The Arkanssouri Blog.: 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004

Saturday, May 29, 2004

That giant sucking sound you hear is the new Thayer Elementary Temple to Socialism sucking even more taxpayer money down the drain.

Apparently, moving to a new school building makes children forget how to safely cross streets.

They've made do at the old elementary for HOW many decades now without a covered walkway? Yet now they supposedly need a new one.
Yet another example of the raiding of taxpayers' pockets.

In Honor of Memorial Day

I can write nothing more appropriate than this, from George Jones.

50,000 Names

There are teddy bears & high school rings
& old photographs that mamas bring
That daddies with their young boys, playing ball.
There's combat boots that he used to wear,
When he was sent over there.
There's 50,000 names carved in the wall

There's cigarettes, & theres cans of beer
& notes that say I miss you dear
& children who don't say anything at all.
There's purple hearts and packs of gum
fatherless daughters and fatherless sons
& there's 50,000 names carved in the wall

They come from all across this land
In pickup trucks and mini vans
Searching for a boy from long ago
They scan the wall and find his name
The teardrops fall like pouring rain
& silently they leave a gift and go

There's stars of David & rosary beads
& crucifixion figurines
& flowers of all colors large and small
There's a Boy Scout badge and a merit pin
Little American flags waving in the wind
& there's 50,000 names carved in the wall.

"I don't like it, so it should be banned."

I wonder, does this include Viagra ads? Levitra? Enzyte? How about family planning clinics? Pictures of a man and a woman kissing (Because make no mistake, if it's a man and a man kissing, SOMEONE's gonna complain)?

How about Depends undergarments?

Hell gets a little more crowded.

Story here.

Good Bad TV and Bad Good TV

Critics hate 'em; America loves them.
The Five Best Bad TV Shows of all time:
1. The Dukes of Hazzard
2. Married With Children
3. Knight Rider
4. Laverne & Shirley
5. Walker, Texas Ranger

Lifetime Achievement Award goes to:
Sid & Marty Krofft (HR Pufnstuf, Sigmund & The Sea Monsters, Land of the Lost).


The media critics' darlings, but they're just awful.
The Five Worst Good TV Shows of all time:
1. The Star Trek cartoon (even the trekkies don't claim it.)
2. Freaks & Geeks
3. Hawaii Five-O
4. My So-Called Life
5. Capitol Critters

Lifetime Achievement Award goes to:
Oprah Winfrey (Oprah, Dr. Phil, Beloved).

Butt Paste

I don't think this will do much to improve Nascar's redneck image, but it's funny as hell.

Thank Gawd for C-Span.

With the "mainstream" media virtually refusing to acknowledge the existence of Libertarians, at least we can count on C-SPAN to cover the LP convention.

And as long as we're talking gas prices ...

I just want to remind those of you paying more than two bucks a gallon this holiday weekend that there are untapped oil reserves in ANWAR, which we COULD be using to drive down gas prices and make the US energy self-sustaining.

And why can't we tap them, you ask?

Because the Democrats think caribou are more important than people.

I hope that makes you feel better, knowing that you're paying Gawdawful gas prices so that caribou will be spared the horror of having to look at oil derricks.

From the state that elected Jesse The Body Ventura...

... we find that their state government has gone absolutely bonkers regarding gas prices.

Friday, May 28, 2004

"Hey, baby. Into man worship?"

In a piece on niche dating services, we find the following: How's this for niche: only fans of Ayn Rand need to enter. It's a truism that the secret to a long-lasting relationship is if couples can find common ground on important issues. Users of Atlasphere .com already know this, because Rand told them what to believe. The site is built for connecting admirers of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. It seems Rand is more popular with men (554 profiles) than the ladies (163 profiles).

Korean Atlas Shrugged.

I *hope* the description of Ayn Rand's philosophy as "subjectivism" is an error of translation, because other than that, this is a pretty good piece.

(For those of you non-ivory-tower types out there, Ayn Rand's philosophy, Objectivism, is the exact opposite of subjectivism.)

Jennifer Verner describes Teddy The Hutt to a T.

Jennifer Verner of comes up with the most accurate description of Ted Kennedy I've ever seen.

Making Forsyth Child-friendly/Adult-surly.

Apparently, they dislike adults in Forsyth so much they want to turn the city into Disneyland.

How about you zone stores that sell tampons as "adult businesses?" That's a wagon I think we can all jump on.

Profiling in Missouri? Surely NOT!!!

I normally don't put much stock in those who complain about racial profiling, but when there is a 40% disparity, you've got a problem. This story comes from the Compost-Distressed:

Blacks are stopped more than whitesBy WILLIAM C. LHOTKA
Of the Post-Dispatch

African-American motorists were 40 percent more likely to be stopped by police in Missouri last year than whites, and black and Hispanic drivers were twice as likely to be searched by authorities as whites after a stop, a statewide report says.

Those figures are nearly identical to figures in the traffic stop report for 2002 compiled by Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon. They are gleaned from 1.36 million traffic stops by 616 law enforcement agencies.

However, both Nixon and Scott Decker, a criminologist at the University of Missouri at St. Louis, say that racial profiling cannot be proved or disproved by statistics alone.

"Analysis of the data - particularly the data supplied by individual law enforcement agencies - has proven to be a springboard for constructive dialogue between the agencies and the communities they serve," Nixon said.

Both the 2003 and 2002 reports show that the rate of contraband found in searches of drivers was higher for whites (23.2 percent) than either blacks (17.3 percent) or Hispanics (14.6 percent). Still, blacks were 77 percent more likely to be arrested than whites.

James Buford, president of the Urban League, says the report once again comes as no surprise.

"I compliment the attorney general on publicizing it. But this is the third or fourth year and it doesn't get any better," Buford said. "Those of us being profiled, knew it. There is nothing being done to alleviate it."

Buford suggested legislation that would have consequences. "Let's say the first time, the police department gets a warning. The second time, state or federal funds are withheld."

Decker says he has found a similar trend in the reports of other states and local jurisdictions. Those states include Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. Illinois has no law requiring traffic-stop reports based on race.

Blacks and Hispanics are stopped more often and are searched more often, but police find more contraband in the possession of white drivers, the reports show.

"It suggests either that a lot of searches of blacks and Hispanics are on a mandatory basis or whites are stopped more selectively" because of suspicious behavior, Decker said.

In St. Louis County, with a 16-and-over population of 790,046, county police made 63,527 stops last year, the report shows. The population of St. Louis County is 78.14 percent white and 17.25 percent black. Police stopped 43,973 white drivers and 18,005 black drivers. Based on the white-black population, blacks were 84 percent more likely to be stopped than whites.

Officer Rick Eckhard said county police have a harsh written policy against racial profiling, and the issue of diversity is covered at length in training programs at the County's Police Academy.

"We like to think that every stop is based on reasonable suspicion and probable cause only," Eckhard said, adding that the Department's Internal Affairs had only two complaints of racial discrimination from individuals last year.

In the city, police stopped 16,362 white motorists and 14,995 blacks. St. Louis has a 16-and-over population of 268,345, of which 47.56 are white and 46.57 are black, with the remainder listed as Hispanic, Asian or other. Whites were slightly more likely to be stopped than blacks.

In Jefferson County, blacks were 19 percent more likely to be stopped than whites. In St. Charles County, blacks were 288 percent more likely to be stopped than whites.

Decker said such a seemingly startling number in St. Charles County might be showing a weakness of the report. Since it relies on population figures for each locale, it can't account for the many blacks who work in or travel through places like St. Charles County or Clayton but don't live there. While the population of blacks living in such places may be small, the number of blacks driving the roads on any given day may be much larger.

Decker said he was concerned about two trends: an increase in the stops of Hispanics in southwest and southern Missouri, and a continuing high rate of African-American arrests in the suburban central corridor along Highway 40 (Interstate 64), from Clayton to Chesterfield.

Police departments deny racial profiling. Decker said the high rates reflected either profiling or traffic patterns of heavy usage by minorities on the thoroughfares through those cities.

Decker noted one more trend, a declining interest in the annual reports by law enforcement agencies on the one side and advocacy groups on the other.

Figures of the Missouri Highway Patrol show that troopers stopped 279,406 white motorists and 19,443 black motorists last year.

The statewide population of drivers 16 and over was 4.33 million. Figures show that 85.24 percent of those drivers were white and 10.25 percent were black.

The figures show that white drivers were 71 percent more likely than black drivers to be pulled over by the patrol, according to the report.

The Missouri Legislature ordered Nixon to compile the annual reports and police agencies to report every traffic stop in 2000. The report made public Thursday was the fourth.

Nixon said 56 agencies this year failed to report traffic stops in 2003, and 59 agencies last year failed to report traffic stops in 2002. Nixon turned the agency names over to Gov. Bob Holden, who has the authority to withhold funding from agencies that fail to comply.

Reporter William C. Lhotka
Phone: 314-615-3283

Thursday, May 27, 2004

They stole my idea, then went back in time and posted it.

I was planning this morning to discuss whether or not Jesus was the first Libertarian. Armed with such Jesus quotes as "Let whoever among you is without sin cast the first stone" and "Judge not lest ye be judged likewise" and "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord" I was ready to assert that he was.

But I got here and asked Jeeves "Was Jesus a Libertarian?"

And found other people have already staked their claim to the argument.

There are a couple of examples here and here.

Still no motive found in WP triple homicide.

The dreadful News-Leader tells us it's still not known why she did it.

Less Christmas presents to buy, maybe?

Good News for people who form their political opinions from The Simpsons.


Bob Redman believes goats can consent.

I found this on Opinion Editorials.

[On the Libertarian Party website] Under "Sexual Rights" I read:

"We believe that adults have the right to private choice in consensual sexual activity. We oppose any government attempt to dictate, prohibit, control, or encourage any private lifestyle, living arrangement or contractual relationship."

I asked myself, what about polygamy, goats, and anything else our fertile imaginations can posit?

Mr. Redman, go to the dictionary and look up the following words -- consensual and contractual. Note that goats cannot legally consent to anything, nor can they enter contracts. If you believe they can, go to the nearest psychiatric facility as soon as possible.



Libertarian Party convention

The glorified coloring book has a story on the beginning of the LP's national convention.

Maybe if the mainstream media would tell people we are NOT the party of Liberal Rastifarians (Ok, bad example) or Lesbian Unitarians or Contrarian Librarians more people might show up.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Shackle The Citizenry Campaign runs through June 6.

Put on your shackles, people. Or Big Brother will make you pay.

GAO greenlights White House interference in elections.

It's a lengthy story, so I'm just gonna excerpt, but you can read the whole thing here:

But in the flap over what Democrats charge is the administration using public resources to heighten the president's appeal, a recent GAO ruling permitting outright electioneering by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy has escaped notice.

The ONDCP reauthorization bill that has passed the House but stalled in the Senate is an opportunity to unravel a contradictory tangle. Congress needs to square the contradiction between ONDCP's statutory responsibility to advocate a partisan political view – that is, to oppose state drug reform initiatives – versus the prohibition on federal officials using public resources to influence the outcome of an election.

The need for congressional resolution is heightened since, echoing a prior ruling by the U.S. Office of Special Counsel, the GAO has granted the White House drug czar full license to try to influence the vote on state ballot initiatives, amendments and referenda. On March 10th, the GAO informed John P. Walters he can campaign at will under ONDCP's congressional mandate of "taking such actions as necessary to oppose any attempt to legalize" drugs.


By the GAO's lights, Walters can use tax dollars to loose whatever fictions he wishes upon the land since it saw no need "to examine the accuracy" of an ONDCP pre-election letter to prosecutors nationwide calling on them to oppose what the letter termed "campaigns to normalize and ultimately legalize the use of marijuana." In accompanying material, ONDCP made reference to "state initiatives" and the need for prosecutors to dispel the alleged myths that support their passage.

The GAO decision came in reply to a complaint from Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) regarding ONDCP's efforts in 2002 to sway voters in several states, including Nevadans deciding on whether to regulate and distribute marijuana.


How do you fertilize a beef plant?

Some beef plants clamoring to conduct mad-cow testing is the headline.

The Health Nazis set their sights on Bolivar.

This comes from the Bolivar Herald-Free Press.

A smoky issue

By: Justin Ballard 05/26/2004

How soon could Bolivar be a smoke-free community?

The days of smoking cigarettes inside public buildings and workplaces in Bolivar may be numbered.

Following in the footsteps of larger cities (Springfield and New York) and entire countries (Ireland), which have banned smoking in public places, local advocates are close to approaching the Bolivar Board of Aldermen for a similar resolution.

"Local physicians will be asking the city council to go smoke-free citywide, hopefully in the not-too-distant future," said Jim Blaine, a Bolivar physician and member of the Mayor's Council on Health and Fitness. "Things are starting to happen. Overall we're making strides."

The push for a citywide smoking ban is supported by strong medical data that shows second-hand smoke is just as deadly to a non-smoker as a smoker, putting those who do not smoke at risk, despite their choice not to smoke.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently published an advisory notice for cardiac patients to avoid second-hand smoke completely.

The advisory is based on a study done in Montana where heart attacks dropped dramatically after a smoking ban in Helena.

"Second-hand smoking is the third leading most preventable cause of death in America," Blaine said. "There are more than 53,000 deaths annually because of it."

Health officials stress they are not trying to make smokers stop or infringe on their right to smoke, but emphasize the right of everyone to breathe clean air.

"People quit smoking to go to church for an hour or to go to a movie," said Michelle Morris, director of the Polk County Health Center. "We've started a new campaign in Buffalo and here called 'Take it Outside.' A lot of kids and adults who work in our community don't have the choice of leaving when someone is smoking. We'd like for everybody to quit, but we know it's a difficult habit to break, so we're asking people to just smoke outside in open air places, away from others who don't want to be exposed to second-hand smoke."

That request to smoke outdoors also extends to parents of children who smoke in the car or at home. Exposing children to second-hand smoke is known to cause a long list of health problems including asthma, respiratory problems, ear infections and other ailments.

Increasing awareness about the effects of second-hand smoke on children and adults is a goal of the health department and several groups in Polk County that support a smoking ban.

A 2003 study by the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services reported that 22.9 percent of Polk County residents smoke. In the Southwest region that number jumps to 26.7 percent, which is in line with the state average of 26.6 percent.

"We just want to breathe clean air," said Polk County Health Department health educator Sandra Zanaboni. A former smoker herself, Zanaboni knows quitting is not easy but realizes the effects smoking has on everyone's health are serious.

"The harmful effects of smoke on people with asthma or other breathing problems are well known," she said. "Now the CDC's recommendation that cardiac patients avoid second-hand smoke because it increases their risk for heart attack proves that second-hand smoke is truly a public health issue."

Rising health care costs have also given priority to smoking bans from the medical community. Billions of dollars are spent annually on smoking-related health illnesses, most of which are funded through federal or state programs. Much of the 1998 tobacco settlement money sent to Missouri was used to cover budget shortfalls instead of offsetting healthcare costs and providing educational programs to prevent or stop smoking. Missouri ranks last in money spent on prevention and cessation programs in the country despite receiving more than $249 million from the settlement. Smokers' rights issues have been at the heart of the debate over passing legislation to prohibit smoking on a citywide basis.

The Springfield City Council recently passed an ordinance that prohibits smoking in many restaurants but has a long list of stipulations that make it ineffective. Ireland legislators banned smoking in workplaces and its bars and pubs in March and New York City officials passed a ban on smoking in bars last March.

Other states have adopted similar bans on smoking and seen a positive trend in the overall health of their populations.

At the same time many restaurants that have gone smoke-free have not reported a significant drop in business.

"There are restaurants in town I would really like to eat at," Morris said. "But I won't because I don't want to walk through the smoke. That's my personal choice."

Question: If you hire a housekeeper, or a gardener, or a handyman, or a babysitter or a washing machine repairman, doesn't your own home become a place of business? And are you then banned from smoking in your own home?

Strip club owners fall in with a bad crowd.

It seems John Kerry has locked in support from the Titty Jiggle constituency.

Kerry gets Google-bombed.


If you search for "waffles" on Google, the first result is John Kerry for President's webpage.

How long until the same happens for "flip-flops"?

Grandma confesses in WP triple homicide.

This story comes from today's dreadful News-Leader:

Grandmother held in killings of three
Pamela K. Burns admitted shootings to authorities, statement says.

By Ryan Slight
News-Leader Staff

West Plains — Tricycles sat idle Tuesday under a strand of yellow police tape that highlighted one of dozens of apartments in Plainview Estates.
It was inside No. 1003 in the 2700 block of Burke Avenue where West Plains officers found Keith A. Bennett and his two children shot dead "execution-style" Monday afternoon.

Within 24 hours, Pamela K. Burns — Bennett's mother-in-law and grandmother of 6-year-old Klover M. Lawrence and 4-year-old Keith A. Bennett II — reportedly confessed to killing all three.

But authorities can't say why.

"I don't know what the motive was," said Missouri Highway Patrol Sgt. Martin Elmore, who spoke for the multi-agency law enforcement investigation. "I just don't have any information that would play to that at this point."

Authorities charged the 51-year-old Pomona woman with three counts of first-degree murder and three counts of armed criminal action.

Associate Circuit Judge David Evans ordered Burns to be held without bond at the Howell County Jail after her Tuesday arraignment. Burns is scheduled to appear at a court hearing early next week, Assistant Howell County Prosecutor Rizwan Ahad said.

West Plains police officers were called to a medical emergency with "CPR in progress" at the apartment at 3:22 p.m. Monday. They arrived within two minutes, Elmore said.

Sandra Bennett, Bennett's wife and Burns' daughter, met officials and first responders at the residence after she apparently placed an emergency call.

Police found 28-year-old Keith Bennett on a couch with an apparent gunshot wound to the head, said a probable cause statement filed by Det. Richard Rhoads. Authorities recovered a handgun, but declined to say where it was found.

The children were in a bathtub in the apartment's main bathroom, officials said. They also appeared each to have a gunshot wound to the head.

Officials did not indicate whether the apartment had been broken into.

"I've not heard anything to lead me to believe that there was any ransacking or things of that nature," Elmore said.

A Howell County coroner pronounced each victim dead at the scene, the probable cause statement said.

Southwest Missouri Forensics was scheduled to conduct autopsies on the bodies late Tuesday, officials said.

Burns allegedly confessed to killing each victim when interviewed by authorities.

"The confession was audiotaped and heard by officers from all agencies involved," Rhoads wrote in his report.

Officials contended that Burns posed a threat to the community because of the "violent nature" of the offense.

The suspect bowed her head and made no comment as she left the West Plains Police Department for a jail booking, clutching bottled water and cigarettes against her slight frame.

At Plainview Estates, children frolicked across the grass between houses in yards adjacent to the Bennett residence.

Danny Gannon, a neighbor who arrived home shortly after the shootings, said the incident startled what he considered a peaceful, crime-free community.

"It is surprising that this happened so close to us," he said, shaking his head.

The West Plains man said initial news of the children's deaths prompted fearful reactions from many residents in the northwest West Plains neighborhood.

Neighbors "were pretty well terrified by it," Gannon said. "It's just unusual for it to happen."

Police requested and received assistance from the Missouri Highway Patrol and the Howell County Sheriff's Department throughout the investigation.

Ahad said a prosecuting attorney's office investigator was working with law enforcement to complete the investigation. He expected the interviews to be completed in a couple of days.

Several officers worked the case straight through the night Tuesday until charges were filed, Elmore said.

"I think it's really rough on everybody," the sergeant said. "It is fatiguing and it's difficult. ... They're all tough, but they are especially hard to handle when there are kids involved."

Authorities could not recall whether law enforcement agencies in the region had ever dealt with a triple homicide.

"Usually they are in the single variety, and it's pretty rare around here," Ahad said. "We've had a couple of twos, but not three."

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

How long 'til the radar-detector manufacturers start making a "GPS Blocker"?

This comes from :

GPS decision starts privacy debate anew
By Robin Topping
Staff Writer

May 20, 2004

A Nassau County Court judge's decision establishing the state's first limits on police use of the Global Positioning System is likely the first link in what could become a chain of litigation defining how government can track its citizens, legal experts say.

Judge Joseph Calabrese this month agreed with a Lawrence man who said police should have obtained a warrant before they planted a GPS device on the car he was driving as part of an investigation into a string of burglaries. Calabrese ruled that police now have to first show a judge they have "probable cause to believe evidence of a crime is likely to be found" by using a GPS device.

At the same time, Calabrese decided that prosecutors can use incriminating GPS evidence against Richard Lacey at his trial. Lacey claimed that police had violated his privacy and Fourth Amendment rights against unreasonable searches and seizures. However, the judge said Lacey didn't "have a reasonable expectation of privacy" because he wasn't driving his own car and it was being used "for the sole purpose of furthering a criminal enterprise."

It is not clear whether the case will be appealed. But already, there have been legal challenges to police use of the devices in more than a half-dozen states. It seems inevitable, lawyers say, that such challenges are headed to higher courts, as part of the struggle between privacy concerns and government surveillance.

Defense lawyers say the courts have to impose controls over such novel technology.

"It's another example of the courts ... dealing with cases based on technological advances that didn't exist 10 or 15 years ago, so it's a sound decision from that point of view," said Barry Kamins, a law professor at Brooklyn and Fordham Law Schools who wrote the search and seizure handbook.

Civil libertarians are concerned that the ease of the technology will make it tempting for police to use. "This worries the hell out of me because it is so easily done and there is nothing we can do about it," said John Wesley Hall, an Arkansas attorney and expert on government searches.

Hall says those challenging police use of GPS - with or without a warrant - are at a disadvantage because a public street is not considered a private place and the door has already been opened with past decisions on older technology.

"If the police are tailing you or following you with a helicopter, how is that different? You're going down a public highway ... " Hall said.

Local law enforcement officials contend GPS is just a high-tech version of conventional police surveillance. Nassau Police Commissioner James Lawrence said, "It's tantamount to a cop following someone around. There is no listening device, no camera."

Nassau prosecutors, in fact, argued in pretrial hearings that they didn't need a warrant for the GPS device in the Lacey case, based on a 1983 U.S. Supreme Court involving a now outdated beeper method of tracking vehicles.

"Our position was that the law allows it without a warrant," said Nassau Chief Assistant District Attorney Patrick McCormack. "The issue is this: What expectation of privacy do you have when walking down the street or driving your car down a public street?"

But Calabrese wrote that he was guided by more recent rulings, such as a 2003 opinion out of Washington State's Supreme Court, which said police had the right to plant a GPS device on a murder suspect's car, but only after getting a warrant. The man unknowingly led police to his daughter's grave, after denying knowledge of her death.

Lacey's attorney, Bruce Barket of Garden City, says a warrant is vital. He said, "If they don't need a warrant, what is to stop them from following a defense lawyer during a hotly contested trial? Or monitoring a fringe political group?"

Lawrence, however, said GPS is used sparingly and only in appropriate cases. He said the advantage of it is that police don't have to dispatch teams of officers and risk exposure and they can view the information at any time.

Defense attorneys acknowledge there is little they can do to stop the technology because it already has a firm foothold in the law. "It's Orwellian and it's creepy," Hall said, "but the problem is that the roots of the issue have been resolved long before GPS came along."

Gorby may as well have claimed to be "taking time off to be with his family."

This comes from the St. Petersburg Times:

Gorbachev Quits Social Democrat Party

MOSCOW -Former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev has resigned as leader of the small Social Democratic Party of Russia (SDPR) after falling out with its chairman, Samara governor Konstantin Titov.

Gorbachev announced his resignation at a meeting of the party's Political Council in Moscow Saturday after "losing political and human faith" in Titov, a source in the party quoted Gorbachev as saying.

The source said that Gorbachev praised the initial progress made since the party's registration in 2002, but then attacked Titov's behavior ahead of last year's State Duma elections, Interfax reported. During the run-up to the December elections, "intrigues emerged, some project, which boiled down to Titov trying to privatize the party," the source quoted Gorbachev as saying.

SDPR failed to either collect the required 200,000 signatures for the December 2003 elections or pay the 37.5 million-ruble ($1.25 million) fee to get on the party list ballot. Despite his resignation, the former Soviet leader decided to stay on in the party, but warned that the SDPR will not "develop properly" if his criticism is not heeded. SDPR's next congress in September is expected to confirm Gorbachev's resignation.

Titov responded to Gorbachev's criticism Sunday by noting that all but two members of the Political Council voted for the former Soviet president's resignation. The council has 29 members, according to SDPR's official web site.

Titov said his differences with Gorbachev were "more personal than public."

Nolan, Nolan, Nolan.


I agree with you that there probably WERE racial issues at work, but you can't request to be fired and then be upset that they fired you.

Today's Howard Roark Award goes to Joy Gamble.

This story tells us that, yes, Randian superheroes DO still exist, just as surely as do Wesley Mouches.

Norwood has an infestation of developers Joy Gamble was sweeping bugs off her sidewalk when I drove up to her house at 2641 Atlantic in Norwood. "Welcome to the slum,'' she said. "Would you like a tour?''

She was joking to deliver a pointed message - like the ones on the signs in her front yard: "If you want this property, you should have bought it in 1969.'' And, "Stop Eminent Domain Abuse.''

Atlantic Avenue is the key property in a game of Norwood Monopoly - a quiet neighborhood of dueling yard signs, posters in windows, even a painted van. Most of the signs say, "We support Rookwood Exchange - Let's make it happen.'' The bright yellow van says, "Held Hostage.''

Five homeowners are "hold-ons.'' (Gamble doesn't like to be called "hold-out.'') But about 60 are eager to sell to Jeffrey R. Anderson, developer of Rookwood Commons across Edmondson Road, so that the shopping center can spread out and eat up two more blocks of houses.

On Thursday, the lawyers made their final arguments. Dana Berliner and Scott Bullock of the Institute for Justice in Washington, D.C., defended the "hold-ons.'' They said Norwood never proved the neighborhood fits the definition of "slum,'' "blight'' or "deteriorated.''

The city unfairly "loaned'' its eminent domain powers to the developer, which is paying for legal battles and condemnations, and that's "a blatant misuse of those laws,'' Bullock said.

"Outside of putting someone in jail, taking away a home ... is one of the most serious things government can do.''

It seemed obvious that Norwood was wrong.

But then Tim Burke, representing Norwood, made strong arguments for eminent domain. Many homes are too close to a busy street, and backing out onto Edmondson is hazardous, he said. Lights from the Rookwood parking lot are so bright residents across the street can read a newspaper at night without turning on a lamp, he said.

Norwood desperately needs to remake itself after years of declining industry and lost jobs, Burke told Judge Beth Myers. With 330,000 square feet of office space, 221 apartment units, 2,000 parking spots and 220,000 square feet of retail, the city could bring in $2 million to a debt-busted city and $400,000 for schools. "It is a public purpose to improve the economic welfare of the people,'' he said. "The neighborhood has been slowly strangled.''

I flipped and decided maybe Norwood was right.

But then I remembered who did the strangling. Not the homeowners. Norwood and the developer created Rookwood Commons. Now they say homes next door are "blighted'' by it - so they can expand it and blight some more.

It's like the time my sister licked every chocolate in the box so she could have them all.

I don't blame the homeowners who want a generous buyout. But the houses on Atlantic are no slum. A few are showing their age, but they were built in the late 1920s - and who's going to paint a house that might be flattened by a Crate & Barrel?

Joy and her husband, Carl, have been in their brown stucco three-bedroom house for 35 years. They've raised two children there. They have a cozy back yard like a secret garden, where the noise from the I-71 trench and all the traffic at Rookwood Commons is just backup music for whirring cicadas.

I'm glad I'm not the judge who has to sort it all out.

But the only blight on Atlantic is bugs and developers. You can sweep them away, but they keep coming back.


From an otherwise run-of-the-mill piece by Jason A. Trommetter:

A second grade teacher in South Carolina is explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that we have a Republican president in office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George W. Bush.

Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl.

"Rachel," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?"

"Because I'm not a Republican," says Rachel.

"Well, what are you?" asks the teacher.

"I'm a Libertarian and proud of it," replies the little girl.

The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Rachel, why are you a Libertarian?" she asks.

"Well, my Mommy and Daddy are Libertarians, so I'm a Libertarian, too."

"Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Libertarian. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, what would you be then?"

Rachel smiled. "Then we'd be Republicans."

Who knew the 'O' in O.J. stood for O'Fallon?

This is from

Rascals to mark O.J. Simpson anniversary with Sports Criminals Night

May 23, 2004 - It started with a Ford Bronco slow speed chase and it ended with “The Trial of the Century.” As the O.J. Simpson saga nears its 10th anniversary, the River City Rascals of the Frontier League will remember this historical event and other infamous sports notables with Sports Criminals Night on Tuesday June 2nd at T.R. Hughes Ballpark in O’Fallon, Missouri.
A special trivia contest will be held in-between innings over the course of the 7:05pm game with the winner receiving airfare and hotel to Jamaica. The game also has a special twist designed to let one fan potentially ‘steal’ the big prize from another.

“T.R. Hughes Ballpark will be transformed into a virtual prison for the night, but we’re making sure that everyone has a great time,” said Phil Giubileo, Rascals Director of Broadcasting and originator of the night. “True crime is a phenomenon with networks like Court TV and popular crime documentary shows, so in a strange way this night will celebrate how these sports criminals and suspects have changed the media.”

Every inning one lucky fan will get to answer a trivia question and win the chance to go to ‘Dugout Jail’ to watch the game from the Rascals dugout for an inning.

Fans who wear jerseys of any pro athlete convicted of a crime will also receive a free general admission ticket to the game as well as anyone who presents a sports card of a convicted pro athlete at the ticket window. A special “jailhouse” menu special will be available for fans who want the full jailhouse experience.

West Plains Triple Homicide

This from the dreadful News-Leader:

Father, 2 kids killed in West PlainsKeith A. Bennett, 28, and his children were apparently shot to death, police say.

By Matt Wagner

Law enforcement officials are investigating a triple homicide in West Plains involving a 28-year-old man and two children who were apparently shot to death Monday.
The victims were identified as Keith A. Bennett and his children: daughter Klover Lawrence, 6, and son Keith Bennett II, 4, all of West Plains. All three died from gunshot wounds.

Their bodies were found shortly before 3:30 p.m. at an apartment in the 2700 block of Burke Avenue, said Jeff Snyder, a dispatcher with the West Plains Police Department. The apartment is part of a small complex in the northwest part of town.

Officer Jeremy Pounders was dispatched to a "CPR in progress" at the address, where he and first responders encountered Bennett's wife, Sandra, Snyder said.

Sandra Bennett apparently placed the emergency call and was being questioned at the police station late Monday, he said.

"We don't have any suspects or anybody in custody as of yet," Snyder added. "They're just trying to piece it together at this point. It's real strange."

In his five years as a dispatcher with the department, Snyder couldn't recall any triple homicides in West Plains.

The Howell County Sheriff's Department and Missouri Highway Patrol are also assisting in the investigation, Snyder said.

I wonder what he did to piss of the Clintons.

This story comes from ic Liverpool.

More clues to 'snake death'
May 22 2004

American detectives have released more information surrounding the bizarre death of a Scotsman found half-a-mile from a box of deadly snakes.

Detectives say Garrick Wales ordered the snakes over the internet from a "reptile dealership" in Florida before police found his body in a rented car near a local airport,

Detective Eric Knowles, of the Little Rock Police Department, who is investigating the death, said that the snakes were transported from Florida to Little Rock National Airport at Mr Wales's request.

He understood Mr Wales, 48, had also taken delivery of other snakes on previous trips to the United States.

Detective Knowles said police still knew little about why Mr Wales ordered the snakes, what he had intended to do with them or where the other snakes were.

"Whether he had a snake fetish, we just simply don't know," he said.

Little Rock police found Mr Wales, from Kilmacolm, Strathclyde, dead in his car on May 13. He was pale and surrounded by vomit.

A local electrician discovered a wooden box containing four deadly African snakes near a motorway half a mile away the following day.

The box contained a 14in twig snake, a 6ft green mamba, a 4ft black mamba and a 5ft forest cobra. All four could be deadly and the box was said to be marked with warnings of its contents.

It will not be known if Mr Wales died from snake bites until reports came back from post-mortem and toxicology tests.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Don't like the weather? Wait a quarter century; it'll change.

A post on reminded me of this warning from the ecoweenies.

April 28, 1975
The Cooling World

There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production– with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth. The drop in food output could begin quite soon, perhaps only 10 years from now. The regions destined to feel its impact are the great wheat-producing lands of Canada and the U.S.S.R. in the North, along with a number of marginally self-sufficient tropical areas – parts of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Indochina and Indonesia – where the growing season is dependent upon the rains brought by the monsoon.

The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologists are hard-pressed to keep up with it. In England, farmers have seen their growing season decline by about two weeks since 1950, with a resultant overall loss in grain production estimated at up to 100,000 tons annually. During the same time, the average temperature around the equator has risen by a fraction of a degree – a fraction that in some areas can mean drought and desolation. Last April, in the most devastating outbreak of tornadoes ever recorded, 148 twisters killed more than 300 people and caused half a billion dollars' worth of damage in 13 U.S. states.

To scientists, these seemingly disparate incidents represent the advance signs of fundamental changes in the world's weather. Meteorologists disagree about the cause and extent of the trend, as well as over its specific impact on local weather conditions. But they are almost unanimous in the view that the trend will reduce agricultural productivity for the rest of the century. If the climatic change is as profound as some of the pessimists fear, the resulting famines could be catastrophic. “A major climatic change would force economic and social adjustments on a worldwide scale,” warns a recent report by the National Academy of Sciences, “because the global patterns of food production and population that have evolved are implicitly dependent on the climate of the present century.”

A survey completed last year by Dr. Murray Mitchell of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reveals a drop of half a degree in average ground temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere between 1945 and 1968. According to George Kukla of Columbia University, satellite photos indicated a sudden, large increase in Northern Hemisphere snow cover in the winter of 1971-72. And a study released last month by two NOAA scientists notes that the amount of sunshine reaching the ground in the continental U.S. diminished by 1.3% between 1964 and 1972.

To the layman, the relatively small changes in temperature and sunshine can be highly misleading. Reid Bryson of the University of Wisconsin points out that the Earth’s average temperature during the great Ice Ages was only about seven degrees lower than during its warmest eras – and that the present decline has taken the planet about a sixth of the way toward the Ice Age average. Others regard the cooling as a reversion to the “little ice age” conditions that brought bitter winters to much of Europe and northern America between 1600 and 1900 – years when the Thames used to freeze so solidly that Londoners roasted oxen on the ice and when iceboats sailed the Hudson River almost as far south as New York City.

Just what causes the onset of major and minor ice ages remains a mystery. “Our knowledge of the mechanisms of climatic change is at least as fragmentary as our data,” concedes the National Academy of Sciences report. “Not only are the basic scientific questions largely unanswered, but in many cases we do not yet know enough to pose the key questions.”

Meteorologists think that they can forecast the short-term results of the return to the norm of the last century. They begin by noting the slight drop in overall temperature that produces large numbers of pressure centers in the upper atmosphere. These break up the smooth flow of westerly winds over temperate areas. The stagnant air produced in this way causes an increase in extremes of local weather such as droughts, floods, extended dry spells, long freezes, delayed monsoons and even local temperature increases – all of which have a direct impact on food supplies.

“The world’s food-producing system,” warns Dr. James D. McQuigg of NOAA’s Center for Climatic and Environmental Assessment, “is much more sensitive to the weather variable than it was even five years ago.” Furthermore, the growth of world population and creation of new national boundaries make it impossible for starving peoples to migrate from their devastated fields, as they did during past famines.

Climatologists are pessimistic that political leaders will take any positive action to compensate for the climatic change, or even to allay its effects. They concede that some of the more spectacular solutions proposed, such as melting the Arctic ice cap by covering it with black soot or diverting arctic rivers, might create problems far greater than those they solve. But the scientists see few signs that government leaders anywhere are even prepared to take the simple measures of stockpiling food or of introducing the variables of climatic uncertainty into economic projections of future food supplies. The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality.

And they're COMPLAINING??!?!!

This story greeted me this morning...

Hollywood hunk Bruce Willis has reportedly been told to stop hanging around naked by his Californian neighbours.

The Die Hard star has allegedly angered locals near his Malibu home because he keeps walking down the nearby secluded beach without any clothes on.

One source tells Britain's Daily Sport newspaper, "Bruce found some not-so-polite notes in his mailbox asking to keep his shortcomings secret."

Um, have these people SEEN Hawaiian men naked? You'd think they'd be happy for a refreshing change of scenery!

I'll try not to make a habit of it,

but I think I'll take this opportunity to pimp my new poetry blog, Soul Nanners.

Take a look.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

I wonder if CBS is having a denial-of-service attack

Google points me to a story I'd like to comment on located here. But the CBS website seems all frozen up.

For the record, though, just as Al Gore, not Ralph Nader, is responsible for Al Gore not winning in 2000, if Geo. W. Bush loses in 2004, it is because of Geo. W. Bush, not because of the Libertarians.

Ooooh . . . 28 hits yesterday.

Well, OK, 11 of them were my own, but of the remaining 17, that's about 8 times what I expected.

Ron Quixote

Ron, Ron, Ron . . .

I KNOW you're the only person of conscience in Washington, but sometimes you need to pick your battles a little better.

I'd still vote for ya in 2008, though.


No, no. We mustn't stop the BEHAVIOUR, must we? What we must do in Caraway is ban the BREEDS.

Does a miniature ban apply to min pins?

Friday, May 21, 2004

Yoo-hoo, R! Where you be at?

Have you run off to join the French Foreign Legion again? Is that why your email account keeps bouncing my email to you back to me?

Arkanssouri 2.1

Now, with a hit meter!

I'm so vain. I probably thought this song was about me.

Goofy Kalifornians.

Why doesn't the Kalifornia government ban teenagers from going outside, where the sun's deadly cancer rays can get them, as well?

We learn in this story that the Golden State government tries to protect teenagers by banning them from indoor tanning.

Question: won't that just drive them out into the more dangerous sunshine to get their tans?

Nope, no Saddam/al-Qaeda connection AT ALL, is there?

We learn here of the arrest of four Iraqis in the beheading of Nick Berg.

And in one simple five-paragraph block of text from the story, the liberals' "no-connection-between-Iraq-and-al-Qaeda" straw finally totally escapes their grasp.

The group that was involved in the killing of Berg was led by Yasser al-Sabawi, a nephew of Saddam Hussein, the security official said. He said American intelligence had asked Iraqi authorities to hand over the suspects, but they were still in Iraqi hands.

Al-Sabawi was not among those arrested, the Iraqi official said.

Police intelligence agents arrested the suspects as they arrived to "plot other major operations," the official said without elaborating. Four suspects had arrived early for the 7 p.m. meeting and were inside the house, waiting for a fifth associate who escaped arrest, he said.

Police seized weapons and explosives at the site. The Iraqi official said the informant who tipped off authorities was killed by unidentified gunmen the day after the arrests.

American officials have said they believe Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a Jordanian wanted for allegedly organizing attacks on U.S. troops in Iraq on behalf of al-Qaida, personally carried out Berg's killing.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Yeah, you pitched a perfect game, Randy . . .

... but you'll never be as good-looking as Roger Clemens.


Begins today.

So far, the only thing I've watched today is Spongebob.

He lives in a pineapple under the sea, you know.

Absorbent and porous and yellow is he.

I represent my community well, don't you think?

Apparently, the Walton family doesn't want you to see this blog.

Amazing how my flyers informing people of the existence of this blog keep disappearing from the Wal-Mart community bulletin board.

Mayhaps I should be more stealthy about distributing them -- in the pockets of shirts sold at Wal-Mart, for example. Or between the pages of their books.

Or, I could link to unflattering stories about Wal-Mart when people click on the store's name in my posts, instead of the company's site.

Reap, corporate swine, reap.


I'm thinking of starting another blog for my poetry, because it doesn't really fit in with the mission of this blog.

BUT, I don't want to be one of these types that has, like, sixteen blogs going at once.

Any suggestions?

How to kill time in West Plains MO.

After the surgery, we needed to get something to eat since she hadn't been allowed to eat anything since the night before. It was like 9:00 in the morning, and neither of us are big on breakfast food, so we went to the surly Sonic (A&W wasn't open yet.).

The carhop wasn't as surly as the one last time, perhaps because any reasonable observer would conclude that she was stoned. Eating at Sonic took, like a half hour. Her follow-up appointment wasn't until 1:30, so we tried to find things to do for four hours.

First, we went to a florist and picked out some flowers for Memorial Day. Then we tried to find the army surplus store, but apparently it had moved or closed down. Then I went to an outlet store and bought an excellent $50+ shirt for nine bucks. Then I went to the hospital thrift store, where I picked up a couple of coffee cups (one of them has "PROZAC" plastered across the front) and a They Might Be Giants cassette, all for less than a buck total.

We made a quick pitstop at the park that's near where FLAT* used to live. Then we went to a healthfood store and got a book on treating diabetes, and two low-carb cherry cordials.

We still had well over two hours to kill, so I went to the tattoo parlor, hoping to get my first tat (right arm, just below the sleeveline when wearing short sleeves), but a sign on the door said cash only, and I had planned on paying with my credit card. It's probably better this way; it gives me more time to decide what I want -- I'm thinking maybe the Chinese or Japanese symbol for "bear."

So when that went bust, we went to the Family Dollar store, where I found these excellent giant staked butterflies to go with the flowers.

Then we couldn't think of anything else to do, so we found a shady spot in the eye doctor's office parking lot until about an hour before her scheduled appointment. At that point, we went in.

She was put in the second waiting room rather early, but we had to sit there a LONG time. The room filled up with people and the walls started closing in on me, so I went outside and sat in the car on the pretext of "making more room for other people."

While sitting there, watching cars go by, I began noticing correlations between car colors and the sex of their drivers. Red cars are probably driven by men. Blue cars are probably driven by women. Gold cars, if their driver is over 40, are probably driven by men. If the driver's under 40, it's probably a woman. Except Sunfires and Neons -- they are almost always driven by woment.

After correlating cars and drivers awhile, I noticed that walking up the street was THAT DAMNED OLD BAT WHO INSISTED ON SITTING NEXT TO ME IN A RELATIVELY EMPTY WAITING ROOM during our first visit to this eye doctor. I knew for damn sure I wasn't going back in after she went in there.

After Mom got out of the eye doctor, it was almost three. We picked up some chicken from Colonel Sanders to have for supper and went home. If you ever need proof that there have ALWAYS been gays in the military, all you need to do is take a look at Colonel Sanders. I mean, have you seen how that man DRESSES?!?

The sunglasses Mom has to wear when she's outside make her look like one of the aliens on "V".

* - If you know who Flat is, you get the joke. If you don't know, it wouldn't be nearly as funny if I explained her to you. One of those "you had to be there" things.

The worst movie EVER!

Up at 4:30 yesterday morning to take mom to the hospital in West Plains. She was supposed to be there at 6:45. They didn't call her in for surgery until 7:30.

After they called her back, I found my way into an observation room, where I could watch eye surgeries on TV. There were a few others in the room.

A couple of surgeries in, I accidentally commented out loud that this is the worst movie EVER. There was no plot and the dialogue was terrible. It was as bad as Showgirls, which I have previously described as being trapped in an elevator with Gilbert Godfried for two hours, and he insists on standing right next to you. This amused most of the people in the room, some even complained that they didn't even have any popcorn, but one old bat just frowned like an annoyed, pissy old maid.

Eventually, she brought out a small container of rice pudding and began eating it. Every few minutes, she'd look at the screen and go "Ewww," and give a little grossed-out shudder. I couldn't resist. I caught her right at the end of a shudder and said, pointing to the screen, "You know, that looks just like rice pudding!"

She covered her mouth with a napkin and rushed from the room.

It's very simple, old bat. If you think it's THAT gross, don't watch it. There's plenty of room in the waiting room for you to sit.

Reap, baby, reap.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

The A-hole Tax

Earlier today, we were at a small local grocery store. There were these two women, one in her fifties, one at least in her seventies. They kept getting in my way and just STANDING there, even when I obviously needed to get to some of the groceries they were blocking. They would go on and on in loud voices about such things as "Guava Jelly? What in the world is guava jelly?"

Near the checkout of this store is the place they keep all the vitamins, herbal supplements and such.

The two bitches were behind us. The younger one picked up a bottle and kept going on and on about how cheap this bottle of lithium tablets was. It was $6.99.

If they hadn't been such a-holes all over the store, I would have told them that L-E-C-I-T-H-I-N does not spell Lithium. But no, they WERE A-holes, and so I made them pay an a-hole tax of $6.99.

You reap what you sow, bitches. Enjoy your psychotic episode brought on by lithium deprival.

Five Best Songs about Hank Williams.

Here they are, in no particular order:

Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way? by Waylon Jennings.

Midnight In Montgomery by Alan Jackson.

If You Don't Like Hank Williams by Hank Williams Jr.

Hank, You Tried To Tell Me by Johnny Paycheck.

The Night Hank Williams Came To Town by Johnny Cash.

Honorable Mention For Album Title with Most Homoerotic Innuendo: There's A Little Bit of Hank In Me by Charley Pride.


Probably no posts tomorrow. Mom's eye surgery will probably be an all-day goddamn big production.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Comments thingee.

Blogger once again decided for me that I only want registered users to comment. It was mistaken. I have once again reset the comments thingee to Anyone. I hope it sticks this time.

Who's running the dreadful News-Leader, the Clinton cabinet?

In Sunday's dreadful News-Leader, in the Two Views columns, someone at the paper apparently didn't like Peter Kinder's name and instead credited his opinion piece to someone named Firstname Lastname.

In these times where (let's say urban; that sounds better) urban women name their children things like Piranha, Bulimia, or Placenta, or some name ending in "iqua", Firstname Lastname doesn't sound so farfetched.

I suddenly feel MUCH better about the "mistreatment" of Iraqi detainees.

Given a choice, would you rather be photographed naked or beheaded?

My morbid curiosity got the better of me and I took a look at the full video of the beheading of Nick Berg. I now wish I hadn't. I wouldn't even have WANTED to if the mainstream media hadn't made such a big deal about "We'll show you this and this and this, but you can't see THIS."

Now that I have seen it, I have a better understanding of the animals America is dealing with. They are not people. There is not an ounce of decency in them.

This was a civilian they beheaded, a KID who from the video obviously had no idea what was about to happen to him. This is the difference between our side and theirs: we detain and "mistreat" enemy combatants, they behead civilian kids that had not a damn thing to do with what went on in the prisons. They didn't kill him for any noble ideal. They killed him because they wanted to. Because they are rabid animals. And like rabid animals, they need to be put down.

More and more I am convinced that on September 12, 2001, President Bush should have gone on TV and announced, "We didn't want holy war, but we are in one." Then turned Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Palestine, and every other one of those animals' countries into sheets of radioactive glass.

If you need to see the video to cement in your mind what civilization is up against in the war on terror, there are several links here. But be warned -- it will change you.

The 5 Best Stalker Songs

1. Every Breath You Take by The Police
2. Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell
3. Obsession by Animotion
4. Broken Wings by Mister Mister
5. Who Can It Be Now? by Men At Work

Honorable Mentions:
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Turning Japanese by The Vapors

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Arkanssouri 2.0

You've no doubt noticed a new look to the blog. I discovered Blogger has recently added the capability to add reader comments. The trouble was, when using an old template, I'd have to go through this long, complicated procedure (or, as I call such things, "A Goddamn Big Production") in order to put comments on my blog.

So, with a click of a button, I changed the template to a new one. No goddamn big production.

And I think this template looks a little less High-School-Journalism-Class-Projecty. You like?

Make that "Restore The Pledge."

Dude is surprised those polled want to "change the pledge" to take "under God" out.

Dude is apparently unaware that it would be more correct to say "restore the Pledge to it's previous state of being simply an affirmation of loyalty, rather than a religious incantation."

And BY THE WAY, why are people so caught up in the religious argument that they ignore the intellectual property argument? If the author had wanted "under God" in it, wouldn't he have put it in it? But no, that was added LATER by good old theocrat Uncle Sam.

Just wait. I'm betting next they'll put a gay stalker subplot in ATLAS SHRUGGED. Watch your back, Hank Rearden. You'll soon be being followed.

Mmmm ... doughnuts....

Oh, wait, these are lessons from the wrong Homer.


[Update: This post has been up HOW long now, and nobody noticed until today (5/20) that the title was Mmmm ... Dougnuts... ?

Doug and his nuts think my readers and I must be slacking off.]

Proof that Privatization works.

A story on the first privately-funded rocket exists here.

BEIJING, May 15, (Xinhuanet) -- The first privately funded piloted rocket plane has blasted through the earth's atmosphere.
A piloted rocket plane has blasted through the earth's atmosphere to become the first privately funded vehicle to make it into space.

Manned by Mike Melvill, a 62-year-old test pilot, the teardrop-shaped rocket made a 55 second climb to 211,400 feet or 40 miles before free-falling to a near perfect landing at Mojave airport, about 80 miles north of Los Angeles in California.

SpaceShipOne is the brainchild of Burt Rutan, the designer of Voyager, which made the first non-stop flight around the world in 1986 without refuelling.

Previously two private individuals have managed to reach space: Santa Monica businessman Dennis Tito and South African Mark Shuttleworth.

Slow News Day, so I rate energy drinks!

A while ago, I compared the advantages of Sugar-Free Red Bull and Pimp Juice. Today, I'll expand on that.

First, a quick tutorial on my methodology. There are five factors I'm considering -- cost (C), taste (T), availability (A), buzz factor (BF), and diet compatibility (D). I give each factor a ranking of 1 (worst) to 5 (best). Then I add up all the factors for that beverage and divide by 5 (the number of categories). The result I give in stars.

Sugar Free Red Bull: C-2, T-2, A-5, BF-5, D-5. Total 19/5 categories equals 3.6 stars out of 5.

Pimp Juice: C-2, T-5, A-1, BF-1, D-1. Total 10, or 2 stars out of 5.

Nitro2go (Diet version): C-2, T-4, A-2, BF-2, D-4. 2.8 stars. It's not as sweet as Pimp Juice, but the taste isn't bad.

KMX energy drink: C-2, T-2, A-5, BF-1, D-1. 2.2 stars.

AriZona Rx Energy: C-2, T-3, A-4, BF-3, D-1. 2.6 stars.

Starbucks doubleshot espresso: C-1, T-2, A-3, BF-3, D-2. 2.2 stars. It costs what seems to be the "standard" for energy drinks, $1.99 a can, but the can is only 6.5 ounces instead of 8.4 ounces like the rest.

Mountain Dew Amp energy drink: C-2, T-3, A-3, BF-4, D-1. 2.6 stars.

Jim Beam Beam & Cola: C-4, T-5, A-5, BF-5, D-1. 4 stars. The winner.

I wanted to rate YJ Stinger, mostly due to their Magnificent Goofball spokesman Kenny Wallace, but I couldn't find any in my area.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Arkansas NORML -- crank up the Hendrix, fire up the lava lamp.

This, I kid you not, is from the Upcoming Events on Arkansas NORML's webpage.


Tuesday, May 18, Arkansas Presidential Primary Election.

Thursday, May 20, 7:00pm, ArkNORML meets at the Southwest Little Rock public library meeting room, 6325 Baseline Rd. [OK, that's not so bad.]

Ongoing & Endorsed Actions
MJ Petition Initiative

LR City Directors on MJ Deprioritization [And that's not so bad either.]

[But *THIS* ??!??!!]

Kite Flying
Riverfront in Little Rock

Unsettling. Brilliant, but unsettling.

When I plucked the June issue of Reason from my mailbox, the first thing I saw was the back cover. It was an Institute for Justice ad about eminent domain. Figuring prominently in the ad was a picture of a clipboard with a huge headline across the top that said "CONDEMNED" and followed by my street address.

The front cover was even worse. There was a picture of my neighborhood, with my house circled. The headline below gave my name and said "THEY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!"

An article inside ("Database Naton") extolled the advantages such personalization can bring. But I don't know that I WANT such personalization. One thought keeps running through my head -- this would have made Hitler's job SO much easier.

Injuns: Stealing OUR land is bad; stealing YOUR land is good.

This story is from

Kickapoo tribe hopes federal official will help solve water problem

Associated Press

HORTON, Kan. - Members of the Kickapoo Nation hope a high-ranking federal official can help them fix a long-term water supply problem that climaxed last year during a drought.

David Anderson, assistant secretary for Indian Affairs with the U.S. Department of the Interior, met with about 150 members of the tribe Thursday at a conference center west of Horton.

Tribal chairman Steve Cadue said Anderson assured the tribal council at a closed-door meeting earlier in the day that he would help use eminent domain to acquire private property for a reservoir.

"He made the personal commitment that he will seek the solution to the Kickapoo water supply," Cadue said. "He has been given the research from his staff that the eminent domain must be asserted on behalf of the Kickapoo tribe."

But Anderson was not as committal on whether he would use his authority to begin the eminent domain process.

"That's a question for our solicitor's office," he said.

Currently, the reservation gets its water supply from the Delaware River, which feeds a tiny lake. Last August, the river ran dry, forcing the tribe to haul in 7 million gallons of water.

A plan to fix the tribe's water problem - a 475-acre reservoir - first was drawn up in 1978. But the project would affect about 1,000 acres of non-tribal land in Nemaha-Brown Watershed Joint District No. 7.

Water district officials have blocked transfer of the land to the tribe, and in January tabled the tribe's request to use eminent domain to get it.

The reservoir project would cost $5.3 million, with the tribe paying $3.2 million and the federal government paying the rest.

"To flourish does not mean the hauling of water via truck transport to the Kickapoo reservation, as we were forced to do in last year's drought," Cadue said. "Nor does it mean to settle for a source of water that meets someone else's idea of what is enough for the Kickapoo people."

Tribal leaders say eminent domain is a last resort, but negotiations to buy the property have not panned out.

Kickapooians: You have now lost all moral authority to bitch about the white man stealing your land. In making this request, you must believe theft is a legitimate means to acquire land.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

What's more important, God or soccer?

The Chicago Sun-Times tells us of another potential abuse of eminent domain.

Still think eminent domain isn't theft?

Maybe this story in the Washington Times will open your eyes.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

MO Motorcycle Helmet Update

First, a story from the dreadful News-Leader with a little background:

Published April 28, 2004

House seeks repeal of motorcycle helmet law


News-Leader Staff and Wire Services

Jefferson City — Hours after scores of motorcycle riders rallied at the Capitol, the House gave first-round approval to a bill repealing Missouri's mandatory motorcycle helmet law for riders 21 and older.
"I look at this as a matter of personal freedom," sponsoring Rep. Larry Crawford, R-California, said after the passage Monday. "This is an issue that has well outlived its life."

Bikers cheered on the legislation Tuesday, saying the helmet requirement restricts individual liberties and diverts out-of-state road warriors — and their money — from Missouri.

"I think we've had enough of our rights taken away in this country," said Springfield biker Joe Morton, 42. He counted about a dozen friends who avoid Missouri because the state requires them to don helmets, which bikers say can restrict vision and cause discomfort.

"I think they're losing a lot of revenue," he said, noting that helmet-hating bikers would purchase gasoline, lodging and souvenirs.

The bill's opponents say the government should continue requiring helmets because the safety devices save lives and ultimately save taxpayers medical costs.

"I think it should be a law," said Kristy Barbee. The 25-year-old said she always wears a helmet when she rides.

"I think it's just the government trying to protect its people," she said. [The government belongs to the people, Kristy, not the other way around.]

In Jefferson City, Gov. Bob Holden, who would have to sign the bill before it became law, wouldn't say Tuesday what he would do. "I would look very carefully at that bill before I signed it," Holden said.

Two House Republicans who are also physicians took to the floor to plead for keeping the helmet law. They said personal freedom is important but predicted that injuries would increase and the state would pay more for accident victims' recovery.

Republican Rep. Roy Holand, an orthopedic surgeon from Springfield, also spoke against the bill.

"I think it's a public safety issue," Holand said.

"Every freedom has a responsibility side," said Republican Rep. Rob Schaaf, a family physician in St. Joseph. "You're increasing the risk that you're going to hurt the rest of us by forcing us to pay dollars for your health care." [No, you CHOOSE to treat them, Robbie.]

Said Springfield Police Lt. Scott Leven, a self-described "firm believer in giving responsible adults the right to choose": "It is your head, but unfortunately when your head gets damaged and I have to pay the bill, that's what upsets me."

The House tentatively approved the measure on a voice vote, but another vote is needed to send it to the Senate. A similar bill was vetoed in 1999 by then-Gov. Mel Carnahan, and other helmet proposals failed both before and after that.

Crawford said the federal government originally required states to pass motorcycle helmet laws in 1967. But Congress repealed that requirement in 1976, and most states no longer require bikers to wear helmets.

Among neighboring states, only Nebraska and Tennessee still has a helmet law. [I'm sorry to hear that they still 'has' a helmet law. It would be less distressing if the two states HAVE HELMET LAWS. Get a grammar editor.]

Earlier Monday, motorcyclists parked their vehicles on the Capitol sidewalks and congregated on the lawn for an annual rally. Many of them support abolishing the helmet law.

But legislative opponents claim dropping the requirement would result in more serious injuries, with the state often paying the medical bills.

"I believe in personal choice," said Rep. Vicky Riback Wilson, D-Columbia. "The question here is not a matter of personal choice. It is a matter of using public roadways and state resources in order to take care of the problems that result." [Do you suggest people driving cars be required to wear helmets as well? If "public roadways and state resources" is your argument, then it applies to automobiles, doesn't it?]

Said Leven: "I don't like the big thumb of government, but sometimes government has to step in and protect those people who just can't protect themselves." [Who "can't" put on a helmet? What a bunch of idiots we have in Jefferson City.]

Crawford, who rides motorcycles off-road and always wears a helmet, said he won't ride on public streets or roads because of the dangers involved. But if others want to ride in traffic and not wear a helmet, that should be their decision, he said.

"These are choices that all people make about what kind of activities they participate in," Crawford said.

If the law passes, attendance at Missouri biker rallies may improve, said 60-year-old Stan Brooks of Buffalo. Rally turn-out is only half that of other states, he said.

"The state of Missouri loses so much money because bikers will not come in this state," he said.

Now, an update:

Helmet legislation questioned

Scott Welton

Mike Cokenour of Sikeston is among the local motorcycle enthusiasts hoping to see House Bill 1109 passed.

SIKESTON — It’s an old argument with freedom of choice on one side and safety issues and health costs on the other.

Legislation passed by the state House of Representatives would make it legal for those age 21 and older to ride motorcycles without wearing a helmet. The bill now goes to the Missouri Senate for a vote.

Motorcyclists not wearing helmets under the current law in Missouri can be fined up to $25 with violations not counting as points on their license.

Jerry Helms of Sikeston, who had been riding since 1993, has been waiting a long time for this. “We’ve signed petitions and sent them to Jefferson City and everything,” he said.

Helms said he doesn’t see anything wrong with being able to hop on a bike and ride around town without having to strap a helmet on, but prefers to wear one at higher speeds. “On a trip I wear a helmet,” he said.

Many motorcycle riders, however, prefer to not wear them at all.

“Just yesterday, there was about 20 bikes and we all went to Illinois simply so we could ride without our helmets,” said Mike Cokenour of Sikeston, who has ridden motorcycles for about 15 years. “I’m definitely for the freedom of choice.”

Cokenour and others who would like to see the bill pass say it is more than just a personal freedom issue, however, as repealing the mandatory helmet law would mean more tourism dollars for Missouri.

“It will bring revenue back to the state. I know for a fact people avoid riding in this state just so they can take their helmet off,” Cokenour said. During their latest ride in Illinois, he and his wife spent $75 just on things like gas, soda, snacks - “just blowing money,” he recalled.

The bill’s sponsor, Rep. Larry Crawford, R-California, said 28 states permit adults to ride without helmets.

Rhonda Welch of Charleston said she personally prefers to wear a helmet, “especially riding on the back. I don’t plan on falling off or anything, but if I did? I just like wearing mine. I feel safe with it.”

But Welch said she also thinks the choice to wear one should be left up to her, not mandated by the government.

“The law doesn’t say you can’t wear a helmet,” Cokenour agreed. “Hey, if you want to wear a helmet wear a helmet, but it shouldn’t be anybody else’s choice to make for you.”

The bill’s opponents, on the other hand, say everybody will end up paying for that freedom though Medicaid or higher insurance rates with the increase in head trauma medical bills.

Rep. Margaret Donnelly, D-St. Louis, said the Missouri Head Injury Advisory Council figures show the cost of treating each head injury runs between $600,000 and $2.3 million. “I’m in favor of everybody wearing a helmet - anything you can do to protect the brain is good,” said Dr. Riyadh Tellow, neurologist at Missouri Delta Medical Center. “I don’t know why they want to allow people to not wear a helmet because it’s dangerous.”

Tellow said after working in a traumatic brain injury unit in Detroit, he has seen first hand the difference a helmet can make.

“A motorcycle accident can result in traumatic brain injury,” Tellow said. “A helmet can protect the brain so a major injury becomes a minor injury.”

According to national statistics distributed by the state council, motorcyclists not wearing helmets are three times more likely to suffer brain injuries than those wearing a helmet.

Tellow said he considers motorcycles to be dangerous, advising riders to be cautious “and use the most protection they can get including helmets.”

“I’ve seen the devastating consequences of accidents in general and motorcycle accidents in particular,” he said. “They take a devastating toll on the family and health care costs.”

In 1999, a similar bill was approved by both the House and Senate but was shot down by a gubernatorial veto.

Some information for this story was provided by the Associated Press.

--- Helmet bill is HB1109. On the Net:

Monday, May 10, 2004

Make fun of me if you want . . .

. . . but I actually LIKE some of these reality shows. I view them as sort of a social experiment.

Last night, in the Survivor finale, it was revealed that CBS is putting up a second million bucks to go to the contestant that gets the most viewer votes.

I've already voted for Rupert. The only other one I even considered was Rudy. Everyone else who wants Rupert to win, go here and vote for him. And then go recruit 5 more people to vote for him, and have each of them recruit 5 people. It won't be long before we are Rupert's Army.

We've all bitched from time to time that honest, decent, kind, caring people never win these reality shows. Now we have a chance to rectify that situation.


This is just vile.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Payback's a b*tch, ain't it?

Last year, a family moved in next door. The parents let their eldest daughter, then still in preschool, run rampant over the neighborhood. She came into my yard and stole some of my flowers.

When brought to the mother's attention, she was really put-off that her daughter shouldn't be allowed to steal other people's property.

Today, they are having a yard sale. I would go over and buy something if they hadn't been a-holes about the whole thing. As it is, I will be spending the day out in my yard doing piddly yardwork . . .

...while wearing my "death shirt." I usually only wear it on Christmas and Valentine's Day. It is well over 10 years old.

It is black with white skulls all over it. On the back, the skulls swirl into a vortex. If you remember the episode of Newsradio where Matthew goes punk, his shirt is identical to mine, except probably smaller. The effect on the front is similar to this one, only it's not green. I hope the yard-sale perusers get a good look.

When I get back home, I'm doing a load of whites in the laundry. So that, if they have the yardsale again tomorrow, my Outright Libertarians shirt will be good and ready. I think my pink do-rag will go with it nicely.

[Update] I finally found a picture of the Death Shirt.

The Giant Wristband People.

The Giant Wristband People were at the park again this morning. I must tell you the story of my first encounter with the Giant Wristband People, because it gives you a little insight into how my mind works.

Last summer, or maybe early fall, I'm walking along the trail around the spring at Mammoth Spring State Park. I come upon this couple walking in the opposite direction. The man and woman were wearing identical black workout suits, and they had on these extremely large silver wristbands.

Are they space aliens? I wondered. Then I decided it was unlikely aliens would travel millions of miles to earth but couldn't find a better place to take a walk than Mammoth Spring.

Maybe they're superheroes. But I discarded that notion because I don't think superheroes really NEED to exercise.

Perhaps they're cultists. They certainly looked the part. Their matching outfits looked straight out of Heaven's Gate. But they didn't really have that brainwashed-zombie look about them.

Oh, I get it. Those are weighted armbands. They help the Giant Wristband people to exercise.

Normal people start at the most likely explanation. I start at the most outlandish one and work my way back inward until I find one that is reasonable. Sometimes the twain doth meet. And sometimes it dothn't.

Aaauuggghhh! My eyes! My EYES!! THEY BURN!!!!

These are the Ugliest Shoes EVER.

"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?"

AR 144 IBN. Small, light-blue foreign car, probably from the late 80's.

Dear man and woman at the Superette in Mammoth Springs this morning:

Please have your strung-out screaming matches with each other in your mobile home instead of in the parking lots of businesses that decent people frequent at 7:00 in the morning.

Damned burned-out tweakers.

Friday, May 07, 2004

He who made kittens put snakes in the grass...

I buried Houdini this morning.

If you need me, I'll be at the bar. Or maybe behind it, smoking a "beer."

I'm sick of being a Boy Scout in a world that eats Boy Scouts for lunch.

Mark of the Beast?

Sometimes the lunatic fringe have REASON TO WORRY.

Technology Will Continue To Propel The Evolution Of Cards, Making New Forms Of Payment Possible And Perhaps Driving The Nail In The Coffin Of Cash And Checks. Applied Digital Solutions Inc. Has Developed The Verichip, A Radio-Frequency Identification Device About The Size Of A Grain Of Rice That Can Be Implanted Under Human Skin. Simply Pass The Verichip Over A Scanner And Information About The Wearer Is Transmitted. A Leading Card Brand And Two Banks Are Already Pursuing Potential Applications For The Verichip As A Payment Device.

Rock the Cradle of Love, Chuck.

Chris Wulff of Areawide Media goes into unnecessary, sordid, prurient detail in this story.

The victim told the jury how he and Simmons would eat ice cream in Simmons’ bed and watch the television show “Frasier” almost every night. One night, he said, after the show ended Simmons asked him if he had ever seen a pornographic film, and he said no.

“He (Simmons) popped in a porno, pulled my drawers down and started giving me oral sex,” the witness said.


The boy and his friends would get drunk and strip for the men, one testified. Occasionally the men would fondle the boys or perform oral sex on them, he added.

The first witness began crying when describing an incident that allegedly occurred after the boy and another friend passed out in the boy’s room after consuming alcohol and drugs.

He testified that the boys awoke with their arms and legs handcuffed to a bed while Simmons and his friend, Jason Wilbanks, performed anal sex on the boys while another friend and suspect in the case, Derry Reed, taped the incident.

“They felt like cold bracelets around my wrists,” the first victim said. “We were both just lying on the bed, aching and crying. Chuck didn’t stop and just went faster and harder.”

The young men testified that they would pass out from binge drinking and awake in a different location in the home from where they had fallen asleep. A third victim said he once awoke with Simmons performing oral sex on him. The second victim said he awoke in Simmons’ bedroom naked with his anus hurting.

There are a couple of other instances of unnecessary detail -- one of the victims molesting his sister, and one describing photos found in this guy's house. You get the idea.

1. How do these people meet each other in an area where NORMAL gay people (those who like ADULTS) can't even find someone?

2. Why is it necessary for Wulff to revel in the details, when a clinical term such as "sexual assault" would work just as well?

3. This is kind of tangential, since we're talking about forcible rape, not statutory rape, but why is there an inconsistency between the minimum legal age to marry in Arkansas (14) and the age for sex to be considered child molestation (under 17)? If 14-year-old Jeremy marries 19-year-old Lucinda, do they have to wait foconsummateto consumate their marriage? And if they don't, is she a rapist? Index one to the other, people.

[Update:] Justice served.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Mindless Fluff of the Day.

Best Car Chase Movie: Smokey & The Bandit.
Worst Car Chase Movie: Thelma & Louise.

Honorable Mention: The Blues Brothers.

Eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin' . . .

Theft of land is "frustratingly slow," Dean Patrick complains.

Patrick said the biggest hang-up in the project is the acquisition of easements. Currently, the city of Marshall has begun the eminent domain process to secure nearly 20 easements.

"The whole legal process is frustratingly slow," Jensen said.

It mustn't be INCONVENIENT to steal someone's land, must it, Dean? That would be SUCH a travesty.

The story can be found here.

Rumours of blogs' demise are greatly exaggerated.

Stephen McKinley writes a premature obituary for blogdom in the Irish Echo.

He don't know us vewy well, does he?

John Stossel gets a scarlet "L" from the liberals.

I kinda like John Stossel. He's like Bill Maher, without the A-hole factor. Jennifer Harper of the Washington Times points out that the liberals apparently don't share my opinion of him in this piece, which brands him as a small-l libertarian.

Stossel proudly labeled a 'scourge'

By Jennifer Harper

The press has called him a conservative, contrarian, prime-time propagandist, debunker and right-wing apparatchik — among other things.
But John Stossel, co-host of ABC's "20/20" who was in Washington yesterday to tape a segment of the show, described himself as a pessimist and libertarian.

However, Mr. Stossel's new book suggests more. "Give Me a Break: How I Exposed Hucksters, Cheats and Scam Artists and Became the Scourge of the Liberal Media" takes on haughty reporters, environmental alarmists and "liberal red tape."

Scourge-hood is not easy, however.

"It's not fun being a scourge," Mr. Stossel said. "But I knew I was a scourge when two of my producers quit rather than work on my first special. And I knew it when I went on CNN's 'Reliable Sources' and they titled it 'Objectivity in Journalism: Does John Stossel Practice Either?' "

He has been sued six times, attacked on camera by a professional wrestler and hollered at by irate college women for his reports on consumer fraud, activist scare tactics and other cultural and political irregularities over the years.

Vexed by his exposes of organic foods and pesticides, some advocacy groups have campaigned to get Mr. Stossel fired from ABC — prompting the D.C.-based Competitive Enterprise Institute to form an organization called Support John Stossel to "counter ongoing environmentalist efforts to silence him," says its Web site (

Like comedian turned commentator Dennis Miller, Mr. Stossel has sidled into the conservative corner. Salon called him "a right-leaning bomb-thrower of prime-time news," and he has been praised by the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity of the Fox News Channel, the Media Research Center's Brent Bozell and John Fund of the Wall Street Journal.

"I was once a heroic consumer reporter; now I'm a threat to journalism," he writes in his book. "Instead of applying my skepticism to business, I applied it to government and 'public interest' groups. This apparently violated a religious tenet in journalism. Suddenly, I was no longer 'objective.' "

However, Mr. Stossel remains philosophical about his role as conservative-friendly firebrand in the broadcast realm.

"It's not fun getting all the cold looks," he said. "It's much more fun working with people who like what you do. But I can't complain. I'm also co-anchor of a major network news program."

His book exposes "greedy abortionists." He also labels President Johnson's war on poverty a "miserable failure" and plumbs the murky depths of journalistic credibility.

"The liberal media views the conservative media as 'biased.' It holds it in disdain, holds organizations like The Washington Times in disdain," Mr. Stossel said. "The conservative media are furious at this treatment, as they should be. But the success of talk radio is a demonstration of the balance being corrected by the free market."

He added, "I want people to learn that freedom works, that limited government works. We know what has lifted more people out of short and brutal lives: It's economic freedom. Let's celebrate it rather than sneering at it the way intellectual elites of America do."


Barry Benintende laments on the loss of half of Rogersville's Libertarian population here.

Welcome to my readership, Barry. And from the looks of it, I'm going to enjoy being one of your readers in the Marshfield Mail.

Gotta get one little dig in, though -- Go Cubbies!

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Dr. Feelgood

Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue

Rat-tailed Jimmy is a second hand hood
He deals out in Hollywood
Got a '65 Chevy, primered flames
Traded for some powdered goods
Jigsaw Jimmy He's runnin' a gang
But I hear he's doin' o.k.
Got a cozy little job, sells the Mexican mob
Packages of candycaine

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes ya feel alright
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood

Cops on the corner always ignore
Somebody's getting paid
Jimmy's got it wired, law's for hire
Got it made in the shade
Got a little hideaway, does business all day
But at night he'll always be found
Selling sugar to the sweet
People on the street
Call this Jimmy's town

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes ya feel alright
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein I've got one thing you'll understand
He's not what you'd call a glamorous man
Got one thing that's easily understood
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood

He'll tell you he's the king
Of thes barrio streets
Moving up to shangri-la
Came by his wealth as a matter of luck
Says he never broke no law
Two time loser running out of juice
Time to move out quick
Heard a rumour going round
Jimmy's going down
This time it's gonna stick

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes ya feel alright
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein

Let him soothe your soul, just take his hand
Some people call him an evil man
Let him introduce himself real good
He's the only one they call "Feelgood"

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