the library, though. Just to cause the others to get all tizzified.

UPDATE: Considering that when you roll over the "home" tab on that site, the link displayed is for "fakeawish.com," the story might . . . just MIGHT . . . be a hoax. Ya think?

Return of the Blue Light Rapist?

Man poses as policeman, pulls over woman and sexually assaults her.

More at KY3.

Flashback 10 years.

Robert Birmingham was convicted of the Blue Light Rapes and given 80 years.

So is this a copycat, or did the wrong man get convicted?

Or were there more than ONE blue light rapists?

Or is he somehow choreographing new attacks from prison?

Hey, we got a better grade than Arkansas.

Missouri gets a D on eminent domain.

Columbia jobkiller/freedomkiller/smoking ban adds another victim.

After 33 years of pool, burgers and beers, Columbia Billiards and Rack ’n’ Roll are nearing their final days.
...
Spudich blames the smoking ban that went into effect in January for hurting business.

“We’ve been smoked out,” Spudich said. “We’ve never had an underage drinking violation. We’ve been doing the right thing for 33 years and all of a sudden, they’ve changed the rules on us.”

Some regulars at the pool halls believe that a smoky haze beneath a table light is a classic pool hall scene. Members of the Pool for Dummies 8-ball league, based at Rack ’n’ Roll, pointed out that most pictures hanging in pool halls feature a player leaning over a table with a cigarette or a smoky background.

Spudich said when smokers are paying by the hour for a table but have to leave the building to smoke, they’re wasting their money. He also said that because most people come in groups to play, the smokers who stay home force friends who do not smoke to stay home as well.

MD cops raid wrong apartment, kick innocent man in the nads with their jackboots.

Silvia Bernal, 30, told The (Annapolis) Capital that about 15 officers burst through the front door of her apartment while she was cooking dinner about 8:20 p.m. She said the officers kicked her husband in the groin while she fled into a bedroom and barred the door with her body.

Note the absence of any REASON to kick the man in the groin with their jackboots, such as resisting arrest.

Coverup.

Dude has green blood.

The Temporal Integrity Commission scrambles to find an explanation and insists that he's really NOT a Vulcan violating the Temporal Prime Directive by being here on Earth long before First Contact.

Tests showed he had taken too many of a headache pill called
sumatriptan.

He was diagnosed a rare condition in which sulphur from the sumatriptan
combined with the blood's haemoglobin to change its colour.

Yeah, right. So why does the article ignore entirely the question of whether or not he has pointy ears and meticulously plucked eyebrows?

Attack of the Islamic Tomatoes!

Uzma Khalid, 19, spotted what looked like Arabic writing on a segment of a tomato which she chopped in half last week.

On closer inspection she discovered the writing mirrored the word 'Allah' - written in Arabic.

She said: "I just chopped the tomato in half and thought I saw the word Allah in it.

"I thought, 'OK that's a bit weird', so I showed it to my mum and she said it definitely says Allah."

Her sister Saima, 22, said the family felt blessed by what happened and even took the tomato to be verified by a local Imam.

She added: "We believe it is a way of Allah showing he exists..."

And apparently he exists inside a tomato.

[H/T 2 oddnews.]

Creationists unable to differentiate between an actor's role and his real life.

The actor, Eric Linden, [whose role is the Biblical Adam] owns a graphic
Web site called Bedroom Acrobat, where he has been pictured, smiling alongside a
drag queen, in a T-shirt brandishing the site's sexually suggestive logo. The
Web site, which has a network of members, allows users to post explicit stories
and photos.

He also sells clothing for SFX International, whose initials appear on
clothing to spell "SEX" from afar. It promotes "free love,""pleasure" and
"thrillz."

Maybe it WAS Adam & Steve after all!

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

WACO 2007.

Feds surround NH home.

"What are they trying to do, start a war?" Ed Brown said of the police
presence near his Plainfield home yesterday. "What do they think we have in
here, tanks?"

Apparently, it is illegal to discover you are under surveillance in the "Live Free or Die" State:

Brown, who called his residence "a house of peace," said a friend took his dog for a walk at 8 a.m. yesterday and never came back.

"The dog came running back in a panic about 45 minutes later," he said.

His friend was taken into custody by federal agents after the man discovered surveillance activity on the property, according to U.S. Marshal Steve Monier.

The Keene Free Press is reporting roadblocks and property siezures.

Excellent blog on the saga here. (Don't be discouraged by the gobbledy-gook that first pops up; apparently, they've messed up their template. Just scroll down below it.)

The government's (almost certainly vastly inflated) estimate of the Browns' unpaid tax amount is $750,000. How much does it plan to spend trying to collect that $750,000?

Gummint Cheese: More EL SABOT Resistance!

Click pic to embiggen.

I like that even better than "The 'It Takes A Socialist Village' Speech."

Kip comes up with an excellent term -- The Hillary Manifesto!

FPT: Famous People Time.

Apparently, FPT applies even if you're famous just for being famous.

Paris Hilton out of jail after 5 days of a 45 day sentence.

Only the little people serve more than 12% of their time.

If she had killed JonBenet or Nicole Brown Simpson and admitted to it immediately, she'd be out by now.

Neosho thinks being NWA-adjacent is a selling point.

Was it Tsongas or Dukakis that called Arkansas a toxic wasteland?

IJ gives Arkansas an F.

Humane Society has a conniption . . .

. . . not about actual cockfighting, mind you.

But about a couple of Arkansas-based magazines that discuss cockfighting.

I agree that cockfighting is repulsive.

But you don't go after High Times when it's the marijuana that's illegal.

Is Joplin's most pressing problem REALLY . . .

. . . "a vehicle driving two times in the same direction past a control point during a two-hour period."?

In Nebraska, English already IS the official language.

GREENWOOD, Neb. -- The Nebraska State Patrol stopped a truck driver who
only speaks Russian, and told him he can go no further until he learns the
language, Omaha TV station KETV reported.

[At this point there is a "Let me see your papers!" exchange.]

The trucker had all his documents in order and a valid commercial driver's
license, but he couldn't communicate with state troopers. Under the law,
troopers were forced to make the driver park his truck and take him out of
service.

They talked to his boss on the phone.

"You need to tell your driver he is out of service until he can understand
English," Trooper Jeremy Radford told the boss over the telephone.

Proposed Rolla ordinance would jail Noah.

While the proposal presented at the City Council meeting Monday sought to
ban both poisonous and non-poisonous reptiles, spiders and insects, Kearse said
there is reconsideration being given to turtles and some snakes.

“We’re not looking at keeping a child from having a pet turtle or a
garter snake,” Kearse said. “That’s not the intent.”

Apparently the intent is to keep adults, however, from having a pet tarantula or iguana.

MERCURY NEWS: Seatbelt no guarantee against ejection from vehicle.

I knew it was nihilist and gawdawful ugly . . .

. . . but I didn't know it could give me seizures.

Defining cruelty down.

In Vermont, the jackbooted thugs apparently think making faces at their canine partners constitutes cruelty.

This monster should be imprisoned.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Baby I'ma Assign You.

As long as we're handing out summer reading assignments, here's my list for Hillary to read.

The Ant & The Grasshopper by Aesop.

The Little Red Hen.

1984 by George Orwell.

The Declaration of Independence.

The Bill of Rights.

After you get those done, Hillary, we'll see about Atlas Shrugged and the rest of the Constitution.

If you're a SIGHTLY beggar . . .

. . . you have nothing to worry about.

Bulgarian women have been banned from hanging out their washing during a
visit by President Bush.

Authorities in the capital Sofia passed a special ruling banning washing
along the route of the president's motorcade on June 11.

They have also started rounding up 'unsightly' beggars and clearing up
rubbish.

Because Gawd knows, the President MUST be insulated from, and unaware of, the existence of poor people in the world!

What was it Ayn Rand said about evading reality?

I'm hoping this . . .

. . . is Jerry Falwell's tombstone.

Brit Brother: You will jog for the master race . . .

. . . and always wear the happy face.

[snip & rearrange]

I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school

Lyrics from California Uber Alles by The Dead Kennedys.

TANGENTIAL UPDATE: China becomes the opposite of Footloose (which I guess would be Foottight) and makes dancing mandatory.

Take your baby by the ears And play upon her darkest fears.

- Dance Hall Days by Wang Chung

And now we take a moment to channel Chandler Bing.

Could it LOOK any more retarded?

Some of the multitude of examples of additional scorn at BCB ("What the heck is that thing?") , Living In The Whine Country ("Lisa Simpson giving a 8l0w j08"), Jules Crittenden (“great big steaming pile of cack” and “pink day-glo pig’s abortion.”) and theospark:


[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

The article's fine, in the middle.

But the beginning and the end of the article are terrible journalism.

First, appropriately, the beginning. The title of the article is Retired Officer Subdues Unruly Plane Passengers. At first, it appears nothing's wrong with it, but a closer, more critical look reveals it to be meaningless. "Unruly" could mean anything from preaching the Pentecost to ripping pieces of the plane off the wall. "Unruly" is a subjective characterization. In your headlines, you should tell us what they did, Mister big-time TV station, not what you characterize they are.

Then the article goes on to detail the actions of two men who screamed, fell down and other things. And two other men, who subdued them.

The article closes with "Both men were taken for a psych evaluation, and at this point, are not facing any charges. "

Which both? The disruptors or the subduers?

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

It's worse than we feared.

From Hillary Clinton's "21st Century Progressive Agenda":

RISING INEQUALITY UNDERMINES THE MIDDLE CLASS.

Nope, nothing Communist about Equalization, is there?

1. Leveling the playing field and reducing special breaks for big corporations. That means scaling back oil and gas subsidies; allowing Medicare to negotiate lower prices with big drug companies; and requiring big oil companies to either invest in alternative energy or pay into the Strategic Energy Fund to spur clean energy research and development.

2. Eliminating incentives for American companies to ship jobs and profits overseas. Specifically, the tax code rewards companies for offshoring jobs by enabling them to defer paying American taxes for as long as they hold the money abroad. The current policy puts companies that create jobs in America at a competitive disadvantage. We must pursue tax policies that reward the decision to create jobs in America, rather than abroad.

3. Reforming the governance of corporations and the financial sector. It is inconsistent with our values to allow CEO pay to skyrocket while workers’ wages and benefits are under threat. There needs to be greater public scrutiny of CEO pay, and more independence of Boards of Directors.

To allow?

From the Communist Manifesto:

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the state, the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

8. Equal liability of all to labor. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

Hillary:

4. Restoring fiscal responsibility to government. That means balancing the budget; saving Social Security; reducing our dependence on foreign creditors (e.g. China); returning high-income tax rates to the 1990s levels; reforming the AMT; and ensuring that corporations pay their fair share of taxes.

Manifesto:

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.
3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance.

Hillary:

5. Give every young person an opportunity to attend college, and ensure that education starts early in life and continues into adulthood. College should be made more affordable so that students of all backgrounds can attend. Also, every child should have ready access to high quality pre-K.

6. More support for community colleges and lifelong learning. We should expand regional skills alliances and other job training programs to ensure workers have the valuable skills they need.

Manifesto:

10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labor in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production.

Hillary:

7. Help working people earn enough to support their families and help them save for the future. That means simplifying and expanding the EITC; overhauling the unemployment insurance system; and making it easier for workers to join unions.

Manifesto:

8. Equal liability of all to labor. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

Hillary:

8. Ensure that every American has quality, affordable health care. It is intolerable that 45 million Americans are without health insurance, particularly considering that we are spending nearly $500 billion on the war in Iraq.

From the Communist Party USA website:

National system of universal health care with the rights of patients and health care workers enhanced and respected.

Hillary:

9. Make investments necessary for creating new jobs. New job sources are needed to preserve and expand the middle class. Investments in alternative energy can create new jobs for the 21st century; expanded access to broadband will bring opportunities to underserved/disadvantaged communities; the manufacturing base can be re-energized through creative partnerships; and innovation—with increased government support for R&D—will help us find and develop the jobs of tomorrow.

Manifesto:

6. Centralization of the means of communications and transportation in the hands of the State.

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the state, the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries, gradual abolition of the distinction between town and country, by a more equitable distribution of population over the country.

The Ominous Parallel Parkings.

Here's a snippet that will really brighten your day:

May 31
THE NEWS OUT OF Washington today is that our very own Caltrans,
Metropolitan Transportation Commission and University of California, Berkeley,
researchers are joining forces to monitor the movements of all vehicles in the
United States.

All gone.

Cable Man came and took the cable box.

As well as HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and the Movie Channel. Apparently, negotiations between those channels and Charter Cable have broken down.

And four remote controls, only one of which belonged to him.

The other three I bought at a yardsale for a quarter apiece after my dog chewed up the one that came with the box.

He didn't even let me get my batteries out.

If I'd known he was coming that day, I'd have hidden all but one.

Cable Man is not one of the good guys.

OK, now you're just making stuff up!

CYBORG MOTHS?!?!!?

[H/T 2 The Jones Report.]

Here is where you wonder if I'm off my meds.

And I'll tell you ahead of time that since I am not ON any meds, the answer is NO, I am not off my meds.

You see, once in a great while there seems to be a correlation between my dreams and an upcoming event.

Note that I did not say that my dreams come true or that my dreams predict the future or that I am psychic. Because as a rational person, I would need more proof that such things actually do happen before making such a claim.

But whatever you call it, it happened just before Memorial Day.

The colors were a little deeper, the mood a little more intense, all the things that in the past have warned me that this was one of "those" dreams.

It involved me finding the body of a family friend, who is approaching 90 years old. She was lying in an abandoned house on her back, with her left arm relaxed at her side and her right arm held at an odd angle, covering her face.

She opened her eyes, but she didn't remember how she got there and could only remember snippets of her life.

Here is where the "those dream-ed-ness" ended and my creative mind took over and tried to make sense of it. It created this whole backstory.

This was the ORIGINAL Lillian, you see. The one whose body had given out on her, so her family had all her memories transferred to a clone that had been artificially aged to her present age. The problem was, this original, like all originals that underwent this procedure, was supposed to die painlessly in the procedure or at the very least have all of her memories erased.

Something had gone wrong this time. This one didn't die and her mindwipe hadn't been total. Some of her memories had been copied rather than transferred. She had wandered in lost, confused partial amnesia, until she found this abandoned house, where she'd slept for who knows how long before I found her.

The dream unsettled me so much that the next day, after taking some flowers to the cemetery, I took my mother over to Lillian's house to check on her. They hadn't seen each other in person more than a handful of times since we'd moved to Thayer, and had talked on the phone too infrequently.

We arrived at her house and she was fine, just as spirited and ornery and full of life as ever. She and my mother had a long afternoon visit.

Days passed, and eventually I began to believe that maybe it had just seemed like one of those dreams.

Yesterday, we received a phonecall.

Sometime over the weekend, Lillian put a cake in the oven and collapsed on the kitchen floor with a stroke. She has lived alone since her husband died, so it's not known exactly how long she lay there, but it was at least half a day before someone found her. Her right side is paralyzed and she can no longer speak.

06/05/07 UPDATE: I didn't connect the dots on this until this morning, so it just seemed like one of those weird dream details, so I didn't mention it. The room I found her in was the kitchen, and in place of cabinets, bolted to the wall, sometimes stacked three or four high, were all these old, I assume non-working, ovens.