The Arkanssouri Blog.: 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Gas Price Alert Level Upgraded.

Originally uploaded by Arkanssouri.
The day before yesterday, the gas price at my local convenience store was $2.449 a gallon. Yesterday morning, it was $2.599.

This morning, it is $2.999.

That's close enough to $3.00 a gallon for me, so I'm updating the alert system to Code White.

The way it's going, though, it won't be long until it's over $4.00 a gallon. If the past two days are any indication, it will happen about Friday.

What's worse than Code White? Code Black?

And what's worse than a CRISIS? Disaster? Armageddon?

Yeah, I walked here to the library this morning.

Shouldn't there be an executive order suspending all gas taxes until the price falls?
And another one preventing punishment of people with gas lawnmowers who don't mow their yards?

[Udate:] About the $4.00/gallon gas? See-I-Told-You-So.

Take note, Hawaii, California . . .

... and all you other price control bandwagoneers.

In Georgia, they get it right, recognizing that, to paraphrase from the Gipper, government overregulation isn't the solution to the problem; government overregulation IS the problem!

Gov. Sonny Perdue announced Tuesday he is taking action to help ease the price jump.

According to a Governor's Office news release, Perdue said Georgia is waiving gasoline regulations to help curb gas price escalation and possible supply issues associated with the hurricane.

"In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, it is important for the state to keep gas prices as low as possible for the people of Georgia and our economy," Perdue said in the release.

The state Environmental Protection Division is waiving state requirements for higher additive gasoline required until Sept. 15, according to the release. Waiving this requirement will allow gasoline suppliers to bring available gasoline into Georgia to help alleviate possible shortages and keep prices to a minimum.

Finger painting.

Make your own here.
Hat tip to smokinmood on the Myway boards.

Two little words.

Martial law.

I get that it's probably necessary in New Orleans. Lord knows a few swiftboats and some helicopter gunships would take care of the looters rather efficiently.

But those two words chill my Libertarian sensibilities to the bone.

They conjure up images of Tiananmen Square, the KGB, and yes, Nazi Germany. Those are the end results of a government that can do whatever it wants without consequences.

Not something we should make a place for in America.

Especially considering the unwillingness of the current government to let go of any supposedly temporary power grabs it enacted after 9/11.

When the government gets power, it always uses it, and never lets it go.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The last thing I need... Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and the NAACP on my ass.

So I will refrain from pointing out that all of the looters I've seen on CNN appear to be of a certain race.

After several days without food or clean water, I could maybe . . . MAYBE understand breaking into a closed store to get something to eat or drink.

But it hasn't been several days.

And stereos and Budweiser do not number among life's necessities. The nutritional value of Diet Pepsi? Zero.

"Price gouging."

Story here.

Ask the people who were running out of gas while fleeing Katrina because they couldn't find a station open if they thought that was preferable to paying whatever the owner of an open wanted to charge.

It's either worth what the owner of the product charges to you, or it's not. If it is, buy it. If it's not, don't.

Would YOU put your life on the line in the middle of a hurricane, or in the sewagy aftermath of one, to make a couple of cents profit on a gallon of gas? Didn't think so. You'd stay out of the area entirely. But for the right profit, you might venture in.

I see nothing wrong with people charging whatever they want to charge for something they own, especially with the danger they put themselves in to stay open. Think of it as hazard pay.

WWJTD (What Would Jim Taggart Do?)

Michigan, Oregon, California, New York and Connecticut jump on the gas price control bandwagon.

Hat tip to Hit & Run. See "Mises Wept."

OSU named a Landthief.

Just added Oklahoma State University to the list at the Landthieves Wiki, thanks to this:

Houses used to stand where the lots are now. Bale said OSU has been buying houses in the area since 1970. One of the houses was seized with OSU’s power of eminent domain and demolished this summer.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Just stoppin' in...

... to tell you I don't know if I'll make it in to blog tomorrow. Car repairs scheduled for tomorrow morning.

And one more thing -- herding 10,000 people into the Superdome -- not the brightest idea.

Even if the dome survives (the roof is peeling off as I type this), what are you going to do with 10,000 people surrounded by flooded streets?


A pic, borrowed from ESPN, from this week's Dallas Cowboys/Houston Texans game:

"Help me, help me! I'm wearing the Ugliest Uniform Ever!"

And that's saying a lot in a league that once had a team in tangerine uniforms with stripey socks.

Let me guess. The designer from the Tennessee Titans, working off old New York Jets sketches, made these from scraps bought at the Oakland Raiders rummage sale.

And the helmets. God, the helmets. What is there to say about the helmets, other than they make my eyes bleed.

Dear God; I hope they don't make the cheerleaders dress up in these colors.

Jimmy Johnson and Troy Aikman are turning over in their graves.

What's that? They're not dead?

No matter. This is enough to make them go dig graves and lie down in them, just so they can turn over in them.

This may even be a worse costume decision than when the Miami Dolphins switched to those tacky University of Miami unis.


They make me want to vomit uncontrollably. They are the uniform equivalent of Lukas Foss' music.

Somebody should pass a law or something.

...the helmets... [shudder].

Saturday, August 27, 2005

It'll be at least Tuesday...

... 'til I can post again. And maybe later than that.

Vent fan went out on my car yesterday.

No big deal, I thought. Just make do until I can change a fuse.

But I popped the hood and saw that the radiator fan wasn't turning.

Very bad.

The mechanic can't even LOOK at it until Monday. Don't know when he'll be able to actually fix it.

I walked to the library this morn. Am going to get my ass wet in a thunderstorm walking home.

But I have beer and Fighting Cock and Jim Beam at home.

Why be sober if life's gonna suck anyway?

New Gas Price Color-Coded Alert System.

Originally uploaded by Arkanssouri.
I've just implemented this. As you can see, we're in Gas Price Alert Level: Red.

But we're rapidly approaching Code White.

See I told you so.

Oooh. The womyn are gonna be SO pissed!

Academics in the UK claim their research shows that men are more intelligent
than women.

We can pee our names in the snow, too.

AND kill spiders!

Tennessee, as we see in the following helpful chart...

... has one of the ten highest murder rates in the country.

So what has the state Attorney General's panties in a wad?

Story here.

Cindy Sheehan, who lives in California,

doesn't contact her own Congressman, no no.

Instead, she wants to glom onto and harrass Tom Delay.

Sounds like a classic case of Texas Envy to me.

Lapdancers, ho!

In Missouri, the inalienable right to perform, or receive, a lapdance has been restored.

I'm thinking roadtrip. To the Assembly of God HQ in Springfield.

Seems like as good a place as any to exercise my rights.

Friday, August 26, 2005

There's an exchange in an old Fantastic Four comic book...

... where (I'm deeply paraphrasing here, 'cuz I'm working from decades-old memories) Ben says "Reed here can make a bomb out of a coupla aspirin and a clock radio."

Reed says, "Actually, I'd need a whole bottle of aspirin to synthesize enough explosive to . . ."

Ben groans.

Turns out, aspirin CAN be synthesized into explosive material.

Which makes this story not so much quirky as ominous, especially in a post-9/11 world.

K-9 2.0?

Given the emaciated budgets of BBC sci-fi shows, maybe they should shop for the new K-9 at the Battlestar Galactica rummage sale.

And why the 4ELL isn't Muffit in the new Battlestar Galactica, dammit?

[Update: And someone tell me why Dr. Who is so much LARGER than his pouty sidekick! This vexes me. Pourquoi dois-j'être si a tourmenté par le clown triste de vie ? ]

Hat tip to Kippy for the Whopic.

Note to Justice Stevens:

It is the easiest thing in the world to do the wrong thing and then say you're sorry afterwards.

What takes true courage, honor and integrity is to do the right thing in the first place.

US Mint eminent domains coin collection.

Story here.

David Lebryk, acting director of the Mint, had announced in a news release that the rare coins, which were never put in circulation, had been taken from the Mint "in an unlawful manner" in the mid-1930's and now were "recovered."

The coins, which are so rare that their value is almost beyond calculation, are public property, he said.

But Berke said Mint officials couldn't prove the coins had been stolen, or were subject to forfeiture.

And why, exactly, does the Mint want these priceless coins? To destroy them.

In its statement, the Mint said officials were still deciding what they would do with the seized coins, which are being held at a military fort. They said they had no plans to auction them but would consider saving "these historical artifacts" for public exhibits. Other double eagle coins seized in the past were melted down.

But why destroy them if their value is almost beyond calculation and they are public property?

Don't look, Callie!

'Cause it seems I have actually found an imperfection in Roger Clemens.

Hairless girlie-arms.

Men should have hair on their arms.

Let's hope it's due to airbrushing.

Nice veins, though.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Our long global nightmare is over.

K-9 and Doctor Who reunited.

But only for one episode.

What's more cheesetastic, Dr. Who or Red Dwarf?

I may as well be asking who John Galt is.

Wax On, Wax Off.

Abomination. Reprehensible. Vile. An affront to everything that is manly.


What's worse; it's catching on.

I'll tell you one more time, people...

... the purpose of the military is to provide for the common defense the most efficient way possible. It is not an employment service.

How a base closing would impact the local economy should not enter into the decision making at all.

These people disagree with me.

The loss of the submarine base would have had disastrous effects on the
state's economy. Economists estimated that it would threaten 31,000 jobs statewide, including more than 8,000 at the base. They feared a threatened ripple effect that would spread to military subcontractors who do work for the base or shipbuilder Electric Boat.

It is not the military's responsibility to provide people with make-work. If the economy's in trouble, why should it be the Department of Defense's responsibility to address it? Don't we have another department for that?

The boardroom.

Hawaii moves to cause gas rationing.

Well, okay, the title of the article is "Hawaii Moves To Cap Gas Prices," but rationing is the logical end result.

Happy B'day, Gene Simmons' Tongue!

Pat Robertson: "I did. Then I didn't. Now I'm sorry I did, but I'm not sorry I said I didn't."

More Fatwa Patty Follies.

For those of you who don't remember, this theocratic nutball ran for President once.

First, Pat Robertson (known in these parts as Fatwa Patty) called for the assassination of a foreign leader.

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," Robertson said.

Then he said he didn't call for the assassination of a foreign leader.

"I didn't say 'assassination,' " the religious broadcaster said Wednesday, explaining his televised remarks about Chavez earlier this week. "I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping."

Then he apologized for calling for the assassination of a foreign leader.

The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network has released a statement in which he says, "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement."

But he doesn't apologize for lying about whether he said it or not. What happened between the "I didn't do it" statement and the "I'm sorry for doing it" statement? Did he suddenly remember that he did, indeed, do it?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Note to self:

103 Proof is more than 86 Proof, which you're used to.

Proposed new light-truck mileage regs.

From Forbes:
The proposed regulations would portion "light trucks" into six categories based on the square footage of the vehicle, or its so-called footprint. Smaller vehicles will have to meet more stringent fuel economy targets than bigger vehicles, and all would have to improve somewhat. By 2011, the last year the regulations cover, the smallest light trucks will be required to average 28.4 miles per gallon, and the biggest must average 21.3.

Question: don't the more stringent requirements for small trucks disincentivise manufacturers from building them? Why build a Ranger when it's both more profitable AND technologically easier to build an Excursion?

And if you're building a truck just smaller than the biggest category, but you can't get the mileage down to the category you're in, what's the logical decision? Make it bigger!

"Reverend Terminator"?

The Trib likes that nickname.

I prefer Fatwa Patty myself.

Weren't we all outraged when Salman Rushdie was on the receiving end of such a statement? What's the difference now?

Means means mean.

Russell's been busy.

I don't know the details of the case, but I have to wonder who initiated the force.

I dunno about that tribe-prosecuting-non-tribe-members, either. Kinda sounds to me like Mean Mr. Means is getting railroaded.

Long, Long Ago In A Maternity Ward Far, Far Away...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

What do Tom Rants and The Arkanssouri Blog have to do with Free Arabic Sex?

This, apparently.

Like Buddha's,

Roger's belly can be rubbed for luck.

Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee.

I desire one.

FYC: Fine Young Capitalists.

Girl rents out backpack space, gets introduced to Objectivism.


Originally uploaded by Arkanssouri.

Pat Robertson: Thou Shalt Ignore The Inconvenient Commandments,

such as the one about killing.

But we don't buy gas in 20-ounce servings.

From a KESQ article discussing the price of gas:

Let's put it in perspective.

Water, the planet's most abundant natural resource. It’s not uncommon to pay a dollar for a 20 ounce bottle from a vending machine or at a convenience store. With 128 fluid ounces in a gallon, that's more than $6 a gallon!

We see here that we can buy Polar water for $4.47 for six gallons. That's less than 75 cents a gallon. Seventy five cents does not equal more than six dollars.

And gasoline does not come out of a spout at our homes for about five cents a gallon, either.

UFB Local 001 Busted.

Well, I'm back. For a few reasons.

The most important of which is that I was forced to end my strike against the economy due to car trouble.

Didn't accomplish a damn thing. In fact, gas prices are higher than they were when I went on strike.

Monday, August 15, 2005


It's on, brothers and sisters!

UFB Local 001.

So I'm going to buy my daily 64 ounce fountain Diet Mountain Dew over the weekend. When I pull into the parking lot of the convenience store, I see that overnight the price of regular unleaded gas has risen two cents per gallon, from $2.359 to $2.379. I go in and buy my soda.

When I come out, I see that the price has risen again in those five minutes, another seven cents a gallon to $2.449.

This has long ago passed the point of getting out of hand. I decided to do something. I am going on strike, both as a producer and as a consumer, until the price of gas falls below two dollars a gallon.

That means no blogging. While it's true that taking my $1.42 per week I spend on driving to the library to blog (I figured up the cost last night) out of the economy won't make a difference, it is part of a bigger strategy -- don't buy anything that is not truly necessary. I'm even going to quit shaving during the strike so I don't have to buy shaving cream and razor blades.

It also means no email, so if you need to get ahold of me, you'll have to do it the old ways-- snail mail or phone.

But why isn't a good Libertarian just letting the free market run it's course, you ask? Simple. The petroleum processing and delivery system is far from a free market. In a free market, petrol processing plants could go up anywhere the company owned land, as long as they kept their pollution from affecting the neighbors. But as it is now, zoning laws and the like codify NIMBY into law and a new oil distillery hasn't been built in this country in thirty years.

So, I guess I am the United Federation of Bloggers Local 001. The local numbers are first come, first claimed, so if you want to join the UFB, you're welcome to do so. Just keep in mind that blogging while the union is on strike is the equivalent of crossing the picket line, or hiring yourself as scab labor.

During the strike, I will be keeping The Strike Diaries at home. I will publish them here when (if) the strike ends.

With all that said, I guess there's only one thing to do.

Found this looking for another union sign...

... which I'll explain in a few moments.

In the meantime, take a gander at this.

So a temporal vortex opened up in my bedroom...

And this fell out of it.

I don't know if it's from our own future or an alternate one.

But if it's ours, let's HOPE it's Newt/Bob and not Candace/Roseanne.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Blunt launches EDTF website.

Article here.

Keep up with developments of the Missouri Eminent Domain Task Force here.

Here are my suggestions I sent them via this page:

I realize that an outright ban on the exercise of eminent domain isn't going to happen in my lifetime, but I do have a couple of suggestions for legislating a definition of "just compensation."

1. A lifetime lease given to the owner of any owner-occupied dwelling taken by eminent domain.


2. In addition to the "fair market value" of a property, the government must also offer to move the house to whatever new location the owner finds.

3. Legislating a definition of "just compensation" in eminent domain cases, spelled out in terms of multiples of the property's assessed value, with the minimum being ten or twenty times the assessed value. While that may sound expensive, the government will be less likely to take property it doesn't have a legitimate NEED for if it has to pay such a cost.

Creepy picture of the day.

Story here. Try not to snicker at the title of the article -- Praying Mantis Makes Meal of a Hummer.

It's his birthday. Why not give him a Hummer?

"I have shoplifted in my heart."

Jimmy Carter's druggie grandson cops a plea.

No jail time? I've seen the price of those video game consoles. It ain't peanuts.

I guess it's true. It's not what you know; it's who you're related to.

Since my comments don't make it past El Donaldo's censors . . .

... I'm putting them here, instead.

In this self-aggrandizing post, Trump writes:

If you have to lie, cheat, and steal, you're just not doing it right. My
career is a model of tough, fair dealing and fantastic success--without shortcuts, without breaking the law.


Like I said, these people give business a bad name. They've served to associate it with scandal, untrustworthiness, greed, and bad taste. But, as I prove everyday, it doesn't have to be that way at all.

The comment I tried to give him was this:

Really, Mr. Trump? "Fair dealing"? Is that what you call trying to steal the homes of little old ladies via eminent domain so that you can have more space to park limousines? Is that how you "prove it everyday"?

Being one of the little people, I expected to be ignored. But perhaps you should not take actions you are unwilling to defend, Mr. Trump.

"If you have to lie, cheat, and steal, you're just not doing it right." How does this NOT apply to what you tried to do to Vera Coking?

[Update: Ike at Accentuate the Positive had a similar experience detailed here. Trump did him one better than ignoring him -- he excerpted the good things Ike said about the blog and cut out the bad things.]

[Update 2:
Trump: Verb. To break wind from the anus, to 'fart'. E.g."There's a disgusting smell in here. Has someone trumped?"

Noun. 1. An act of breaking wind.

2. The resulting smell of having broke wind from the anus, a 'fart'. ]

Friday, August 12, 2005

The problem, you see...

... isn't that the wheels of bureaucracy turn slowly.

The problem is that clocks measure the torpid pace.

The Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles' solution?

Hide the clocks.

What's next? Putting up screens around the road crews so that no one can see that "Men at Work" means "Four Men Leaning On Shovels Watching One Man Work"?

[Hat tip to Kippy. He probably hates that I call him Kippy. That's probably why I do it.]

$10,000 Karate Hookers!!!

Now that I have your attention, here's the lyrics from a cassette single I bought for a dime at a yard sale today:

Chris Isaak
Wicked Game
We were on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange {world} desire make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you
What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
And I wanna fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
And I don't want to fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
{World} was on fire
No one could save me but you
Strange {world} desire make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
And I wanna fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
And I wanna fall in love
[This girl is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you
Nobody loves no one

A Killer Among Us.

Mitchell Johnson, one of the Westside killers, walked free yesterday.

He served seven years for killing five people.

That's less than one year and five months for each murder.

Ask yourself, with all other considerations aside, is there someone you would kill if you knew that the only repercussions for you would be one year and five months in jail?

I'm guessing the families of the victims have someone they would kill if they knew they'd only serve 17 months in jail.

His name is Mitchell Johnson.

I'm still hoping they can go after him with civil suits and take a portion of every paycheck he gets for the rest of his life, so that every time he cashes a check, he has to think about the evil he committed.

If he had an ounce of true remorse in him, he'd get one of those guns he's so fond of and turn it on himself.

WWCSD ("What Would Colonel Sanders Do?")

I know one thing. He wouldn't, and in fact didn't, ban smoking in KFC.

What a seatbelt can do for you.

"I put my hand up and felt blood and then I was hit again. It was a hard object like a weapon, not a fist."
The voice from behind him said: "Come on, give it up.
"It's not worth it, I've got a knife." Mr Cornall tried to dart from his car, but became entangled in the seatbelt.

The passenger got out and, with his victim's head wound pouring with blood, searched through his pockets, snatching some small change.

Mr Cornall got free and fled to the side of the road while his attacker drove off in his cab. Huddled against a barbed wire fence, the victim watched as his car turned round and sped towards him.

He told the court: "I heard the wheels spinning as he turned the car round and then I saw him driving quickly. He came off the road and went straight for me. I tried to jump out of the way, but he hit me then hit a tree. I fell on top of the bonnet and he reversed back on to the road. I couldn't hold on and when he came to a stop, I was thrown off on to the ground."

Full story here.

CNN's Situation Room is a joke.

Must Wolf Blitzer remind us every twelve seconds that we are in the Situation Room? And isn't it he who is in the Situation Room, not us? I've got a feeling that I'm about to have three hours of free time in the afternoons. Even the show's Inside The Blogs segments, because you never know when they'll be aired, aren't enough to hold my attention past today.

But once in awhile, I may drop back in to gawk at the spectacle briefly. As I would any other train wreck.

Here is further evidence why I've renamed Blitzer He-Who-Asks-Stupid Questions:

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: Good afternoon, Wolf. The former president, I was watching that interview, former President Clinton, he hasn't lost his fastball. He's still pretty smooth. I got to thinking though what it might be like to have a Clinton back in the White House. We all remember the relatively peaceful pre-9/11 days when President Clinton was in office. There was no war on terror; no U.S. troops getting killed in Iraq; budget surpluses; a booming economy; impeachment. His last year in office, oil cost about $30 a barrel. Gasoline was a buck and a half a gallon. Sex scandals. Whitewater. If Hillary is ever elected, Mr. Clinton would become the first first husband in our nation's history. Consider those possibilities. All that time and no responsibility for running the country.

Here's the question: Would you like to see President Bill Clinton back in the White House? You can e-mail us at caffertyfile -- which is one word -- We'll read some of the responses a little later in the program.

BLITZER: All right, Jack. But that has a double meaning. Would you like to see President Clinton back in the White House as first spouse or as president?

CAFFERTY: Well, yeah, I mean -- no, well, he can't be president. That's -- you know, it's constitutionally prohibited. No, the only way he'd be back in the White House is presumably that he remains married to Hillary and Hillary becomes the nation's president.

BLITZER: So what you're saying is -- in effect, you're saying, would you like to see Hillary be the president of the United States? Is that the question?

CAFFERTY: No, that's not the question. Where is it. Wait a minute. Let me read the question. Would you like to see President Bill Clinton back in the White House? Maybe it's a little misleading. In the capacity of first husband.

BLITZER: I get it now. Okay, I get it. As opposed to hypothetically if they changed the Constitution, and he could be president. He's only what, 59 years old.

And another instance:

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: You know, NBC's got that Martha Stewart "Apprentice" show coming up in the fall along with -- and they got these awful promos they're running, with Donald Trump and Martha Stewart where she straightens his tie. I mean, it's just icky. Just following up on the Martha Stewart thing.

BLITZER: Does she do anything with his hairdo?

In the same segment, a viewer calls out Blitzer on the inanity of the show:

[Cafferty:] And finally, Steve in Ft. Worth, Texas writes to say: "Jack, tell your buddy Wolf Blitzer I'm not in THE SITUATION ROOM. In fact, I'm in my living room on my sofa." Geez.

Glad to see I'm not the only one aghast at the sheer idiocy of the show. Steve from Fort Worth, God Bless You.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

And now a word from Mullah Santorum.

This whole idea of personal autonomy, well I don't think most conservatives hold that point of view. Some do. They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues. You know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can't go it alone.

Details here. (Listen to the article.)

[Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan and Q&O.]

My Republican friends, it is people like Senator Santorum that are the reason I don't vote Republican.

TO kicked out of training camp.

Terrell, can you say "I can throw a tantrum like a three-year-old?"

I knew you could.

What you need, like any spoiled baby, is a good spanking.

Fifthnail Killer seems to have killed before.

The Fifthnail Killer almost confesses to the killing of two sisters in 1996.

Story here.

I may have to fire up the Puffington Host again,

just so I can update the Blogfire of the Vanities.

'Cause, you see, The Donald has his own blog now. Of course, I doubt we'll see any authenticity there, because the following just wouldn't look good:

August 12, 2005:

I'm spending much of the day looking for
little old ladies whose houses I can try to steal via eminent domain. God knows, the beautiful people need more parking spaces for their limousines, you know. And just because that one bitch won her case doesn't mean I can't go after the rest of those people. We can't have the poor interfering with our fabulous, wealthy lives, now can we?

Dammit, the chauffer stocked the bar here in the stretch limo with $1500 a tin beluga caviar. Doesn't he know I demand at least $2500 quality? Can't any of these f-cking people get anything right? Why do they have to ruin my day?

Oh, look. A little girl walking a puppy. I'll quit posting for the day so I can go strangle the mutt. People like me can do that. All I have to do is bribe her parents with my pocket change to keep them from filing charges or going to the press.

Remind me to have my toupee dry-cleaned later. I spilled Grey Poupon on it during last night's martini-and-coke party after the symphony. Oh, wait. Sometimes even I forget it's not a rug.

The Donald.
No, wait, that's Mr. Trump to you.

[Hat tip to Techwhack News.]


Alleged Dirty Bomber Jose Padilla.

I'm probably not the first one who's noticed the resemblance, but it struck me this morning while looking at

Damn comment spammers.

Anyone know where I can get a good (free) Captcha script to cut & paste into my comments section?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Three riders, one seatbelt in use.

The one wearing the seatbelt gets grave injuries. The others don't.

Story here.

Man, restrained by seatbelt, drowns.

In the New River incident, authorities said Wilson was still buckled in his
seat belt as firefighters removed his body from his upside-down truck.

Story here.

Jeb wades into mascot idiocy.

Story here.

I have a suggestion. All schools with some derivation of Indian as their mascots must stop using the Indian. But they CAN (and indeed MUST) choose one of the other Village People.

I'm hoping Arkansas State University chooses the Leather Daddy.

The first year, the budget for the ASU Leather Daddies' mascot costume wasn't much.

Helicopter shot down.

No, not in Iraq. In New Mexico.

Should we cut and run and get out of Bernalillo County?

If it had happened between 1/20 and 9/10 2001,

you just KNOW the media would put how "the Bush Administration" failed us/covered it up/was just inept.

But in these articles about how some of the 9/11 hijackers were identified in 1999 or 2000, one word is entirely missing. Clinton.

The story from:

The NY Times.
The See-B.S. Network.
Chicago Tribune.
Houston Chronicle.
USA Today.

Even The Washington Times and Fox News. So much for their radical conservative bias.

The Technorati Equivalent of a Google Bomb.

So I'm looking over Technorati this morning, and I see the top search is "Bush Indictment." What? He's been indicted?

No. This, my friends, is a Technorati Bomb. And this post, unfortunately, will help to perpetuate it.

Mediaflect 'splores the phenomenon here.

Transparent Grid explores it a little better here, including identifying the originator.

[sigh] No wonder I only get 40 hits a day, if the search engines are THAT irrational.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

World's Smallest Political Quiz, Condensed Version.

Go here to take the WSPQ 2.0.

[Hat tip to Ho'T.]

Atlas Pigfarmed.

Eminent Domain: If you take it, I'll raise hogs.

Have you smelled a pig lot?

[Hat tip to RAOK]

If you're reading this blog . . .

. . . I knew it. I just knew it.

It's dark in the closet. Come on out, man.

Monday was a really bad day for Elizabeth Vargas.

Peter Jennings died Sunday night.

Monday, ABC news reporter Elizabeth Vargas' husband was shot in the head.

Hang in there, Elizabeth.

Want a ruptured bladder?

Then wear a seatbelt.

Dr. Erwin Thal, a surgeon at UT Southwestern Medical Center, says car accidents are the most common cause of bladder injury in the United States. If a person has a full bladder and is in a car accident, the seatbelt could cause the bladder to rupture.

Full article here.

Good thing he was a smoker.

Article about how a cigarette lighter saved a man's life here.

Seat belt used by kidnapper to restrain victim.

Article here.

"Inside the Blogs" survives, sort of.

I watched CNN's Situation Room yesterday. There were three segments on what's being talked about in the blogosphere, but they seemed to be only a minute or two long each, and not very deep.

And while Inside Politics had it's two segments more or less rigidly scheduled, the three segments on SR give me the impression of being sort of these free-floating, formless things.

The whole show, in fact, reminds me of stream-of-consciousness rambling nonsense.

McCain-Feingold be damned.

Heh heh heh.

This was from a moisturizer sample I ordered from Loreal. They let me type my own message in.

Hopefully, I reached a couple of mailmen.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Kos caught stealing bandwidth of small-time blogger.

Captain's Quarters calls out Daily Kos on their redistribution of bandwidth belonging to Joe Sherlock.

[Full disclosure here, I have in the past, due to my own ignorance on the matter and to Blogger's now-rectified difficulty in posting images other than by linking to them, engaged in a little bandwidth theft myself. I don't do it anymore.]

Remember a quaint little phenomenon called the Evening News?

Jesse McKinley of the NYT points out how bloggers are speeding up the news cycle.

[The article link goes to the Charlotte Observer, because I can't find the story on the NYT, but it's the same article.]

I remember a time when people waited until 5:30 PM to get the news of the day. Then came hourly updates on the radio. Then came CNN. Now comes the blogosphere.

We are the blog. Your political and ideological diversity will be assimilated into our own. Resistance is futile.

The Biases of Linking.

Corante has an interesting piece on the inherent biases of links in blogs.

But, being the good Libertarian that I am, I am NOT suggesting we need an Affirmative Action Linking Plan.

CNN's Situation Room begins today...

... replacing Inside Politics.

If IP's "Inside the Blogs" doesn't make the transition to the new show, who's up for a Million Blogger Cybermarch on CNN?

I knew that city sounded familiar.

Since the Kelo decision, I've been wondering why the name New London sticks out in my mind.

Now I know.

How about a new New London city slogan -- "New London, where private property doesn't exist, and where we like our cops stupid."

Hat tip to this letter-to-the-editor writer.

Atlas Smoked.

ND man becomes Randian superhero.

An excerpt:

Dennis Laches, owner of a television repair and laundromat, posted a sign on the door that said he's closed up shop because of the new [anti-smoking]

Even an intercession by Mott Mayor Troy Mosbrucker on Tuesday afternoon
didn't change his mind.

Laches, 59, a smoker himself, said if he can't legally smoke in his own
building, he won't keep it open.The laundromat owner said the business barely
paid its own bills anyway, but if he can't be there all day like he usually is
to keep an eye on the water pipes and fuse box, he won't be there at all.

Mosbrucker tried to persuade him to open it a couple of hours a week for
the custom cutters, at least, but Laches said they should blame the
inconvenience on state leaders, not him.

Fromage de gouvernement.

"Vie. C'est une tapisserie cruelle tissée des cheveux pubiens de chiennes américaines frigides." -- Reddition Singe.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Oh, man.

Some days NOTHING goes the way it should.

I am 71% Evil Genius.
Deceitful & Crazy!
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Kindred souls.

By now, you're familiar with Soul Nanners and Currency Messages.

I found some people who think like I do -- Found Magazine.

In Arkansas, our strippers take pride in their work.

No half-assed spanking here, by Gawd.

One of the Important Questions of our time...

... why do men have nipples?

To give them a place to keep their clothespins.

And they're not in jail why?

If you cashed a check written to someone else, your butt would be in the slammer.

So why aren't Democrats who cash checks written to Republicans sharing a cell with Bubba?

And how does one "inadvertently" cash a check written to someone else anyway? Don't you have to forge their endorsement of it?

Oooh. This is priceless:

Democrats say they have sent a refund check back to Anheuser-Busch.

"Nobody should expect us to write a check to the Republican Party," said
Lachlan McIntosh, the Democratic Party's executive director.

No. Nobody should expect you to have cashed it in the first place.

Oh, Jesus-fuqqing-Christ!

Dear NCAA:

Let's just name all school mascots The [insert school name here] Pussies, shall we?

Because that's what you're trying to turn people into.

And why are you ignoring the specific cultural sensitivities of cowboys? Why do Indians get your protections, but not cowboys?

Cowboys are people, not mascots!

60 years ago today...

Note to the President:
A few of these would do an awfully good job off rooting OBL out of the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Thoughts on the Novak Incident.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the whole moment was staged. It DOES provide an awfully convenient way for CNN to keep Novak off their air until after the conclusion of the Plame investigation.

If he'd stayed on the air, CNN would either have to grill him about the leak case whenever he's on, or be criticized for NOT grilling him. This way, he's comfortably out of the picture.

And Carville, usually easily rattled into histrionics, DID handle the whole thing very easily.

My guess is that Carville, Novak, and the producers planned the whole thing. The moderator may or may not have been in on it. He got flustered, but that may just have been a "He's actually going through with it!" moment.

At last word, CNN refused to say whether Novak was on paid leave or not. I guess that doesn't really matter, though. The guy's loaded. It's not like he was living paycheck-to-paycheck. He could afford to blow off a few CNN pay periods. And he's still got an income from his column.

Gummint Cheese.

Je n'a pas mangé de fromage ce jour, et a passé la nuit avec la coup de poignard de faim comme ma maîtresse.

Tel est cette balle gigantesque de merde nous appelons la vie.
-- Rendre le Singe.

Friday, August 05, 2005

This guy's neighbors need to get a life.

Apparently, they think that somewhere in the Constitution is some right not to have neighbors with giant blue birds perched on their houses.

Story here. Hat tip to The R Man.

HELP SAVE BLUE BIRD! Emails for relevant city officials are as follow:
(I can't find any for the Greendale WI Historic Preservation Board.)

Scott E. Leonard Email:

James M. Birmingham Email:
Sally A. Chadwick Email:
John R. Hermes Email:
Stephanie S. Mares Email:
Allan D. Sikorski Email:
James F. Strange Email:

Joseph M. Murray Email:
Todd K. Michaels Email:

Nope, no bias there.

I distinctly remember a segment of Crossfire where James Carville goes on an obscenity-laced, taking god's-name-in-vain tirade against Tucker Carlson. It's conspicuously absent from the search engines I'm trying to use to find it, but it is discussed here. And Tucker Carlson mentioned it on the final episode of Crossfire.

From what I remember, no disciplinary action was taken against Carville.

Yesterday, in the Strategy Session of CNN's Inside Politics, Robert Novak said "This is bullshit...just let it go," and walked calmly (I saw it; in no objective measure can it be called "storming") off the set, knowing that he was about to be asked about the leak case, which he is prevented from discussing due to a gag order. CNN knows he cannot discuss it, and was going to ask him anyway.

This tells me CNN was not trying to get information. They were trying to hang him out to dry. They knew he had two options -- 1. Answer their questions and go to jail for doing so. Or 2. Follow the law and don't answer their questions and look like he is evading the answers.

The choice was, in fact, bullshit.

He chose a third way -- call it like it is and refuse to provide the rope for his own lynching.

I'd have done the same thing.

CNN suspended him indefinitely. Apparently, only liberals can spew obscenities on CNN.

I kind of think Carville knew it was coming, because although the moderator Ed Henry got flustered by Novak standing up, taking off his microphone, and walking off the set, Carville seemed unphased by the matter and kept on talking.

I would LOVE to know what the behind-the-scenes types on Inside Politics were saying in Novak's ear, because his reaction doesn't match what was being said onscreen at the time.

Although CNN hasn't said so, I think today may be the last day for Inside Politics. Starting Monday, the time slot will be filled with something called The Situation Room, anchored by He-Who-Asks-Stupid-Questions*. So unless IP is rescheduled sometime else, it looks like it may have bitten the dust.

At least they went out with a bang.

I just hope "Inside the Blogs" can still find a place somewhere on CNN.

[Update: You can read a transcript here, for now at least. I can't guarantee how long CNN will keep it up, but here's the moment in question:

NOVAK: A couple of points here: The first place, don't be too sure she's
going to lose. All the establishment's against her and I've seen these
Republican -- anti-establishment candidates who do pretty well. Ronald Reagan, I
guarantee you that the establishment wasn't for him. We just elected a senator
from Oklahoma, Senator Tom Coburn, everybody in the establishment was against
him. She might get elected -- So, wait. Just let me finish what I'm going to
say, James. Please, I know you hate to hear me, but you have...

CARVILLE: He's got to show these right wingers that he's got backbone. Show
them you're tough.

NOVAK: Well, I think that's bullshit. And I hate that. Just let it go.

(Novak leaves set.)

HENRY: OK. James, what do you think though, seriously about this Senate
race, James, that the -- that basically the Katherine Harris and Bill Nelson, if
they do square off, what do you think -- what will that mean for Bill Nelson?
He's considered an endangered incumbent.

CARVILLE: Yeah. I don't think -- I think it's actually pretty good news
that far down, because I think they thought this speaker would be a tougher guy.
It was just one of these things. I think Nelson's feeling pretty good right now.
It won't be a primary. He'd rather not have a primary. But I suspect he's
feeling pretty good.

See what I mean about the reaction not matching what was said onscreen?]

Thursday, August 04, 2005

And now for something completely different. And silly.

Why? Because I CAN!

Must I remind you that I am easily amused?

Whither goeth Kippy?

So I'm doing my daily check of (which I haven't gotten around to adding to my blogroll yet, because I can still get there through A Stitch in Haste. I am SUCH a lazy bastard.).

This comes up.

Come back to us, Kippy! Our lives are drab and dreary without you!

"Dude, Where's My Penis?"

"Men report that they use dude with women with whom they are close friends, but not with women with whom they are intimate," according to the study.

But what if they're intimate with men? Can they say "dude" then?

More on the deconstruction of the word "dude" here.

New poll.

This article is neither remarkable, nor surprising, but its title does give me an idea for a new poll.

MEN ONLY (or, to translate for you fymynysts, MYN ONLE), take a moment to take the poll over toward the middle of the left-hand column.

Is this the Antichrist?

First successfully cloned dog.

I had to amend that. I first wrote "First dog successfully cloned," but when I read it I realized some smarta$$ would ask, "Which one, Barney or Miss Beasley?"

But back to the subject at hand. I have a question. Why aren't Snuppy and the donor dog identical? Look at the sizes of the white spots on their chests.

Computer usage at the public library: Zero dollars.
Microsoft Internet Explorer: Zero dollars.
Listening to a sultry yet authoritative woman playing the part of an old male college friend: Priceless.

I tried signing up with, but they don't support Atom feeds. So I guess I'll have to settle for listening to Miss Tom once in awhile. Maybe sometime she'll say "stagnant water."

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


One sucker per minute.
One blog per second.

It won't be long until we've got 'em outnumbered.

(Update: BBC story here.)

From Our Poor Richard's Almanack Department:

Anonymous blogger's anonymity challenged in court.

Councilman Patrick Cahill seems oblivious to the amount of publicity and traffic he's generating for this blog. Like it or not, blogs are largely marginalized and ignored by the mainstream. I really doubt large numbers of people were changing their opinions based on this blog.

But now that he's given it all this free publicity, maybe they will.

I have three words for this loser. Let. It. Go.

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