The Arkanssouri Blog.: 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Unintended consequences.

If Hillary had never made the "It Takes A Socialist Village" Speech insisting that we should all be "in it" together . . .

. . . then I wouldn't have made certain comments on certain websites . . .

. . . and Gaius wouldn't have responded with this:

Thank you, Hillary. You have provided the kindling with which your opponents will burn you.

I rock. As do Gaius and other non-collectivists.


20 people . . .

. . . who would have been ineligible to graduate from Black River Public School:

1. Joseph Chamberlain , British statesman; 2. Grover Cleveland , U.S. president; 3. Joseph Conrad , British author; 4. Aaron Copland , U.S. composer; 5. Hart Crane , U.S. poet; 6. Eugene Debs , U.S. socialist leader; 7. Amelia Earhart , U.S. aviator; 8. Paul Gauguin , French painter; 9. Kahlil Gibran , Syrian author and painter; 10. Ernest Hemingway , U.S. author; 11. Rudyard Kipling , British author; 12. Abraham Lincoln , U.S. president; 13. H. L. Mencken , U.S. editor and journalist; 14. John D. Rockefeller , U.S. oil magnate; 15. Eleanor Roosevelt , U.S. lecturer, author, and humanitarian; 16. George Bernard Shaw , British playwright and critic; 17. Dylan Thomas , British poet; 18. Harry S Truman , U.S. president; 19. George Washington , U.S. president; 20. Virginia Woolf , British author. (Wallechinsky/Wallace, The Book of Lists , p. 277)

[List borrowed from here.]

You see; if you don't apply to, and get accepted to, a four-year college, Black River Public School won't let you have a diploma.

Plan on going to a two-year college near home right after high school, then transferring to a four-year university to save money? Tough titties.

Single mom at age 19 returning to high school just to get a diploma after making the very bad choice of dropping out? Too bad, so sad.

Already got a career lined up at your dad's company and you'll never NEED a college diploma? Tough shit.

Black River isn't just a Forced-Labor Camp or a Government Indoctrination Center; it's also the Center for the Advancement of Educational Bureaucracy! Is Black River going to cover the fees and other costs incurred during the application process? I doubt it.

Contact info for Black River Public School administration, who apparently need to be reminded that they should not stick their noses where their noses don't belong:

email -- or

(They may have intentionally botched the second one to keep from having to read email about this subject. The guy's last name is Angerer, so you might also send one to

Black River Public Schools
491 Columbia Avenue
Holland, MI 49423
Phone (616) 355-0055
Fax (616) 355-0057

There's a whole list of phone extensions here.

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Gayest Term Ever.

And, surprisingly, it comes from my stodgy, conservative, ultra-heterosexual friend Kevin Whited:

What in the world is so wrong with charcoal? I'm kind of a fan of the stuff, mess and inconvenience and all. That "20 to 30 minutes" of waiting is perfect for a drinky tink, after all.

There may be hope for the boy yet. :)

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Minion Participation Time.

A couple of mornings ago, I went to a local convenience store.

One of the things I bought was a scratch-off lottery ticket.

I pay for my items and go out to the car.

Before heading home, I scratch off the lottery ticket.

While I am doing so, a black pickup pulls into the parking space next to mine.

The guy leaves it running, apparently to keep the air conditioning going, and goes in for a quick stop.

I look over and see, in the passenger seat, a baby in a car seat. Left alone. In an unlocked, running truck.

Question: Should I have left a note under his windshield wiper that said, "In the time it took you to get back out here, I COULD have stolen both your truck AND your baby."?

Or could that have been interpreted as a threat, which in today's surveillance society, probably would have been caught on camera?



I've been buying a 'mater plant here and a 'mater plant there for a few weeks now.

I counted them the other day.

I have 41 freakin' tomato plants!

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Peace Hag calls it a day.

Is this the part where . . .

. . . Atlas Shrugged fans get their hopes dashed about a possible movie . . . AGAIN?

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By "encourage," Brit Brother means "force."

Secret plans by British government to "encourage" citizens to go vegan.

It's FISH and chips, people, not TOFU and chips.

Eat a burger today, while you still can.

[H/T 2 The Jones Report.]

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Hillary: It's the (lack of enough socialism in the) economy, stupid!

When Rodham-Clinton's husband began wee-weeing all over himself about communitarianism, Bear Review editor-in-chief Kevin Whited noted that communitarianism seemed to him to be nothing more than communism with a few extraneous letters thrown in.

Now Hillary has chosen to dredge up the old leftist resentment of the capitalist, laissez-faire "I'll take care of me; you take care of you" approach, in what I have dubbed the "It Takes A Socialist Village" speech:

MANCHESTER, N.H. - Presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton outlined a broad [anti-]economic vision Tuesday, saying it's time to replace an "on your own" society with one based on shared responsibility and prosperity.

The Democratic senator said what the Bush administration touts as an ownership society really is an "on your own" society that has widened the gap between rich and poor.

"I prefer a 'we're all in it together' society," she said. "I believe our government can once again work for all Americans. It can promote the great American tradition of opportunity for all and special privileges for none."

My responsibility and prosperity are my own, Ms. Rodham. You and your fellow looters have no legitimate claim to a share in them.

When we're all in it together, Ms. Rodham, the "it" is invariably the toilet. The Soviets were all in it together, and their society collapsed. The Cubans are all in it together, and they are driving old American wrecks from the 1950's rather than manufacturing their own vehicles. The North Koreans are all in it together, and they are eating their children. These are not models I hope my country follows.

I'll take my America the way it is, thank you very much. And the way it is, or rather the way it used to be before your type came along, is free, liberty-loving, individual-rights-respecting, and capitalist. In other words, an ownership society.

More thoughts at Captain's Quarters and Blue Crab Boulevard.

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]
Ron Paul for President.

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And the wind cries . . .

. . . Monkee!

[H/T 2 jstnxprsn.]

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Gummint Cheese: Roadtrip.

Click pic to embiggen.

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What Mars Uranus?

There's a problem with Uranus.

Hoyle doesn't recognize it as a word in it's Word Yacht game.

But it recognizes Mars.

Probably as the plural of "mar," not as the planet.

I should probably take a break from playing the game.

I leave a radio running at night on AM talk shows, to fall asleep to.

At some point in the night, the sounds cross some blurry Annoyance Threshold and I reach over and turn it off without quite waking up.

The last two nights, I have awoken to find myself furiously trying to type words into the radio to get it to turn off.

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Suppose'n they mated.

This is what the Jolie-Pitt child will look like as an adult.

A really good-looking drag queen, apparently.

This is his half-brother, the one Brad Pitt had with Ben Affleck:

Brad doesn't know about Ben's little tryst with Angelina:

And this is George W. Bush's long-lost alcoholic, public-urinatin' brother Billy:

Declare your Independence.

Take the opportunity by July 4th to declare your Independence from exorbitant gas prices by pledging to, in protest, stop mowing your lawn until gas prices fall below $2.50.

Take the pledge here.

[Yeah, yeah, I *know* that's a clunky place to put "in protest," but I couldn't find a better spot. If I'd gone with "stop mowing your lawn in protest," you'd have responded with "But I'm not doing it in protest NOW; I'm doing it because it needs to be mowed!"]

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Why Wisconsin Sucks, Part 5.


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What's the phrase I'm looking for?

Oh yeah.


Do we really need to see THREE vocal left-wingers ganging up on poor
conservative Elisabeth? I don't think so. We can probably assume Merideth is fairly liberal, but she managed in her role as moderator on the program to keep her own ideology out of most of the discussion. Star Jones and Joy Behar slobber all over Al Gore every chance they get and are genetically incapable of objectivity. And O'Donnell is twice as bad as both of them put together. Remember her screeching at Tom Selleck and her assertions that "All guns should be outlawed, and all gun owners should be put in jail."? Run, Elisabeth. As fast as you can. Get away from them. As soon as possible.

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Gummint Cheese: EL SABOT @ the Government Literature Center

Clic pic to embiggen.

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What the hell kind of reason is that?

City of Melissa TX to potential energy conservers:

You can't bring a wind turbine if you don't bring enough for everybody!

In Melissa, a community of 5,000 people squarely in sight of suburban strip
malls and encroaching cookie-cutter subdivisions, Mayor David Dorman said he
embraces green thinking.

And in neighboring McKinney, Wal-Mart built its nationally lauded "green"
store that includes a 120-foot turbine spinning above the entrance.

But Dorman said the city code does not provide for residential turbines, an
omission not uncommon outside energy-progressive places such as

Dorman also said it might be unfair to allow some people to have a
technology that is not available to others who do not have the money or the yard space.

These people can't have a windmill on their own property because their neighbors might suffer from Turbine Envy?

Note to neighbors: If you want a turbine, go buy one. If you can't afford one, either hump up and take it or go get a better job.

This is a perfect example of why planning and zoning should be abolished.

These people are the good kind of green. They choose to save energy on their own, without imposing rules and restrictions on their neighbors. But the city of Melissa won't let them.

You can't save energy individually in Melissa. You have to let Big Brother do it FOR you.

Melissa is a commie bitch.

"To ALLOW some people to have a technology . . ."

Maybe Melissa isn't in Texas. It sounds like it's more in the Soviet Union in the 70's.

UPDATE: Here are the brick& mortar and email addys and phone numbers of some of the city of Melissa's officials:

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Friday, May 25, 2007

What does it say about the Left . . .

. . . when fewer people are searching for Democrats than are searching for poop?

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What an ASBO!

I can officially stop warning people that an Orwellian future is coming.

Because it's here already.

Well, not here here yet, but across the pond here.

11. A 13-year-old was served an order banning him from using the word "grass" anywhere in England and Wales.
13. In February 2003, a 16-year-old boy was banned from showing
his tattoos, wearing a single golf glove, or wearing a balaclava in public
anywhere in the country. He was also forbidden from congregating in public
places in groups of more than three people.
18. In September 2004, on the same day as he was released from prison, a 21-year-old found himself back in court being served with an interim order which banned him from entering any car park in England and Wales, touching any car without the owners permission, and riding a bicycle. On the full application hearing, the Council also managed to have him banned from wearing all forms of headwear in public.
19. The oldest recipient of an order to date is an 87-year-old who among other things is forbidden from being sarcastic to his neighbours
32. A 17-year-old Birmingham youth as been banned from travelling on the top deck of buses. The conditions of his ASBO are that he cannot travel on a bus unless he sits where the driver and other passengers can see him.

Dear Gawd, I hope Mister Speaker doesn't find out about this.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Swedes ban sex and pooping.

"...the council issued a ban on free sex and on pooping in the flowerbeds."
The ban only applies to the feline population.
No sex and/or pooping please, we're Swedish.

And I thought the GERMANS were strange.


Nixa smoking ban demonstrably a jobkiller.

From KY3:

During the debate over the smoking ban, the owner of the Longhorn Grill said the policy would cause his business to close and, last week, it did.

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Nothing? Nothing at all?



FBI raid on Air Evac.

Not a lot of details yet, but here are some articles:

Springfield News-Leader
Baxter Bulletin

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Not wearing seat belt saves man from becoming shish kabob.

In an article on New Hampshire's "Live Unrestrained or Die" status:

My son once slid sideways on the ice and ended up with a branch through the door of his car. If he'd been wearing a seatbelt, it would've skewered him.
Instead, the branch pushed him to the other side of the car," Clegg said. "So
no, I choose not to buckle, and I think it's baloney that the government would
tell me that I have to, or else."

Does that make it "Live Free And Live"?

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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Brit Brother Surveillance Drones to Buzz Liverpool.

From ThisIsLondon:

Planned targets will be everything from youths riding motorbikes in a park to
clashes between rival football fans and armed sieges where it might be unsafe
for officers to come too close.


"People clamour for the feeling of safety which cameras give," said Assistant Chief Constable Simon Byrne.

Secure Beneath The Watchful Rotors.

The Jones Report adds a snippet from Orwell:

"In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered
for an instant like a bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight.
It was the police patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not
matter, however. Only the Thought Police mattered."

Chapter 1 of George Orwell's 1984

While we're adding pop-culture excerpts, here's an addition of my own:

By the time Skynet became self-aware it had spread into millions of
computer servers across the planet. Ordinary computers in office buildings, dorm
rooms; everywhere. It was software; in cyberspace. There was no system core; it
could not be shutdown. The attack began at 6:18 PM, just as he said it would.
Judgment Day, the day the human race was almost destroyed by the weapons they'd built to protect themselves. I should have realized it was never our destiny to
stop Judgment Day, it was merely to survive it, together. The Terminator knew;
he tried to tell us, but I didn't want to hear it. Maybe the future has been
written. I don't know; all I know is what the Terminator taught me; never stop
fighting. And I never will. The battle has just begun.

- John Connor, in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.

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It seems that even *I* am not immune . . .

. . . from Obtuse Sign Syndrome.

Seen on an old beach towel hanging on my clothesline:

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Why Wisconsin Sucks, Part 4.

On this one, I don't even have to add any commentary. This sentence pretty much speaks for itself:

BELOIT, Wis. (AP) - A man ran his truck through the wall of a liquor store after his prosthetic leg became jammed between the accelerator and brake pedal.


Ron Paul at the debates.

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I don't know that chicknappers and egg abductors are good examples of gaydom.

Two gay flamingos have become proud foster parents after taking an abandoned chick under their wings.

Pink pair Carlos and Fernando were so desperate to have a family they started stealing eggs at the Wildfowl & Wetlands Trust, Slimbridge, Gloucestershire.


A is not A.

Or, in the case of Florida, permanent is not permanent.

In April, Florida paved the way to restore the vote to potentially hundreds of thousands of people who have completed their felony terms and previously were barred permanently from voting.

Words mean things. They have objective meanings.

But not in Florida.

[H/T 2 Mr. Hanna @ Tom Rants.]

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Gummint Cheese: Introducing EL SABOT.

Click pic to embiggen.

Who is El Sabot?

Maybe he's you.

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Gummint Cheese: Why ask why?

Click pic to embiggen.

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Monday, May 21, 2007

In government, EVERY day is April Fool's Day!

Alaskan Fish & Game officials are playing God's Hairdresser.

SOLDOTNA, Alaska, May 20 (UPI) -- Officials from Alaska's Department of
Fish and Game are set to give bears a chance to change their image through the
use of various hair dyes.

The Anchorage Daily News said Sunday that by giving each species of bear in
the region different colored fur, wildlife officials effectively will be
labeling the animals.

I can only hope no federal funds are used for this little foray into Fish & Game Eye For The Straight Bear.

But here's the worst part. The following was apparently said with a straight face:

Officials told the newspaper they did not want to embarrass the animals, but felt the hair-dying was necessary to ensure the bears' safety.

Read that again, just to make sure it really says what it says. They don't want to embarrass the bears.

It's not April 1. I already checked.


Why Missouri Rocks, Part 1.

We explode frozen chickens.

High school students from as far away as Hawaii and Egypt are planning
trips to Rolla, Mo., next month to practice the art of blowing stuff up.

The University of Missouri-Rolla, the only university in the United States
to offer a minor in explosives engineering, is again hosting Explosives Camp
this summer.

Many of the activities take place at UMR's Experimental Mine, where campers
learn about underground blasts and mining engineering careers. This year, Army
specialists from Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., will visit to present information about
the use of military explosives.

Campers also shoot dynamite, learn about detonators and set up fireworks
displays. The activities are supervised by professionals like Worsey, who has
been known to blow up frozen chickens in order to demonstrate the power of


Why Wisconsin sucks ass, part 2.

Their cattle just aren't right.

[H/T 2]


Brainhop brain dead.

Looks like it's time to pull the plug on Brainhop's life support.

They haven't added a new story since February.


Bush to Jimmeh: I know you are, but what am I?

The White House on Sunday fired back at former President Jimmy Carter, calling him "increasingly irrelevant" a day after Carter described George W. Bush's presidency as the worst in history in international relations.

I would have added "increasingly irrational."

But then, senility will do that.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]


Friday, May 18, 2007

I hoped the Paper Formerly Known As The Allen Deckard Propaganda Machine would get better.

But that isn't the case.

True, they aren't regurgitating what he says anymore. At least they haven't yet.

But they're still presenting opinion as fact.

Check out this headline.

Additional landing site needed at Thayer .

Now, I don't necessarily disagree, but it is a position, not a fact. And it needs to be a fact to be news.

But this wasn't put on the opinion page, no no. It was on the FRONT page.

Where the NEWS is supposed to be.


On my triumphant return to the blogosphere.

1. I must suffer from Self-Oppositional-Disorder. I did more things telling myself not to do things than I would have done if I told myself to do things. I physically could not take it easy. And when I'm NOT taking it easy, I put things off and bitch and moan about them.

2. Arm still hurts.

3. Discovered the Hoyle Word Games Demo in the Sierra file on my home computer, and specifically a game called "Word Yacht". Very addictive, but sort of unpredictable. Brazil, for instance, is a perfectly acceptable word to it, but Iraq and Egypt are not. It likes words longer than seven letters, and applauds me for typing them. It REALLY applauded me for "underwear." But my vocabulary is apparently larger than the game's, because it sometimes doesn't like real words that begin with prefixes such as "ex" or "re."

It also doesn't like "empoopen."

My highest score on it so far is 1364. My priggish robo-opponent, Miss Tardee, who is supposed to resemble a chemistry professor, rarely gets above 300. Yet on the rare occasions when she temporarily finds herself ahead of me in points, she talks smack. She doesn't hear the "b" words and "c" words I call her.

'Course, all that fast and furious typing might be what's aggravating my arm, not all the yardwork.

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Gummint Cheese: The Commute.

Click pic to embiggen.

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This is the part where I am an old fart.

Spent most of the last two days doing yard work -- lawn mowing, wead-eating (even at a couple of points using the weedeater as a tree trimmer) and such.

Today, my right arm aches all the way from the back of the shoulderblade to the wrist.


Makes typing difficult.

So I'm going to take it easy on the right-arm front for awhile and see if it gets better.

It sucks getting old.

The worst part -- not a half hour after I finished yesterday, it started raining.

That means by tomorrow the weeds will begin outgrowing the grass and my yard will look just as raggedy-assed as all the rest of them in the neighborhood.

But today, today I have one kickass lawn.

See youse when I get better.

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Buck up, Katie Couric!

You're not doing as badly as MSNBC.

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Hell gets a little more crowded.

I normally don't celebrate too much on this blog so soon after someone dies.

It looks petty and might hurt the family's feelings.

But God's Bully doesn't deserve the high road. He has shown an affinity for wallowing in the mud for decades -- scapegoating, anti-intellectual third-grade namecalling, purging the church of the imperfect (which would mean, I guess, that Jesus is the only one eligible for membership), bearing false witness against his President, crusading against Teletubbies . . . and on and on.

For God's Bully, I will make an exception.

A little music for God's Bully to get sodomized by demons to:

<bgsound src="">

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Ron Paul Revolution.

This is better than any campaign ad from '00 or '04, nearly all current television programs, and 90% of the music videos ever shown on MTV.

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Didn't Brush Creek Media put that out?

Andrew Sullivan On Ron Paul.

I think it came out right after "Bear Sex Party."

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Chapman vs. WaPo.

Pro-clutter Steve Chapman takes issue with WaPo annointing itself the Arbiter of Candidate Legitimacy.

Without the peripheral candidates, the debates would resemble the dining
choices available on rural interstates: Wendy's or McDonald's?

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That would be like Alan Greenspan railing against religion and atheism.

El Popo anti-Marxism, anti-capitalism.

Um, your El Popo-ness, sir? What else is there?

Is he also against existence and nothingness?

Against childhood and adulthood?

Against salvation and damnation?

Pick a side, El Popo. People who sit on the fence are liable to get a picket up their ass.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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Why Wisconsin sucks ass, installment two.

They deep-fry testicles there.

If you enjoy having unfried testicles, stay far, far away.

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Gummint Cheese: Lost.

Click pic to engorgify.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Sorry, minions.

No blogging today.

My allergies have been worse than normal this year, and have been thoroughly kicking my ass the past two and a half days.

My nose is running like Jesse Jackson, Ross Perot, and Ralph Nader run for President, by which I mean constantly.

And the pressure in my head feels like a pretty bad hangover. Surely the one homemade wine cooler (half wine; half Vault Zero) I had several weeks ago isn't finally catching up with me.

Damn pollen-spewing vegetation. We should abolish it.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

F*ck you, too, WaPo.

Washington Post calls Ron Paul "clutter."

I'm curious. What were Bill Clinton's poll numbers at this time during the 1992 election cycle? Had anyone outside of Arkansas heard of him, apart from that interminably long convention speech?

We don't need you to filter out our options, WaPo.

In fact, we don't need you for much of anything.

Not even for asswipe, because I would think that after wiping with WaPo, one's ass would be dirtier than it was BEFORE wiping.

UPDATE: Technorati affirms Ron Paul's online support is genuine. See, we told you so, Retards in Pajamas!


Click pic.

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Oyster Shrugged.

Randian superheroes do exist in the real world.

Putting the price way up over $4 a gallon isn't about making a profit. It's
about making a statement to a multinational corporation. After Shell forced him
to pay higher prices for gas in San Francisco and jacked up his rent, Oyster
says, he decided to fight back.

"I got fed up,'' Oyster admits. "It makes a statement, and I guess when
people see that price they also see the Shell sign right next to it.''

In fact, far from making a huge profit, Oyster is going out of
business. He has operated the Shell station at Sixth and Harrison for 22 years,
but he's walking away from it at the end of the month, handing over the keys to
Shell officials and expecting them to shut it down.

"I'm getting nothing for the station,'' he says. "I just give them the
keys and walk away. . ."

I wonder what job he'll take up in Galt's Gulch. Window-washing, perhaps.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Can you say 'snide'? I knew you could.

FMNN takes equal offense at the tone ABC oozes in this snippet:

Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, who barely registers in public opinion polls of the
Republican presidential field, won last Thursday night's debate. -

DIGG catches them deleting pro-Paul messages here.

Apparently, the network's arrogance and presumption didn't die with Peter Jennings.

Fuck you, ABC.
(P.S. Fuck you, too, MYSPACE!)


(as of 10:15 AM Central Time, 10 May 07)

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Gummint Cheese: KITH vs. LHOTP

Click pic to expandify it.

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I watched it twice, just to make sure.

It pains me to write this.

I am a comic book fan and specifically an X-Men fan.

So I was looking forward to X-Men: The Last Stand coming to cable.

It came.

I was underwhelmed.

The movie is a mess.

The first thing I noticed is that apparently the Rapture came, and the only one it took was Nightcrawler, because he is nowhere to be found in the movie and no explanation at all is given for his disappearance.

The second thing I noticed is that, much like in the comic, the character Colossus has almost zero depth. I don't know if they just haven't figured out how to use him or what.

The there's Beast, who almost pulls off the look except that his makeup makes him look perpetually greasy. Beast is furry (as is Nightcrawler, whose makeup was similarly botched in the second movie), not greasy. And apparently he was a full-fledged X-Man sometime in the past, yet Wolverine somehow has no idea who he is.

And Jean Grey. How can she have lost all of her acting ability between the second and third movies?

There's an androgynous SHOCKWAVE character, who apparently becomes part of Magneto's inner circle, but whose entire purpose in the movie is to clap her hands for a couple of minutes in one scene. I don't think she even has any dialogue.

The movie's just a mess. Admittedly, for brief moments, it's a fun mess, but a mess nonetheless.

Here's a summary, so you don't have to waste an hour and a half of your time watching the movie.

The best scene of the movie is part of the opening one, featuring a Sentinel attack. Unfortunately, it's not real. It's a training exercise in the Danger Room (Star Trek fans, think "holodeck.")

Then Jean comes to life and kills her boyfriend/husband Cyclops.

Then she kills Prof X.

Iceman flirts with a VERY young Shadowcat. And I do mean VERY. She looks and acts like she's about eight.

As a result Rogue pouts.

Beast quits his job with the government; Angel jumps out of a window.

Magneto and his homies attack Alcatraz.

Shadowcat and Mutant Nullification Boy defeat a strangely buff and kinda hot Juggernaut. Shadowcat calls him "Dickhead."

Wolverine kills Jean Grey.

Along the way, Rogue, Magneto, and Mystique get demutified. Rogue voluntarily; the others not.

Awful; just awful.

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Why Wisconsin Sucks Ass, installment one.

1. It thinks the elderly aren't paying high enough prices for fuel.

MERRILL, Wis. (AP) -- A service station that offered discounted gas to the
elderly and people supporting youth sports has been ordered by the state to
raise its prices.

. . .

Bhandari says he got a letter from the state auditor last month saying the
state would sue him if he did not raise his prices. The state could penalize him
for each discounted gallon he sold, with the fine determined by a judge.

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Artist's recreations.

Here are a couple of my interpretations of actual signs in the Thayer Area. I assure you they ARE real signs, but are not in places where I can get a good picture of them.

That one is handwritten in Lane's Grocery, beneath something with the post-Apocalyptic title "POOP HOUND." I can't get a picture of it because the people at Lane's are very observant, and I don't want to have to explain to them that I have a hobby of taking pictures of unusual signs and am not overly interested in the POOP HOUND, really.

That one is on the Dairy Queen sign, and the only good vantage point to take a picture of it would be standing in the middle of Highway 63. My art is not something that I am willing to die for at this point.

That is my conception of what the sign at Dairy Queen means.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Almost forgot.

Happy Hairy Ass Truman Day!

Ron Paul kicks Paris Hilton's ass!

Seen on Technorati this morning:

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Is he Brad's brother, or husband?

Ian Paisley inaugurated as first minister of Northern Ireland.

GM to NASCAR: Why not fill the pockets of people in the Midwest, not the Middle East?

One of NASCAR's top sponsors plans to file a formal petition
asking that it join other racing series with a switch to ethanol to power its
But Ford, Dodge, and Toyota seem perfectly content being the buttboys of Big Oil and the bin Laden family.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Gummint Cheese XXXL.

Look! Look! Today's comic has twelve . . . count 'em, twelve freakin' panels!

Click pic to unsmallify it.

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Had to drag out the fossil-fuel-burning, emission-emitting, gas lawnmower yesterday.

I let the grass get too high for the Fuck You Ragheads Machine.

It was the first time this season I had to use the gas one this season. I'd forgotten how heavy and cumbersome the damn thing is compared to the Fuck You Ragheads Machine.

But it IS easier to use to cut crop-circle-type designs in the lawn and annoy the neighbors.

I'll try to keep ahead of the grass growth from now on.


Damn heterosexuals.

I knew it! Global warming is not caused by SUVs and oil companies -- it's all the breeders' fault!

Why do you hets have to ruin things for the rest of us?

The paper doesn't go into whether or not increased use of lubricants would cut down on the heat produced by friction, thus reducing global warming.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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Mes étoiles! Nicky Sarks wins!

Frankie Mitts must be rolling over in his grave.

I guess Surrender Monkey better not hold his breath about getting a position in the cabinet.

It is now officially okay to call them French fries again.

But I think I'll stick with Freedom Poodles awhile longer, just in case.

[H/T 2 Drudge!]

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Note to Roger Clemens . . .

. . . you looked so good in Astros Red.

Beefy guys who wear white look like the Michelin Man.

Good luck, though.

At least now I won't be so conflicted about being both a Cubbies fan AND a Roger Clemens fan. I guess I *do* need an AL team to root for, even if that league doesn't play real baseball. Years back, I tried a while to be a White Sox fan, but that didn't work out so well. And now you can whoop up on those perpetual whiners, the Red Sox, who built any success they might have not on improving their own team, but on bitching to MLB about other teams improving THEIRS. They are the ones who brought socialism to baseball.
Go Yankees!

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Suffer from migraines?

(Or an aversion to mercury poisoning, for that matter?)

Then start hoarding incandescent lightbulbs now!

For those of you who don't know, fluorescent lights often make life a living hell for migraine sufferers who work under them.

Now, it seems, a coalition of lightbulb makers has sold out the American consumer and is moving to muscle out incandescents.

In March, Philips Lighting Co. and several environmental agencies announced
a coalition to phase out incandescents, saying that by the end of a 10-year
transition period the U.S. could save $18 billion a year in electricity bills
and the energy output of 80 coal-fired power plants.

Yeah, but will that $18 billion be offset by the cost of doctor's visits by migraine sufferers?

I'm not anti-fluorescent; I've got a bunch of them in my house. But I *am* pro-choice when it comes to lighting. Why remove the incandescent option, if fluorescents are indeed the second coming of the Messiah? If they are so gol-darned spectacular, wouldn't people choose to buy them?

If you have to tamper with the market, the way to do it is this -- impose a small tax on each incandescent lightbulb sold to fund a small subsidy on each fluorescent sold. Or provide a $10 million X-Prize-type reward for the first company that can mass produce fluorescent bulbs at a cost of less than the average incandescent. That would remove the price disparity between the two, and more people would choose fluorescents.

Not to save the planet, but to save money.


Gummint Cheese: Seis de Mayo.

Click pick to gigantify.

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

Should 'rash' and 'toilet paper' be in the same sentence?

Only if you're talking about noticing, as I have, the rash of toilet paper/poop stories in the news (and, as a result, here on this blog) lately.

They even inform me that toilet paper is the new prison smokes:

In the prison in Hutchinson, Kan., economics are responsible for the latest injustice being set forth on an assortment of incarcerated ne'er-do-wells. The prison decided it could save up to $600 per month by cutting the allocation of toilet paper from five to four rolls. As a result, toilet paper has become a valuable commodity among the inmates and is now being used as a means of dealing or trading. So, a conversation in the exercise yard these days could go something like this: "Hey Rocco, I can supply you with a carton of Lucky's and a shiv but it'll cost you two rolls of Charmin and a bar of Oil of Olay."

No Impact Man.

What does it say about a man when his highest goal is to have no impact whatsoever?

In other words, to be totally irrelevant.

P.S. He obsesses about wiping his butt. And no, not in an OCD "I can't get it clean enough" good sort of way.

These are Al Gore and Ralph Nader's followers.


These are the people who gave birth to our Republic?

Dateline UK: Big Brother spray-paints circles around dog poop.

No, honest!

Pedestrians in Cheltenham have been playing an impromptu version of
hopscotch since the local council ordered street cleaners to leave dog mess
where they find it.

Instead, the cleaners have been instructed to call a dog warden,
who arrives with an aerosol and sprays a red circle around the mess. If it is
still in situ a week later, a yellow circle is added and, after a further week,
a white one.

Your tax euros at work.

UPDATE: Our friends north of the border seem to be more appreciative of poop. Or depreciative of their mothers; I can't tell which.


Gummint Cheese: 'Nuther Twofer

Click pics to imbignate them, if you need.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Quote of the day.

This one comes from Breitbart:

"It's both inappropriate and unusual to paint a dog."


Remember BBSes?

During my brief stint at the Government Advanced Indoctrination Center (S)MSU, there was a campus BBS (that stands for "Bulletin Board System," in case any young whippersnappers are reading this) called COEPIS, and dammit it was pronounced "co-epis" as in "co-epistemology," NOT "see-piss." It stood for "College of Education and Psychology Information Services" or sumpinruther like that. It was started by a psychology professor, who outsourced the running of the thing to a Sysop.

The first Sysop (that means "system operator," my padawans) took a rather laissez-faire attitude toward conversations on the board. He even attended our organizational/inaugural "Students for a Libertarian Society" meeting.

But then he took a backseat and a NEW Sysop was brought in.

Who banned us from using the word "shit" on the board.

I, of course, left a message for the FIRST Sysop and sarcastically asked if the word "guano" was permissible.

He assured me that it was.

Several messages ensued saying "Guano! Guano! Guano!" and calling the Sysop a "Guano-Op."

Why am I telling you this, my minions?

No reason.

Except . . .


Barack Obama Kelos a (now former) supporter's MYSPACE page.

And you thought eminent domain only happened in the brick and mortar world. Remind you of anyone, specifically the looter class in ATLAS SHRUGGED?

(Yeah, yeah; I know MYSPACE management isn't the US government, but it IS in a sense the government of MYSPACE.)

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

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Gummint Cheese Twofer.

Click pics if you need to embignify them.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

12 yr. old son to dad: Don't mutilate my pee-pee!

Oregon courts to son: You'll take your circumcision, and you'll LIKE it!

UPDATE: Since there seems to be some confusion about whether or not the child wants the procedure done, I've dug a little deeper and found this:

The father made an appointment for a circumcision in 2004. But the mother
responded by going to court, saying her son told her that he was afraid to defy
his father, but didn't want the procedure.

I have to wonder, if the father had joined Heaven's Gate, would the courts let him have his son castrated? What if he wanted his son to have a tattoo?


Let them wipe with cake.

Walkersville, Maryland, Town Queen Manager Gloria Long Dong Silver Rollins assumes the anti-personal hygiene position and removes the toilet paper from all the city's parks.

Toilet paper, it seems, is combustible. And vandals, it seems, have discovered this fact.

Last week, vandals set some paper on fire in a men's bathroom at the Walkersville Community Park.
But if someone is intent on torching asswipe in the park restrooms, what is stopping them from bringing their own? Is there going to be a Wiping Observer (perhaps from the UN) stationed in each stall to make sure any toilet paper brought into the restroom is used for it's intended purpose?

I suggest in lieu of a NO ASSWIPE FOR YOU policy, the town should install coin-operated toilet paper vending machines. If the consumer has to pay for his asswipe, he is less likely to waste it.

Or maybe put toilet paper in the restrooms that has been treated with some flame-retardant material, such as asbestos. (Then buy stock in pharmaceutical companies that make drugs to fight rectal cancer.)

Or, you could always go the easy route and install bidets.


E.R. A.I.

Apparently, Breitbart and/or the AP believes hospital emergency rooms are sentient now.

Although no one was stung, the Little Rock emergency room still decided to be closed for ambulance traffic.

Let that sink in a moment. The hospital room . . . (puff) . . . decided . . . (puff) . . . to be CLOSED. WHOA!

I'm hoping this does not serve as a catalyst for rooms all over the world deciding to go on strike.


[H/T 2 Drudgeypoo.]

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Coming soon to an America near you.

What, you doubt it's coming to America? Well, it's already in one city in the Mother Country.

[H/T 2 memeorandum.]

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Gummint Cheese: Self-reflection.

Click pic to embiggen.

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