The Arkanssouri Blog.: 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005

Friday, September 30, 2005

Yet another excellent manvention.

Now THIS could come in handy!

The Thinking Beer Mat.

A beer mat that calls for a refill when the pint is almost empty has been invented by scientists in Germany.

I just put a review of Mystic River on

If you wanna see it, click here.

I'm a little rusty on writing reviews, so take that into consideration.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Is that GLITTER? Is she going to a RAVE?

Seen on the Drudge Report this morn:

The one on the left has very sparkly hair.

Perhaps TOO sparkly.

"Antisocial" is subjective.

Some Brits jump on the rubbery wristbandwagon with glow-in-the-dark "Against Antisocial Behaviour" bandies.

The problem is, there's no objective definition of "antisocial." Is slamming the door in the face of girl scouts selling cookies antisocial? Is voting against a tax increase for education antisocial? Is sitting on your own porch in your boxers drinking Budweiser antisocial?

Is flipping off the neighbor antisocial, even if he deserves it?

What about letting your kids run up and down the aisles of the supermarket?

Or wearing an abnormal haircut?

Or calling your waiter out for his lousy service?

Or telling a panhandler to get a job?

Or eating a juicy steak sandwich in front of him?

Or driving down the road with the windows rolled down, shouting "Pac-Man!" at each pedestrian?

I want an objective definition of "antisocial." I demand that you give it to me. Now.

...... Hey, look, there's my neighbor walking down the sidewalk.

"Pac-Man!"[flips the bird.]

Your damn tax dollars being pissed away.

Part of the money for Katrina's recovery could be recovered if the damn Treasury Department would quit redesigning the damn money.

The last overhaul of the ten-dollar bill was only five years ago. But yesterday, we got word it's been redesigned again.

How much money did it take to commission a new design? How much do the new printing plates cost? And as any newspaper printer will tell you, every added color of ink increases the printing costs tremendously. How much does it cost to have pretty reds and oranges?

And how much did it cost the taxpayers for Treasury officials to travel to the Statue of Liberty for their retarded little unveiling photo-op yesterday?

And the bad thing is, they plan to do redesigns nearly constantly:

Officials promised that America's currency will undergo makeovers every seven to 10 years to keep ahead of counterfeiters armed with the latest advances in computer technology that make digital counterfeiting easier.

Quit redesigning the damn money, retards. Because when you do, you wind up with retarded results like this:

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The split predicate adjective.

Several years ago, my friend Kevin and I noticed that Newt Gingrich seemed particularly fond of the split predicate adjective.

For those of you who don't diagram sentences in your spare time, here's an example:

The Democrats' position is bizarre and grotesque.


Janet Reno is murderous and disgusting.

It seems that, literally, there WAS a memo.

The memo then provided two lists. One was a set of "Optimistic Positive Governing words and phrases to help describe" the GOP vision for the future; the other was a list of "Contrasting words to help you clearly define the policies and record of your opponent and the Democratic party."


The positive words were hardly surprising; they included "caring," "freedom," "liberty," "moral," prosperity," and "strength. But the "contrasting words"--which GOPAC said should be applied to Democrats and their proposals--were rather hard-edged: "betray," "bizarre," "cheat," "corrupt," "destroy," "disgrace," "greedy," "incompetent," "intolerant," "radical," "shallow," "sick," and "traitors."

That, my friends, is strange and amusing.

Someone alert PORKBUSTERS.

You didn't know you were a peeping tom for pandas, did you?

If you pay federal taxes, you are.

Or at least you're enabling someone else to ogle sweaty panda love.

Your tax dollars at work being a pervert.

Nebraska Chupacabra?

Hey, it's not any more far-fetched than the idea of a Nebraska cult.

Story here.

The axe-control lobby . . .

. . . gets a little more ammunition.

Misinterpreted headline of the week.

From Ananova:

Sucking a Fishermen's Friend could get you into trouble.

Factchecking Cafferty.

From a transcript of yesterday's Situation Room:

Wolf Blitzer: The president, Kathleen Blanco, the governor of Louisiana, speaking to reporters after touring this area, the president, at least, for the seventh time since the start of Katrina. That's now more than a month ago.

Let's check in with our Jack Cafferty. He's watching all of this, as he does every day.

Hi, Jack.


Is that what they call a photo-op, that thing we just saw, Wolf?

BLITZER: That's correct.

CAFFERTY: OK. I just wanted to make sure.

BLITZER: They have people standing behind him that they want to stand behind him.

CAFFERTY: And all of -- and it's all politicians. They're all...


BLITZER: Well, some real -- real people, too.

CAFFERTY: Oh, they have a real person or two?

BLITZER: Yes, they have real people. They always have real people there, too.

CAFFERTY: But they're -- it's probably by invitation only, I mean, a real person, but only if you're invited.

Cafferty has no evidence to support this assumption. He has done no investigation into who was and was not at the event.

He continues:

Former FEMA director Michael Brown did say in his testimony today that he is not -- quote -- "a superhero," which is something that I had already figured out all by myself. What I didn't know was, according to Brown, the whole Katrina fiasco was the fault of local lawmakers.

Jack Cafferty here is lying. Brown made no such statement. He did suggest, however, that he is not solely responsible for the events following Katrina, and that Nagin and Blanco share some of the responsibility. Mr. Cafferty needs to learn the difference between PARTIAL responsibility and ENTIRE responsibility.

He continues:

I also didn't know Brown is still on the payroll. Brown said yesterday that he's being paid for about a month as a consultant to FEMA.

So, help me out here. The guy who resigned in disgrace after bungling the response to Katrina is being paid taxpayer money by the government to be a consultant. Yes, that makes sense, right?

Oh, the horror of it -- someone who was actually there being hired to help determine what went wrong.

Later, he moves on to a new bitch:

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: Well, before we get to the next e- mail question, I've gotten a lot of mail, as you said you have, from viewers on that very subject. The president wants us to conserve energy, and yet he's made seven trips in Air Force One, you mentioned the SUVs and let's not forget, too, he flies in a helicopter from the White House out to Andrews where he gets on Air Force One, and those things don't run on jelly. You have got to put some kind of fuel in those, too. So, I don't know, turning off the White House computer overnight compared to what did Suzanne say, $6,000 an hour to fly Air Force One around?

This is the same Jack Cafferty who bitched snidely about President Bush NOT showing up in the Katrina Zone following the hurricane.

So, Cafferty is against Bush going to New Orleans. And he is against Bush NOT going to New Orleans. No matter what Bush does, Jack Cafferty is going to gripe about it. Is he secretly a member of the Congressional Democratic Caucus?

A couple of paragraphs later, Cafferty exposes himself as a self-hating male:

Here's the question, is this country ready for a woman president? I mean, the answer, as far as I'm concerned is absolutely. They couldn't do any worse job than some of the men who have had the office. And I've had two wives and four daughters, and I'm convinced they're smarter than we are, Wolf.

Smarter than Cafferty, perhaps, but Cafferty doesn't have the authority to speak for all mankind. He has bought into the feminist dogma that men are evil, inferior, or both.

A quick aside here. Wolf, in response to this, has a Freudian slip:

BLITZER: I totally agree. If women can lead India and Israel and Britain, why can't they leave the United States?

Later, Jack Cafferty reveals he has a mancrush on Donald Trump:

CAFFERTY: I know he was. He actually -- you know, back -- I'm not a huge fan of him, but some of the things he does I admire. One of them is years ago the city was trying to rebuild a skating rink in Central Park, and, of course, like, you know, usual city projects, cost overruns, delays, reason -- 84 reasons why we couldn't get it done.

Trump says I'll fix the skating rink. He did it in six weeks, came in under budget, it was done, bang it was done. So he is good at building stuff.

What Cafferty does not inform the viewers is that when "building stuff," Trump often uses the power of the government to steal the land via eminent domain.

Later, Cafferty bemoans the hyping of the body count in New Orleans:

JACK CAFFERTY, ANCHOR: Wolf, like every story, there are two sides to the media coverage that occurred in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

Reporters brought to life the dire situation in New Orleans. Some say they actually pressured the government to step into action by exposing the horrid conditions there.

But when it came to other darker side of the story, the media missed the mark. Various news outlets, broadcast and newspapers, reported on inflated body counts, unconfirmed rapes and sniper attacks and roving gangs of armed bandits.

The mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, didn't help. He went on Oprah Winfrey's national TV show and talked about the people in the Superdome, quote, "watching dead bodies, watching hooligans killing people and raping people," unquote.

Some officials say the inaccurate reporting was due to a break down of communications. Others suggest race could have been a factor.

Note that he MAKES NO MENTION of CNN's part in it. CNN was taking every horror story as gospel and reporting it as fact. But I guess Cafferty just forgot to mention that part of it.

Later, he has another opportunity to point out CNN's part in the disaster hype, but fails to do so:

CAFFERTY: Wolf, on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, various media outlets reported on inflated body counts, unconfirmed rapes, sniper attacks and roaming gangs of armed thugs. Some officials say the inaccurate reporting was due to a breakdown in communications. There was anarchy in the couple of days immediately following Katrina.

But other suggested race could have been a factor, so the question is this. Why did the media exaggerate what happened in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina?

One viewer calls Cafferty out:

And one for the other side. Jim in Oxford, Ohio writes "with all of the TVs in THE SITUATION ROOM, you had to make up situations to fill them all. I don't know, Cafferty. You're the media, you tell us."

I'll tell you this, we didn't make up anything in THE SITUATION ROOM, did we, Wolf?

BLITZER: We try to just report the facts, only the facts and nothing but the facts.

CAFFERTY: There you go.

And CNN has no responsibility to verify the horror stories themselves before going to air with them? Lapping up lies and reporting them as truth is imperceptibly better than making up the lies yourself.

Perhaps Mr. Cafferty is dyslexic and thinks the CNN, which stands for Cable NEWS Network, is actually CCN, the Cable COMMENTARY Network.

Jack Cafferty can be reached at: .

Or you can use this form.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

WTC Victim #00001.

Gay Orbit poignantly points out that under Ratzinger's Rules, Father Mychal Judge would be unfit to be a Roman Catholic priest.

Under Ratzinger's Rules, you can be thrown out not only for what you do, but also simply for who you are. Homosexuality itself, even if the priest is celibate, is grounds for removal.

Tennessee Tuxedo, RIP.

Story here.
Kip gives props to the OGP here.
I wonder if Opus will speak at his funeral.

Pirhana 3: Armed and flippery.

Trained dolphin snipers set free by hurricane.

Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest.


'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

Anyone remember the very bad movie Pirhana and it's even worse sequel, where the pirhanas are crossed with flying fish? Well, let's hope those flying pirhanas don't meet up with the dart-shooting dolphins and have any young'uns.

But yesterday CNN said the SPR was damaged . . .

From yesterday's Situation Room:

VELSHI: Wolf, you heard the president speaking earlier today. One of the things he said when he was talking about energy is they are once again, the government is once again prepared to release oil to oil companies from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in case some of that oil coming from the Gulf of Mexico is still offline.

Well, the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, as you know, is four sites. I've got a map of that, four sites in Texas and Louisiana. Two of them are in Texas, two of them are in Louisiana.

Over on the right, Bayou Choctaw, that was the only one that stayed open. The others three closed for Hurricane Rita. There are 72 million barrels of oil there. Of the remaining three, Bryan Mound is reopened and is fine. The other two, West Hackberry and Big Hill. Big hill we were actually at and have pictures of that for you. Roads -- access roads to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve are flooded. We have almost 400 barrels of oil between the two of those. Big Hill, in fact, has had damage.

So we are looking at even the Strategic Petroleum Reserve in this country having suffered damage as a result of Hurricane Rita. Just one more problem to contend with in terms of the flow of oil and energy supplies, Wolf.

Yet today, CNN Money tells us Bush is ready to tap the reserve.

How can both be true?

Maybe we should sic Amnesty International onto them.

Onto the hospital nurseries, I mean.

Because it seems that cooing at a baby is a human rights abuse.

This is rich:

Debbie Lawson, neo-natal manager at the hospital's special care baby unit, said: "Cooing should be a thing of the past because these are little people with the same rights as you or me.

I have a right to vote and to drive and to have sex with a consenting adult, Debbie. Babies to not have the same rights as you or me. That you insists they do suggests that you want to either grant babies these rights or cause adults to surrender these rights. If you want to surrender your right to drive, vote, and f*ck, go ahead. But they'll take my keys, my voter registration card, and my lube when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

And one more thing, Debbie. Neither you nor I have a "right" not to be cooed at.

Sometimes I think the Brits watch too much Are You Being Served, and their brains are turning to goo.

Coo, coo, Debbie. Coo coo. Ask not at whom the blogger coos, Debbie. He coos at you.

Hat tip to Jeff of the Cannuckistan Chronicles.

Amtrak Shrugged.

Joseph Vranich over at Capitalism Magazine draws astute parallels between Amtrak and the Jim Taggart-era Taggart Transcontinental.

Here's just one of the (ominous) parallels:

In her novel, Taggart Transcontinental Railroad employees believed they had a "right" to jobs regardless of the economic insignificance of their work. Again life imitates fiction at Amtrak. If train service is discontinued completely on a route, a severance package provides many employees with full salary for five years. Amtrak's job-protection absurdity is unparalleled in other industries.

Ain Rand, Dagni Taggart, and the fymynysts.

Selective Amnesia has posted an interesting question it calls a Random Question That Means Nothing.

What do the feminists think of the women in Rand's books?

I think the heroines virtually embody the feminist ideal, whereas the villians (like Lillian and Mother Rearden) reject it entirely, more than happy to be kept women with Hank as their Sugar Daddy.

Sure, there's that man-worship thing. But as I'm fond of saying, motives don't matter unless you're trying to determine the perpetrator of a crime. What matter are actions.

And Dagny Taggart's actions are to stand on her own two feet.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Meanwhile, we discover . . .

. . . that the Knappster hasn't spent much time in Texas.

If he had, he would know that putting beans in one's chili is an affront to all that is good and moral.

The Texas definition of chili:

The main differences between Texas chili recipes and those other chili recipes is that "real" Texas chili has no beans and the main ingredient, after the meat, is chili peppers - whether chopped, diced, powdered, or liquified. Oh, and Texas chili just tastes better.

You can find a really good chili recipe here.

Are you SURE there's "No Fat Left," Mr. Delay.

Kip discovers something called the NASA Art Program.

Gotta be a joke, you say? There's no WAY American taxpayers are paying for Space Art?

Sadly, it's not a joke.

I just sent an email to NASA asking what the annual budget of the NASA Art Program is. I'm not holding my breath that they'll get back to me.

Bush a socialist?

I woke up this morning with an idea. I intended to write a post called "Bush A Big-Government Conservative," ending with the line "The only thing worse than a big-government liberal is a big-government conservative. At least the liberals don't claim to dislike big government."

But checking online, I find Mr. Sullivan had a similar idea over the weekend, asking if Bush is a socialist.

In the sense of punishing the successful and rewarding the unsuccessful, he's not quite there, although I do have to note that after four and a half years of his Presidency, we STILL don't have a flat income tax rate.

But in the sense of the government trying to fill every need like some OCD-afflicted nanny, he is certainly rapidly approaching socialism.

Which makes him the worst possible combination -- a social authoritarian and an economic authoritarian.

Big Brother wants your DNA.

Senate bill considered to collect and store DNA information from those simply accused of a crime.

The worst part is this:

The provision, co-sponsored by Kyl and Sen. John Cornyn, R-Tex., does not require the government to automatically remove the DNA data of people who are never convicted. Instead, those arrested or detained would have to petition to have their information removed from the database after their cases were resolved.

Why should the government's position be "You're innocent, but we get to keep your information unless you jump through the hoops"?

Shouldn't the default be set to "destroy the information unless the person is convicted"?

Can't believe I missed this.

One of the eminent domainers goes down in flames.
You reap what you sow, Tom Bauer. Don't expect ME to feel sorry for you.

Funny, Saturday the same test said I was a Libertarian.

You are a

Social Liberal
(80% permissive)

and an...

Economic Conservative
(100% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Oprah fakes Katrina dogs rescue for TV.

It's bad enough she was down there exploiting the tragedy for ratings. But it's worse that she faked dog rescues to do it.

What she didn't tell viewers is that McConaughey and the Oprah crew jumped into the effort after two Dallas companies had already begun the rescue: Tenet Healthcare Corp. and Aviation Services Group Inc., which Tenet had hired to evacuate its hospitals.

The segment mentioned neither company nor any other rescuers.


Winfrey tells viewers he had been living there "without food and without water," even though Tenet had dropped enough to keep him and the animals going for days.


"As we landed, we knew we were in the right spot because there was literally a mountain of dog food," said Brent Hudspeth, who helped plan the pet rescue. "He had more dog food than he knew what to do with."

Shame on you, Oprah.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Jeeves a casualty of the Bush Economy.

Where's a middle-aged butler going to find work in these economic times?
You can try to save Jeeves by emailing the corporate greedmeisters at Ask Jeeves using the email addresses on this page.


And why, exactly, are they turning off the lights in the upper floors of New York skyscrapers like they did in Atlas Shrugged? To save energy? No.

To keep from confusing the birdies.

What a bunch of maroons.

At least I'm not the only one who gets it.

My tombstone.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Testing, testing . . .

... is this thing on?

I know you're out there; I can hear you BREATHING!!!

At least I'm not a BAD KANTIAN!

Take your own ethical philosophy test here.

Sweet Little Prince Harry's a security risk?

Seen on Google News this morning:

Life; she is a cruel suppository.

Before I moved to Thayer, I used to buy my Missouri Lotto tickets at the Hilltop Package Store in Lanton, Missouri.

Someone who bought a Lotto ticket there this week won over six million dollars.

If it was raining soup, I'd be allergic to soup.

Why does it happen?
Because it happens.
Roll the bones.

More window shopping.

I found a site where I can design my own tombstone, but only the text of it. And even that doesn't let you put much info ( I wanted to put "Philosopher, Poet, Blogger."), so I'm not going to do them the favor of linking to the site.

Here's one that lets me get closer to my idea, although mine would be black and would have a couple of dice at the top-center.

I'll use Microsoft Paint to design it at home tonight, so you get a better idea.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Window shopping.

I think I want this one.

Either that, or metallic tiger stripes. With silver Sharpies handed out at the funeral for everyone to sign it.

Artist's Rendition of the Jimmy Carter vs. Danger Bunny Episode:

Maybe it'll embiggen itself if you click it. Maybe not.

Help! Mom! There Are Liberals . . .

... soared to #6 on Amazon Wednesday.

One day after it was featured on The Arkanssouri Blog.

Hmmm. . . . cause and effect, anyone?

Anyone, anyone?

Indianapolis Colts trying to steal bean company.

Story here.

Just added the Colts to The List.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Of Three Minds.

It's a tie in the polls again. It seems Arkanssouri readers think baldness is mansexy, girlsexy, AND not sexy on either.

New poll up -- which is worse, being the first among your circle of friends to die, or being the last among your circle of friends to die?

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web -

The only three notable things about the Carter Presidency.

I got a call from an old friend last night, who told me he didn't get the "Avert your eyes, Jimmy Carter!" headline on the story about the giant pink bunny.

It occurs to me that not everyone gets my obscure humor sometimes, so to be helpful, I am listing the Three Notable Things about Jimmy Carter's Presidency, and linking to the skinny on each.

1. The Danger Bunny Episode.
2. Willie Nelson smoked pot on the roof of the White House.
3. His alcoholic, underachieving, urinating-in-public brother Billy.

CNN covering up Honore Coming Unhinged?

He speaks on an imaginary walkie-talkie. You've noticed it; don't pretend you haven't. He ends every statement with "Over," like some tinfoil-hat-wearing post-traumatic stress disorder sufferer.

The media has, for some unknown reason, chosen to ignore this.

And if that was the entirety of it, maybe they should. Because then it could be written off as a strange personality quirk, at least one of which we all have, like washing our hands too much or not walking under ladders.

But yesterday, he came totally unhinged on a reporter for asking a question. I watched it live on the Situation Room.

This'll be good material to blog about tomorrow, I thought. All I'll have to do is search through the show's transcripts using the "Find" function, looking for "Over."

To my dismay, this morning I find that there are no "overs" to end a statement. So I do a manual search of the transcript, and find the transcriber has taken out all but one of the "Overs" he uses to end a statement.

So I have to do some digging, and when I find the relevant text, I find that the transcriber has chosen to use periods instead of exclamation points and bolded text, making Honore seem far more rational than the raving lunatic that came across on the news conference. Here is the text of the relevant passage from the transcript, with my emphasis in bold.

HONORE: We're not going to go by order the mayor or the governor and open
the convention center for people to come in. There are buses there. Is that
clear to you?
Buses parked. There are 4,000 troops there. People come; they get on a bus; they get on a truck; they move on. Is that clear? Is that clear to the public?


HONORE: That's not your business.

QUESTION: General...

HONORE: Wait a minute. It didn't work the first time. This ain't the first
time. OK? If we don't control Rita -- understand -- so there will be a lot of
pieces of it that's going to be worked out. You got good public servants working
through it. Let's get a little trust here because you're starting to act like
this is your problem. You're carrying the message. OK?
What we're going to do is have the buses staged. The initial place is the convention center. We're not
going to announce other places at this time until we get a plan set and we'll
let people know where those locations are through the government and through a
public announcement. Right now, to handle the number of people that want to
leave, we've got the capacity. You will come to the convention center -- there
are soldiers there from the 82nd Airborne and from the Louisiana National Guard.
People will be told to get on the bus and we will take care of them. And where
they go will be dependent on the capacity in the state. We have our
communications up and we will tell them where to go. And when they get there,
they'll be given the opportunity to get registered and so they can let their
families knows where they are. But don't start panic here. OK? We've got a
location. It is in the front of the convention center and that's where will use
to migrate people from.

QUESTION: General Honore, we were told that Vernon Stadium (inaudible) will
be another staging area. Are you using that area yet or not?

HONORE: Not to my knowledge. Again, the current place -- we just told you
one time is the convention center. Once we complete the plan with the mayor, and it's approved by the governor, then we'll start that in the next 12 to 24 hours. And understand that there's a problem in getting communications out. That's
where we need your help. But let's not confuse the questions with the answers. Buses at the convention center will move our citizens, for whom we have sworn that we will support and defend. And we'll move them on.Let's not get stuck on the last storm. You're asking last storm questions for people who are concerned about the future storm. Don't get stuck on stupid, reporters. We're moving forward. And don't confuse the people, please. You're a part of the public message. So help us get the message straight. And if you don't understand it, maybe it's confusing to the people. That's why we like the follow-up questions.But right now it's the convention center and move on.

QUESTION: (OFF-MIKE) just understand a little bit more about why that's
happening this time, though, and did not happen last time.

HONORE: You are stuck on stupid. I'm not going to answer that question. We are going to deal with Rita. This is public information that people are depending on the government to put out. This is the way we got to do it.So, please, I apologize to you, but let's talk about the future. Rita has happened. Right now we need to get good, clean information out to the people that they can use. And we can have a conversation on the side about the past a few months from now. OK?

The transcript doesn't do it justice. I'm HOPING someone in the blogosphere has video of the incident.

He seems to think the media is supposed to follow his orders, like his unit is. He seems to think he gets to dictate what questions they ask. It's none of their business? You mean these aren't the droids they're looking for? What an arrogant bastard. It literally IS their business. If you don't want to answer their questions, then issue a statement and don't open it up for a question and answer session! Stuck on stupid? Where does this guy get off?

The movie Apocalypse Now is about a military officer who has gone off the deep end. He's let the power of never having anyone question his orders or his actions go to his head. In the opening scene of the movie, the song The End by The Doors plays. I think inside Honore's head the beginning notes of that song are on an infinite playback loop. He's got his own private Apocalypse Nawlins going on. Watch for surfers on Lake Ponchartrain.

If Corporal Klinger had constantly talked on an invisible walkie-talkie, he might have GOTTEN that Section 8 he wanted so badly. And he'd have deserved it.

If President Bush had the media savvy of President Clinton, he'd have hired a press spokesman for Honore at the first sign of the imaginary walkie-talkie. And kept him far, far away from the normals.

The reporters in your opinion be stuck on stupid, General. But you're stuck on wackadoo, over.

[10:42 AM Update: Radioblogger has an MP3 of the exchange. The Political Teen has video.]

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Revised deathdate.

The Deathclock now says I'll begin taking the long dirtnap on Tuesday, August 11, 2015.

I wish it would make up it's mind. I have affairs to get in order.

Such as finding collections of Japanese Death Poetry.


Earth and metal...
although my breathing ceases
time and tide go on.

After several minutes of uncontrollable projectile vomiting...

... I turned off Monday Night Football so that I no longer had to look at these. Again.

"Oh, God, get it off! Get it off me! It burns!"

Without the toxic stimulus, my symptoms disappeared.

Horrible. Just freakin' horrible.

The Meddlers are at it again.

Groups want cigarette tax boost of 80 cents per pack in Missouri.

And we also have this, from another source:

Missouri cigarette taxes next to last in nation.

And I suppose if the rest of the nation wiped it's ass with sandpaper, Missouri should do so too?

A fashion don't.

This should be of special interest to Callie, who may find herself in need of an excuse sometime:

Mans clothes ignite carpet, force evacuation of building.

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing electrical current that was building up as his clothes rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

Another reason I'm not voting for the Republicans ever again.

They're much too interested in my reading habits.

The new [FBI] squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

Another excerpt:

But Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children.

Note to the Attorney General: Porn doesn't kill people; people kill people.

Nagin: Worst. Mayor. Ever.

Mayor Nagin to New Orleans residents: Go away! Come back NOW! Go away again!

In our next episode, Mayor Nagin pleads with residents to return, saying he deserves just one more chance . . .

By the way, Mister Mayor, Montell Williams called. He wants his look back.

From our "PC Run Amok" bureau...

... this is an actual quote (emphasis mine, not theirs)from a news story:

THE fast-food chain, Burger King, is withdrawing its ice-cream cones after the lid of the dessert offended a Muslim.

Another quote from the same story:

"This is my jihad. How can you say it is a spinning swirl? If you spin it one way to the right you are offending Muslims."

Avert your eyes, Jimmy Carter.

What would the world do without the artsy-fartsy types?

Oh, sure.

Blame it on the Greeks, whydon'tcha?

Should the Atlantic see more than 21 named storms "additional storms will
take names from the Greek alphabet: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, and so on,"
according to the National Hurricane Center Web site.


The letters Q, U, X, Y and Z are skipped because not enough names start with those letters, Brown said.

Quincy. Ursula. Xavier. Yvette. Zelda.

Οι ανεγκέφαλοι γραφειοκράτες πρέπει να πάνε σέρνονται κάτω από έναν βράχο.

The definition of madness.

It's been said that madness is repeating the same activity the same way over and over again and expecting a different result.

New London shut down a City Council meeting Monday night because the number of people in the audience exceeded the safe occupancy number, as determined by the city's Fire Marshall.

They then rescheduled the meeting for tonight. And it may be at the same location.

Free speech for me, but not for thee.

Ronald Reagan once gave an amused sigh at the liberals and dismissed them with a "They mean well."

I'm not so sure they do.

Because they want free speech for liberals, but not for conservatives or libertarians.

Remember their staunch defense of Heather Has Two Mommies?

Yet they are outraged at Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!

As a good libertarian, I'm not offended by either. But if the liberals don't quit their yappin', I may offer to write a couple of sequels -- Help! Mom! A Liberal Shot Vince Foster! and Help! Mom! A Liberal Drowned His Secretary!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Time, time ticketh...

Somehow, over the weekend, I've gained two years. Now I'm scheduled to die Friday, September 29th, 2017.

At least I'll make it past the 2016 Presidential elections.

I wonder what it'd take to stretch it out until after the 2020 ones?

Quitting smoking will only give me a couple years of borrowed time -- I'd die Wednesday, October 2, 2019.

Damn. Switching from a pessimistic personality to a normal one would then push back the reaper until Tuesday, November 1, 2039. But I know me. Ain't gonna happen.

If this thing factored in the history of heart disease on my father's side (heart attack took my dad at age 68 and his dad at 56) and the history of cancer and stroke on my mother's, my expiration date would be about . . . last Tuesday.

Ask not for whom the reaper gestures; he gestures for me.

I have GOT to get my affairs in order.

Why Objectivism is not a religion.

Geserit at the Ayn Rand Livejournal forum began an interesting discussion.

But, like most armchair philosophers, the participants use far too many extraneous words.

It can be reduced to Howard Roarkian efficiency.

Objectivism is not a religion because all religions demand certain matters be taken on faith. Objectivists are encouraged to take NOTHING on faith, but rather rational skepticism. Even Ayn Rand's own words.

The sad thing is . . .

... that this blogger THINKS he or she gets it.

Wanggo of Indulgences dislikes Atlas Shrugged because, get this, there aren't enough grey areas.

Hello?!??! One of the main THEMES of the book, and of her philosophy, is that mushy, indecisive grey areas are evil. Moral certainty is the whole POINT.

Gummint Cheese.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Jeez... 312,538,544 seconds left.

Saturday, August 15, 2015. Mark that date on your calendar, boys and girls.

It's the day The Death Clock has scheduled me to die.

I have less than ten years until then.

Should I celebrate my deathday every year on August 15th?

Oh, GAWD No!

As if the (false) association with Lyndon LaRouche wasn't bad enough! This may be even worse:

I went for a walk and met Cindy Sheehan. She was at the back of the stage with some rather large Marine guys. I waited patiently while she took some sort of political quiz. She circled responses for questions and seemed to be upset because she may have turned out Libertarian.

Believe me, she's not nearly as upset about the association as the Libertarians are!

Fatwa Patty Strikes Again.

Says God wiped out Nawlins because Ellen Degeneres was to be Emmy host.

1. I doubt God watches the Emmys.
2. If He did, what, he wanted Chris Rock instead?
3. Someone put this guy in an asylum before he pulls a Timothy McVeigh.

Lions Club trying to steal disabled woman's home.

Cowardly lions we can deal with.

Vile, scumbag, landgrabby Lions should be caged.

You can let them know what you think of their actions by emailing .

You BETCHA I've already put them on The List!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Lesbians, beware.

Tongue-eating bug found in fish.

Tongue. Fish. Nudge-nudge.

I'm going to hell for this, aren't I?

The Permanently Homeless are envious...

... of the warm welcome hurricane evacuees are getting.

They should ask themselves how it would improve THEIR situation if society turned away the hurricane refugees.

The Katrina evacuees are homeless because a hurricane hit their homes. The Permanently Homeless need to ask themselves, "Am I homeless because of my own actions? Did I drink too much, not show up for work, and get fired? Did I quit school? Do I refuse to do the things that will improve my situation?"

If the answer is yes, the STFU about how we're treating the hurricane evacuees. In fact, just STFU period.

Nagin: Stalag New Orleans is much nicer than that free place it once was.

"For the first time that anyone can remember, we have a city that's drug-free and violence-free," Nagin said. He added that gang members and drug dealers, who help make New Orleans the murder capital of the U.S., would find "a rude awakening" if they tried to return to business as usual in the Big Easy. Nagin said military forces would remain in the city for the foreseeable future.

Story here.

Question, Mayor Nagin: When and if Mardi Gras resumes, should the military be used to police boob-flashers? Pot smokers? Jaywalkers?

"Something else?"

I have a sneaking suspicion the Feds got punk'd.

In response to a question that asked, “Do you think of yourself as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or something else?” 90 percent of men 18-44 years of age responded that they think of themselves as heterosexual, 2.3 percent of men answered homosexual, 1.8 percent bisexual, 3.9 percent “something else,”

Serves 'em right. Note the government chose not to include an option that read, "NONE OF THE GOVERNMENT'S DAMN BUSINESS!"

Rage on, you 3.9 percent, you.


Reuters acknowledges it Photoshopped Bush's note, which explained that he, like the Pope, occasionally has to pee.

Once he saw what it said, Hershorn decided the note was interesting and worth publishing. The white parts of the picture were overexposed, so a Reuters processor used Photoshop to burn down the note.

Razor brinkmanship.

The razor blade nuclear arms race continues to escalate.

Me, I'll stick with my trusty old Gillette M3 Power, which, now that's it no longer the razeur du jour, should begin dropping in price.

Didn't this guy claim to be a fiscal conservative?

$200 billion. That's 2 followed by eleven zeroes.

Get your checkbook out. That $200 billion, divided by the population of the United States (293,027,571), means that your share to pay is just short of $682.53.

It also means that the government could cut a check to every man, woman, and child evacuated from the storm (the best figure I can find is 1.1 million) for $181,818.18.

Here's my proposal -- cut checks for half that amount, end the operation, and be done with it. Ninety thousand dollars is more than enough to get started on a new life. Those who lost more than ninety thousand dollars in the storm certainly had the means and the opportunity to buy flood insurance. If they didn't do so, it's their fault, not the federal taxpayers'.

Just like it's not the taxpayers' fault that all those people chose to live without flood insurance inside a giant bathtub with water on three sides of it. It's unfortunate that they did so, but unfortunate doesn't make it my fault, or my responsibility to bail out their bad choices.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Big Brother isn't just watching...

... he's listening, too.

Specifically, he's listening to you type.

And, oh yes, he can tell when you're only typing with one hand.

What's worse, he's compiling it all into a comprehensive global database, much like the Mormons', but on a global, rather than national, scale.

Damn Mormons. I wonder if they rent out their database to the Jehovah's Witnesses. How else would the JHers know where I live?

The watchful eyes didn't save the victims of the London train bombings, now did they?

Corzine, Pussy Extraordinaire.

Corzine won't participate in debates with third-party candidates.

What's he so afraid of?

The unwillingness to debate a position is a function of the weakness of that position.

This is what passes as newsworthy to Reuters.


How DARE he, what with the aftermath of Katrina to deal with?

Any day you can get the liberals' panties in a wad . . .

. . . is a good day.

Mr. Hanna of Tom Rants had a very good day.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


All poll respondents, to the question "Altruism -- does it suck?" answered either "Yes" or "Damn straight it sucks!"

New poll up today --

"Baldness -- is it sexy?"

"The system worked?"

Bigot cop fired, five months after using his position to spew hatred at gay men.

Why did it take five months? Shouldn't his ass have been in the unemployment line the next day?

Or perhaps a better question would be, would it have taken five months if his hatred had been directed at women by calling them "CUNTS!" on duty? Would it have taken five months if he'd called black men "Goddamn NIGGERS!"?

I don't think so.

Tempe Landrustlers handed a legal defeat.

Judge says no to private-party-to-private-party eminent domain action.

Note to Tempe city government: if you ever want my commerce back, don't appeal.

How long did Lazarus live after he died?

Looks like The Bear Review is dead again.

If I had the funds, I'd buy up the domain name and try to resurrect it again, maybe as a catchall for OBRs (Original Bear Reviewers)who now blog.

But I don't. It's sad that we now live in a world where there is once again no Bear Review. I'll miss all those dancing girls.

But I DID find The Undercurrent. If we can just get them to put some can-can girls on staff, it'll be like old times, almost.

How are they going to blame THIS one on Bush?

Rep. William Jefferson (D-LA) diverted rescuers to pick up personal effects at his house.

Story here.

"I don't think there is any explanation for an elected official using resources for their own personal use, when those resources should be doing search and rescue, or they should be helping with law enforcement in the city," said Jerry Hauer, a homeland security expert and ABC News consultant.

Speaking of power outages...

... Thayer MO had one yesterday afternoon. It lasted about 45 minutes. I went out on the smoking terrace and waited for Wolf Blitzer to come and insist I was in the Situation Room.

He never did.

I guess us flyover people don't merit CNN's attention, unless there's a hurricane.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Quiktrip added to list of Landthieves.

Story here.

Grumbling about new residential construction has been consistent, but the energy for the recall comes from a commercial project: Bauer's support of using eminent domain to make way for a gas station and convenience store.

The proposal is to force several property owners to sell so that a QuikTrip can be built near the corner of Manchester and McCausland avenues.

See the updated Landthieves Wiki here for contact information for the company so you can let them know how you feel about their thieving ways.

Landgrabber in The Lou targetted for recall.

Reap what you sow, you bastard.

Wal-Mart's Katrina charity efforts . . .

. . . turn out to be only a brief intermission. We see here that it has resumed it's evil, landgrabby ways.

I've got a proposal.

Relocate the citizens of New Orleans to New London CT permanently.

And relocate the pro-eminent-domain citizens of the city of New London to New Orleans, with a stipulation that they can't rebuild the levees until AFTER the next hurricane hits. And they all must wear anchors and not leave the city.

New London issues eviction orders to homeowners, despite moratorium.

Church targets immigrant's land for eminent domain.

The Christianity Lobby wants a piece of the land-grab action.

Some patients euthanized in Katrina aftermath.

I don't know how much stock to put in this story; it IS The Mail, after all.

Hat tip to Wulf @ Atlas Blogged.


Baby born to braindead woman dies.

Why aren't the networks spending as much time telling us about the tragic end of this story as they did telling us about the middle of it?

Lamest. Disaster. Ever.

The Situation Room spent hours and hours yesterday telling us there was a power outage that lasted about an hour and a half in parts of Los Angeles.

Here in the south/midwest, power outages happen. Nothing to get upset about. Certainly nothing to devote national news coverage to.

Here's my favorite snippet:

BLITZER: I am sure that this is strictly coincidental, Jen, but I do want to point out and remind our viewers only yesterday there was an al Qaeda video from an American member of al Qaeda, who suggested that Los Angeles, suggested that Los Angeles was a potential target of al Qaeda. Melbourne, Australia, was mentioned as well. But once again our Jeanne Meserve, our homeland security correspondent, quoting her sources at the Department of Homeland Security, as well as Jen Rogers, quoting sources over at the LAPD, suggesting that there's no indication that terrorism has played any role in this power outage in the Los Angeles area.

Then why are you bringing it up? There's no indication it was caused by a cult of Presbyterian gnomes, either. Why not bring up that possibility and then say there's no indication of that.

It is just such attempts to hype events that caused a lot of people to stay in New Orleans. Remember the hyperventilating Anderson Cooper did on an earlier hurricane this year when it blew down a sign? Remember Hurricane One?

So this time, when tne networks warned the people of New Orleans about the approach of Katrina, isn't it reasonable to assume that some people believed the networks were just crying wolf again?

Oh my God. The wind is blowing. Maybe CNN should break in for live coverage.

I can spell "laissez-faire." Really.

Damn typos.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Submitted for your perusal...

Atlas Blogged.

swmo libertarian.

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web -

This sentence makes my brain hurt.

I ran across this while news googling this morning:

The HFEA are relentlessly imposing their libertarian agenda on the people of this country against their wishes.

How does one impose a libertarian agenda, exactly? By minding one's own business? By laissez-faireing them into submission?

What I Learned Over The Weekend.

It's hard to check the brake lights on your car when you are the only person there.

Bill Cosby, one-worlder.

It's bad enough that he's a looter. But what's worse is that he goes to the UN to do his looting.

Is it inappropriate of me . . .

. . . to point out that Thad Allen is kind of hot?

I must have some sort of "Rescue Me" complex, because I thought the same thing about Bernie Kerik after 9/11.


Confirmation hearings for Judge Cutiepie start today!

Normally, I would support the devil I know over the devil I don't know, but what's a guy to do when the devil I don't know is so gosh-darned cute?

Heh, heh, heh. Not as anonymous as they thought.

Anonymity is a giant petri dish in which bigotry thrives. Cowards, when hidden under a Klansman's hood, will do things they wouldn't do normally.

One gay couple in Massachusetts rips away some of the cloak of anonymity by publishing on their website the (publicly available, but until this, damned inconvenient to find) names and addresses of people who sign a petition seeking to revoke gay marriage in that state.

You don't want people to know you're a bigot? Then either don't be a bigot, or don't try to impose your bigotry on other people.

Hat tip to A Stitch in Haste.

But don't the liberals tell us the wealthy are evil, heartless bastards?

Texas oil tycoon Boone Pickens and his wife, Madeleine, chartered a Continental flight for $50,000 to airlift dogs out of the Katrina area.

Story here.

What has Jane Fonda done? What has Streisand done? What has Rosie O'Donnell done?

For that matter, what has Nancy Pelosi done, other than bitch?

Do they eat pudding in the film?

Brokeback Mountain, a tale of gay cowboy love.

No word on whether the sequels will be tales of Indian love, construction worker love, police love, or leather daddy love.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Father Mike would have forgiven the subhumans who killed him.

I am not as great a man as Father Mike.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

How do you honor the memories of people murdered by Islamofascist terrorists?

Picture credit: Zombie.

By making their memorial a giant red crescent, of course.

What is WRONG with these people? CQ discovers the memorial was INTENDED to offend here.

One of Michelle Malkin's readers has the right idea:

I propose a single block of unfinished granite, representing the enduring
and unvarnished legacy of Flight 93 with the immortal line, “Let’s Roll” hewn
into it in 5’ high letters. A panel below should be smoothed and polished and
the names of the fallen engraved there along with a description of their actions
that day. In front of this would be a simple paved plaza with one flagpole
facing the monument in their honour. Let the memorial be simple and
straightforward, uncluttered by the baggage of others and with a clear and
unambiguous message for all who would stand before it.

Maybe we should raise money to erect our own such memorial. Maybe at the site from which the plane took off?

The farthest-reaching contaminant in New Orleans...

... may not be e. coli, cholera, or any other biological agent.

It may be lead. We may be looking at the world's largest Superfund site, just to clean out the lead. If that's even possible.

You loot, we shoot!

You gotta admire a guy with initiative.

Took all morning, but I found the problem.

It seems Blogger didn't like all those equal signs I was using as a post divider.

Friday, September 09, 2005

My margins are screwed up.

For some reason, although I haven't been fiddling with my template today, my columns look funny.

Dunno if it's a problem with the template or with the computer I'm using (which is sometimes the case here at the library.)

So bear with me until I can figure it out.

Maybe it'll fix itself, as it sometimes does.

On the school-as-evacuee-shelter front...

... I forwarded the email from Chuck Purgason to the school, and printed out a copy and dropped it in the mail slot at City Hall (they were closed for lunch.)

I'm right now in the process of putting the media on their trail.

That's all I can do.

Tacky. Obscenely opportunistic.

Kia Sportage has this commercial I've seen a couple of times since Katrina.

It begins with something about being trapped in the city and mentions "It's everyone's right to leave the city." It looks like it's trying to say that if those poor people had only bought Kia Sportages, they wouldn't have been trapped in New Orleans.

Unfortunately, the commercial is not on their website.

Does anyone know whether this commercial was produced before or after Katrina? The look of it seems pretty hastily-put-together, but not that hastily, so I don't know. If they made the commercial before Katrina, it's a matter of tragically unfortunate timing.

If the company made it after Katrina, however, it is unconscionable.

Awright, you pithikosophobes...

... you can end your hate campaign any time now.

Turns out it might not have been their fault.

The real enemy is:

... or at least the African dude who got jiggy with one.

Is that a top secret document in your pants,

or are you just happy to see me?

Berger gets a slap on the wrist.

Ayn Rand said there are two kinds of people...

...Traders and Looters.

Traders are people who get what they want through contract, negotiation and consent.

Looters are people who sieze what they want through coercion, theft, deception, and government favoritism.

In my book, the Red Cross just placed itself firmly in the Looters column.

Acting on an emergency request from the American Red Cross, the FCC on Friday handed over control of the toll-free number 1-800-RED-CROSS to the nonprofit group, unceremoniously plucking it from the hands of corporate digit-squatters who'd been hoping for a six-figure payday.

If the Red Cross wanted it, it should have laid claim on the number when 1-800 numbers first came into being. It certainly had the means and the opportunity to do so, even more so than the guy who got it.

Hat tip to Kippy.

[On a (barely) related note, I'm trying to crystalize my own models of people in my own mind -- Hosts, Brokers, and Parasites. I'm
having problems integrating the Mutually Beneficial Trade into that model, though.]

Thursday, September 08, 2005

And all Springfield did was give him the bird.

Years...many years ago, Rod Stewart sold out Hammons Student Center at Southwest Missouri State University (now MSU). At the last minute, he cancelled the show, claiming to be sick.

But the college community found out he had a show booked in Minneapolis that night which brought in more money.

In short, he lied.

A local radio station parodied his then-hit "Forever Young" into "Forever Scum" and bought a junker Thunderbird for fans to sign with what exactly they thought of the lying bastard. The station then proceeded to "give him the bird," which is admittedly a pretty lame promotion.

It seems Rod Stewart is up to his old tricks again. This time it's gonna cost him a couple mil.

Throat surgery? Maybe it was damaged from that time he had to have his stomach pumped because of, well... you know . . .

Christmas is cancelled. Again.

Went to get the car seat fixed this morning. Had to pay for it out of the money I was saving up for Christmas.

Christmas is a stupid holiday anyway.

Got a response on my idea to use the school for an evacuee shelter.

Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the response I was looking for:

In order to coordinate all efforts, the Governor has appointed Adjutant
General King Sidwell to be Missouri's Hurricane Relief Coordinator. Your
idea for the school has merit. Your city officials should contact the
Adjutant General to alert him if it is indeed available. Contact numbers
for Emergency Operations Centers are 573-638-9803, 573-638-9804,

Thank you for thinking of those in need.

Chuck Purgason

I already know ahead of time what the response will be from my local officials. Though they won't say it, they will be thinking "We don't want any of those people here." And they will flat out reject the idea.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Express your inner Ayn Rand...

... or your inner Hillary Clinton, if that's your proclivity.

Take the new poll Altruism: Does it suck? in the left-hand column now.

BTW: Results from the MEN ONLY poll? Unanimously, men prefer piece to war. All we are saying is give piece a chance.

The common definition of "refugee."

Refugee: n. - One who flees to a shelter, or place of safety.

How does this not apply to the evacuees from the Gulf Coast? While they don't fit the 1951 definition, they do fit the common usage of the term.

So why are people so upset when the evacuees are called refugees?

There is no moral judgement in the term "refugee." One can be an American and a refugee at the same time. One can be a Louisianan and a refugee. Or a taxpayer and a refugee.

And the last person I need lecturing me on who is a refugee is zillionaire Oprah Winfrey.

Rest in Peace, Little Buddy.


For a week now, all we've been hearing is that the Bush Administration failed the disaster victims.

It's a legitimate point. The federal government DID fail the disaster victims.

But they weren't the only ones. The state and local governments failed them too.

For some reason, the media has given them a pass.

But that may be changing.

In the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina, Mayor Ray Nagin did not use hundreds of buses that were sitting in bus yards, some less than a mile from the Superdome, to evacuate citizens who were too poor to make their way out of the city. Louisiana Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco commented, "The buses could have saved an estimated 20,000 people if they had been used for emergency evacuations which President Bush had declared two days before Katrina hit."

Before Katrina hit, Nagin said he had the authority to commandeer private vehicles. Why didn't he do it? Why did he leave all those poor people in the city?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

An end run around democracy.

I have learned that Thayer city government ignores pressure from below and only responds to pressure from above, so I am sending the following email to my state and federal representatives.

The city of Thayer Missouri recently built a new elementary school. As far as I know, the old school is unused and empty. I think this would make a good shelter for many evacuees. Here is the phone number for the Thayer city clerk's office: (417) 264-3921 and the schools: (417) 264-7261.

Cindy, Cindy, Cindy...

Didn't you realize that when the cameras went elsewhere, Jesse Jackson would drop you like a knocked-up mistress?

He goes where the cameras are. One of these days, the downtrodden will realize that Jesse Jackson cares not a whit about them. All he cares about is seeing his own picture on TV.

What does it mean?

What does it mean when my traffic triples when I'm NOT posting?

One day during my hiatus I got over 300 hits. Unfortunately, my Referrers Page only lists the last ten incoming hits, so I don't know why.

This is what altruism gets you.

Saturday, I think it was.

I'm pulling into the Country Mart parking lot and I see a fire truck. The Muscular Dystrophy Association is having a "fill the boot" type donation drive.

My Ford Escort is really too small for me. I must point that out.

I put the car in park and try to reach into my front pocket for some change to give them. I can't quite reach it. I stretch out my leg, pressing against the floorboard with my foot.

I hear a loud POP and fall backward.

I have broken the seat.

Ayn Rand was right.

Someone's drinking Gatorade.

I just hope it's the people I intended to get it.

I bought a couple of cases of Gatorade and brought it to the Thayer football field a couple of hours before the game Friday night. They were collecting nonperishables to send to the Gulf Coast.

The truck hadn't shown up yet when I got there. One of the Thayer Booster chicks said I could leave it behind the concession stand and they'd put it on the truck for me.

I haven't heard anything yet about whether or not the truck ever showed up.

Is it just me,

or is Mayor Nagin's blaming everyone but his own city government for the situation New Orleans is in wearing thin?

Nagin was elected in 2002. You would think that in three years, he could have done SOMETHING to upgrade the levees, especially considering the hyperventilating he did about them during Hurricane Ivan.

But you see, he didn't want the city to pay for the upgrades itself. He wanted Plantation Master Uncle Sam to do it. Never mind that New Orleans had enough resources to bring two major sports franchises to it. New Orleans could pay for entertainment, but not for it's own needs?

So you can shout "Goddamn" and "I am pissed" all you want, Mr. Mayor. But the first person you should be pissed at is the one in the mirror.

As I Was Saying Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted.

I didn't mean to be gone so long, honest.

[Heckler In The Audience:] "We didn't notice you went anywhere!"

I meant to return Saturday, but Saturday I got the bright idea to go to a yard sale, where I found a 90-inch sleeper sofa I just HAD to have. The guy even delivered it to my house. I had him drop it off in my front yard.

I spent the entire morning trying to fit the damn thing through my front door, and once I managed to get it in, I had to spend most of the rest of the day recovering.

No big deal, I thought. I'll go blog Monday.

What I didn't remember was that Monday was Labor Day.

My life is a dramedy of errors.

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